To be jealous of rich students

I went to uni right on the cusp. Had I not spent a 3rd year at college retaking A-levels, I would have got the full grant for uni. Instead I got a half grant the 1st year then extra means-tested loan the following years. Actually the grant year was worse, because they didn't extend the loan to cover the shortfall.
My parents didn't pay for my accommodation or anything else. I think a few times right at the end of term when skint I asked for a bit of money but that was it. I planned to work at uni but then really didn't want to, so I thought I would see if I could get by without. I did work all holidays though.
I think the problem you had was a parent problem not a 'other rich kids' problem. They shouldnt have been taking your whole loan off you and making you work. You say the loan wouldn't cover the cost of halls, but that certainly wasn't the case everywhere. If you had moved away maybe to a different uni, it might have been very different for you.
Regardless of all of that, it's utterly pointless being jealous and angry about today's students. Unless you want to be one of those bitter old people who constantly complains about the 'youth of today' or 'I never got....' etc etc. It won't change what happened.
You sound like you are doing well now. So despite your struggles you've become successful. And there's nothing to say you would be any better off if you had got your degree.

I paid DD's rent and she managed on her loan. Health issues and lockdown meant that working to support herself wasn't an option. A lot of her friends worked though.

I don't think it is that rare for parents to pay rent for students.

I'm longer in the WIWIKAU Facebook group as DD graduated 2 years ago, but there are a lot of posts from parents worried about being able to financially support their DC through university. A lot of the newer halls of residence are expensive, and the rents are higher than the maintenance loans.

@Beupstairsreadymyangel I think your views are skewed because you only see the more well off students. There will be loads who aren't spending all day in coffee shops, but who are working their socks off to support themselves.

Well, yes, you were surely letdown by lack of appropriate support and information.

But that isn't the fault of those students whose parents do support them now and do take out (very large) loans to make their way through Uni comfortably.

I'm going to say again, students whose parents bankroll them through Uni are the exception, not the rule. Most parents top up to max loan amount only, many cant even manage that. And most parents don't gift hefty deposits either. Most of today's students will struggle far more than you ever did to make their way in adult life, with tens of thousands of pounds of student debt, plus impossible to achieve house prices. Count your blessings for what you have, and don't begrudge the next generation, who have it far harder than we did to get established/buy a home/afford nursery fees a few years carefree on their borrowed money before they face a lifetime of debt and expensive rental accommodation.

Your parents sound awful. Sorry.

In the kindest way OP, it sounds like you’re upsetting yourself over a lot of assumptions you’ve made.

Sorry if you’ve already said, but have you had any therapy or counselling? It’s not healthy to be so resentful and upset over some strangers and the life you imagine them to have.

I think your resentment is misplaced. It sounds as though you had no support from your parents, they didn’t help you financially whilst you were at university and they took all your student loan as well. I’d be angry with them , not the students who do have supportive parents.

I agree with others saying you’re upset at the wrong people, although I agree feelings aren’t always logical.

Many students now will have a loan that doesn’t cover rent, and will be working to make up the costs.

Many of them may feel like things were easier for people your age E.g buying a house. All swings and roundabouts.

I understand how you feel and I think it's justified.
I didn't get any help either but I've channelled that and worked really hard to make sure I can help my kids. The eldest doesn't want to go to uni so I'm helping him in other ways. The youngest wants to do a 5 year degree. If that ends up happening he will have to take out loans for the fees but I will pay his rent and living expenses. I'm not flush and have a lodger to help me save money but it's really important to me to try and help my kids as it's such an uneven playing field.

So grabbing a random year of 2006/7 (because it was the first one I found the info for) - and this is talking about the above inflation rise of student halls - so earlier year would have been more affordable still.

