To not want to pay?

Can you not message the group to say you're a bit disappointed that no-one seems to have made any effort to replace you, given the fact that they let x get away with dropping out, and your situation is so much more serious? (BTW, have you made any efforts to replace yourself? - I do of course understand if you think it's up to the group cos they will be on hols with this person, but if so maybe explain this as well)

Why is it there responsibility to fill the space? Surely it’s you that needs to fill it so you are not out of pocket. I’d be pissed if the person dropping out expected everyone else to run around trying to fix the issue that they created 🙄

Assuming the group is 10 people...
What if a few said, let's cover the difference, but the rest don't want to? For whatever reason. It can create an atmosphere of those who feel "it's only an extra tenner" vs " I can't/won't pay every time someone might decide to drop out'

Some of my friends could easily afford it, others couldn't. A group booking would be made based on a budget everyone agreed to. An extra tenner might be someone's petrol to get there

Not saying OP hasn't got a good reason to drop out. Most people will think they have a good reason, if they can't go to something they previously agreed to.

But they should still absorb their costs.

They've based their plans and finances on having a certain number of people attending. If you can't find someone to take your place, I think it's entirely reasonable for you to pay-- which is annoying and won't feel great, but it is fair.

You can reasonably ask if they know someone who can take your place.
If they don't, and if you also don't, then there is no question that you have to pay up.

You need to find someone else to take your place, or stump up. simple as.

It's a whole 5 months away. You've already decided you don't have childcare?
Why can't you pay the balance then find the replacement who can go in your place and reimburse you?

What happens if everyone pulls out (not inconceivable given how flaky people are these days)? Does the last woman standing foot the entire bill?

This is why I no longer get involved in any event of this nature.

No it’s not reasonable to ask everyone else to pay more for an event you committed to. If they offered that, then fine, but they haven’t.

I am sorry you’ve had to drop out. It sounds like you have a good reason, and I hope your place can be filled.
Whilst you have asked if it is reasonable to expect the others to put in extra to cover your share, you have no way of making this happen.
I assume that when you all got together and agreed to go on the trip one person took responsibility and put the booking in her name. If no replacement can be found, and the others don’t contribute towards the shortfall that one person could end up paying it all. That wouldn’t be fair or reasonable.

I'm going to a cottage in October with some friends but there's a chance I may have to work that weekend but won't know until a few weeks before. If I drop out I'll be paying the full amount I owe. The payment for us all was worked out for 10 of us sharing and I wouldn't want my friends to have to pay any extra for me not being able to go. I think it's an unwritten rule that if you say yes to these type of trips you are responsible for your part of the trip which is either payment or finding someone else to replace you if you can't go. You don't put the burden on others

The circumstances make the difference here. You’ve been very vague about them as they are outing which makes me think it could be an illness or a bereavement. If this is the case we wouldn’t expect a friend to foot the bill for their misfortune, particularly when we have 5 months to fill the slot. However if it’s something less serious then I think it would be fair to pay.

Maybe I misunderstood....but I thought the OP said the group found a replacement for the previous drop out?

I agree though that the OP should pay her share unless a replacement can be found - that's what I said

I also wondered if the OP has shown CF-ery before, therefore has form and the group is a bit tired of her?

They booked the accommodation based on you saying you could go, maybe they could’ve booked smaller/cheaper accommodation if you hadn’t said you were going. You either need to find a replacement or pay the remaining balance.

When we plan a group trip, it is up to the individual to pay for their share and if they cannot go then find a replacement to pay the remaining balance. The group booked the trip based on you attending. I suppose the question for you is, is this friendship worth it?

That’s what the cottage company have asked for, but the op has made a commitment to friends to go and pay the full amount. She should honour that commitment.

Don't pay a penny more. You've paid the deposit, that's all you are obligated to pay. If anyone asks for more money tell them no because you aren't going anymore and that's what the deposit is for.

Also it’s five months away. I think they will see what happens and discuss if your space isn’t filled.

When they get together in person for the trip, they may discuss your being unable to come and might decide collectively to cover the cost of your space.

If they are decent, they will all be mindful of your dignity and privacy, they won’t discuss chipping in for your space in front of you on the group chat. If someone on the group chat wrote, “OP had this sad event happen, I think it would be nice to cover the cost of her space between us”, they are probably mindful of the fact that they don’t want you to feel like a charity case, and perhaps not everyone in the group knows the full details of your situation. It would feel very inappropriate to discuss these details on the chat in front of you.

It would also be embarrassing for people who are sympathetic but can’t afford to pay any extra.

It sounds as though there was someone wanting a space who missed out initially when the first person dropped out. So I would pay up, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t get your money returned.

Pay up! In the save way as they've got 5 months to arrange someone to take your place you've got 5 months to make alternative childcare arrangements!

I was going to ask how you had childcare at the point of booking but now don’t and I think you may have had an easier ride if you had explained from the start that childcare had fallen through for sad reasons.
As an aside I don’t understand why people start this kind of thread withholding what is essential information in understanding if they are being unreasonable or not. If it’s too “outing” then fair enough but don’t ask aibu because unless we know the reason for the child care falling through how can we judge if your friends are being a little unkind in not offering to absorb the extra cost or not.

I’d be more annoyed at replacements than the money tbh. All these pepople saying find replacements. Wouldn’t you be annoyed at the change of dynmamics.

Or more likely they knew of someone who wished to go. So it was Simples.

Why should they be bothered? You’re the one who’s pulled out, it’s your responsibility to sort an alternative or pay. Maybe that’s the issue, they think you’re taking the piss cancelling and expecting them to take all the responsibility.

I think the different responses could be either of 2 things, they dont want to try find someone else for the second time or because the other person was more demanding and less apologetic they probably thought it would be harder to get the final amount out of them. Path of least resistance was finding someone else.