MIL on holiday over baby due date

Right?! There's so many threads on mom's net about how people don't want their mother-in-law to see the baby until it's 17 months old and then there's this. I swear mothers-in-law can't win.

Did you read the OP?

She says he's pissed off it's her 3rd vacation.

It says this in the OP:

Hubby is really pissed off as this is the 3rd holiday they have been on this year as MIL doesnt work and FIL is semi retired due to health issues ( not managed well Diabetes related issues)

Sorry what ? Get over it she is entitled to her holiday when she wants
She will see you when she's back
I'd also be careful with what you wish for lots of inlaws are literally over the top

DFOD.

The DH CAN cope with the mum's holiday.

Why does OP say he’s pissed off because it’s her third holiday this year then? What possible difference does it make whether or not she’s in the country?

Don’t see what the issue is, most people are asking how they keep their MIL away and you are complaining. Honestly take it as a blessing and enjoy your time together as a family unit when new baby arrives.

She’s probably been reading MN and the current trend of no visitors for a month after baby arrives which includes parents and in-laws.

Also not all babies come on their dates. If mine had have been away 5 days either side of the due date they still would have been home for the birth as they were 2 weeks early. My cousin went a good 10 days over her dates.

DH needs to get over himself. She's entitled to a life, and if she wasn't away she'd not be in the delivery room, would she? On the other hand-are you hinting at coersive control on the part of her new partner? If it is, DH may need to get off his high horse and talk to his mum like a grown up-not a sulky teenager.

I don't think her husband has an issue with his mum going on holiday, just that she's purposely booked to go on holiday when her sons about to have a baby, that is odd... they don't work so they can go on holiday anytime but have purposely booked to be away.

As someone whose child was born seriously ill and straight into NICU , my mums support was huge during those first few days.

Your husband has no business being pissed off and he is being completely unreasonable. Your MIL found love and wants to enjoy her time with her husband. She has raised her children. For heavens sake, why does she have to be there for the birth, she’ll be back within days of it. You MIL’s life isn’t about your husband and his wants anymore. He needs to respect her wish to travel. He has no right to be unhappy that this is their 3rd holiday in a year. He is behaving childishly. Deciding he won’t tell her when the baby is born because “she obviously doesn’t care” simply because she will be away for a few days around the due date 🙄 Is he even mature enough to be a parent?

I'm with you OP, if my mum did this I'd be very upset, I can understand why your hubby feels this way. Very odd behaviour IMO, she purposely wants to get away from you during a major life event

Don't you think you should just get on wth your life and let hubby's mum do the same. MILs are wrong when they supposedly 'interfere and wrong when they are absent.

I think your DH is right to be saddened by this. It just shows she’s not interested in the baby. I’d want to be there in case I was needed for whatever reason after the birth to support my kid and their partner. And of course to meet my new grandkid. To holiday over the period when they could go anytime is rubbish :-/

It's very unlikely you would want your mother in law there straight after you have given birth so it really doesn't matter. Lots of people have horrendous labours/ births etc so it's not a fun, social time with everyone meeting the baby.
I was so unwell I was hallucinating having lost so much blood and they "forgot" to give me the blood transfusion needed and I was sent home where I passed out and an ambulance was called. I wouldn't have noticed or cared if my mother in law was there. You have more important things to worry about. Maybe she had a similar horrific time so wants to make sure you are left in peace to recover and she will come and see you when you feel up to visitors.

I was very close to my dm and she booked a holiday wheh my second was due. I didn’t think anything of it. She wasn’t going to be at the birth and there was plenty of time afterwards for her to meet my dc. As it turned out I was ridiculously late anyway so she was there the day after the birth!!

Am I misreading this OP or has she purposely booked a holiday during your due date and 5 days either side of it?

I could have written your post about my parents…

I just think there are lots of people who don't read the post properly or who are bored and like to be obtuse. Of course it's weird to ask when a special event is and say you want to know so you can make sure you are not around for it.
'When is your birthday?'
'Next Thursday'
'I'll make sure I book something so I am nowhere near you for Thursday then' 🫤

I’m so confused by this thread.

86% really think that it’s normal for a grandmother to ask for the due date of her grandchild so she can purposefully arrange to be out of the country?

mumsnet is like another planet sometimes. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t find this at least a bit odd, if not incredibly hurtful.

I think there's a difference between giving them some space and deliberately booking a vacation over the delivery dates if your grandchild. And this also has to be taken in context of the other information OP gave that she has been pulling away from them.

We're really not trying to claim it's normal to confirm when your grandchild will be born then book vacation for those dates plus 5 days before and after?

If your daughter was giving birth will you choose that moment to travel? What if she needs help and support? What if there are difficulties with the delivery? It is it fine because it's her DIL?

Same old MN - don’t agree with me? You’re being obtuse/unreasonable/mental. Try rereading my post slowly, then accuse me of being obtuse.

My own mother booked holidays for the times at which both my children were due. What made it hurt even more when I had my first was that she used to be a midwife so absolutely understood what was involved and how much support a first time mum might need. I found it very difficult at the time and it's definitely affected my relationship with my parents.