Halls accommodation costs were £4038 pa in London and £2581 pa in Wales (these were the highest and lowest costs, frustratingly they didn't quote the overall average outside London)

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2006/dec/04/highereducation.uk

Student loan amounts (full) were

Full year rates:
Students living at home: £3,415
Students living away from home, in London: £6,170
Students living away from home, outside London: £4,405
Final year rates:
Students living at home: £3,085
Students living away from home, in London: £5,620
Students living away from home, outside London: £4,080

Source: https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wms/?id=2005-07-14a.35WS.10

So there was nothing stopping OP taking the full live away loan and living in halls. The loan covered hall fees and basic living costs. Any luxuries of extras could be paid for by working in the holidays or a Saturday job.

OP chose not to do that. Her choice, and it could well have been a good one a she doesn't have a huge debt and is doing fine. But she had the same opportunity (in fact better) than the students of today that she is so jealous of have.

As others have said, the real issue should be with her parents.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-68534953

You had the opportunity to go to uni away from your parents & take a loan too

You're parents were selfish arseholes more interested in the money you brought in to them than in you I'm afraid

Your education should have come first and they did the opposite of support.

They put up every barrier they could to enable you you to fail

I'm so sorry

“(I remember taking that day off and my mum being annoyed because I wasn’t earning; meanwhile she hadn’t worked for about 18 years)”

Is this not the crux of your annoyance? Was your mum unable to work?

That’s a nice reply but I feel a bit disingenuous as in we are quite wealthy if you are basing this on income but the way uni funding is organised now means that you can take out maintenance loans for rent but these are means tested and if your parents are earning over 62000 combined income, you have to find the rest for them as it won’t cover living costs. It is unfair as you could be on £62000 or 1 million but have to find the same to top up. It is staggered so you could be on £40,000 combined and you get more maintenance Loan, less from the parents but parents still have to find this amount to top up or the student could work but that can be many hours which compromises their studies.

I'm so sorry, it isn't even about having shitty parents is it. The fact is that the most loving, caring and responsible parents must be feeling the pain of this situation as well. You go from struggling with food and bills to having to see your child have fewer opportunities because of your situation. There are shitty parents but there are plenty of really wonderful parents too. ❤️

I think your we're financially exploited by your parents OP, taking your loan off you.

I'm so sorry.

It must be very, very hard to go to Uni now if you don’t qualify for hardship funds or you aren’t wealthy. We are putting a plan together for our 17 year old, as maintenance loans are means tested we are going ti have to find £500 a month for his living expenses probably more. It is daunting but he does eat loads now and in all honesty I probably do pay close to that for food and his social life.

Yes, this is true, I only worked in the holidays to pay for my music, social life and clothes!

Has not ‘is’

I don’t know about that, in my mind that’s confirmation bias but not objectively true. Anecdotally I worked all holidays whilst attending uni but not term time, my DH was the same, we work hard now and both have a good work ethic. However, my brother who is considerably more successful than me, works in law in the City, didn’t work at all in uni years or law college years, he wanted to focus on studying, played the long game and it is paid off.

I studied photography at uni and I was so resentful of the other students. Firstly, the rich people get to focus purely on their studies whilst the ‘poor’ have to get a job and balance work and studying often equating poorer grades.

Also, as I studied photography - all of the students who succeeded after graduation were those who came from rich parents. They had the ‘connections’, they had the money for equipment and most importantly they had the money to fund themselves to either start up a business or just generally with self employment. It’s gutting because most of us with actual talent were the ones who couldn’t fund a career in the arts because creative subjects and jobs enable only the rich to succeed.

one memory sticks with me where all people on my course were in the same photography shop printing out our portraits for the following day. I was counting out my last few quid to print mine out, whilst the rich people were dropping thousands on a new lens at the same time.

Loads of my friends with parents on low incomes got hardship grants back then, too.

I went to uni in 2003 and the full loan (if I’d got it) would have covered halls plus tuition fees. My fees were approx £1100 per year and halls approx £2500. IIRC full loan was £4k ish (I got £3k).