MIL on holiday over baby due date

I think you’re getting an unreasonably hard time on this thread.

Her being on holiday is not in itself an issue in my opinion, my own Mum was away when both of my children were born (holiday booked before I was pregnant).

It seems very odd that she specifically asked for the due date so she could make sure she’s away though, have either of you asked what her thinking is? It’s like she’s going out of her way to make the point that she doesn’t want to be involved. Perhaps there is more to her behaviour because that just seems such an odd thing to do.

So she asked for your due date and then specifically booked to be far away over that period of time?

Are you sure it’s not a misunderstanding? Either that it’s not what she meant, or that somehow she thinks this is what you asked for? eg did you ask her to book holiday to come and visit and she misinterpreted you wanted her to get lost?

I wish my MIL would do this 😆

So basically she's cutting the apron strings and her men children are being put out that she's not at their beck and call?

‘needed’ tells more of a story. What did you envisage needing her for? Childcare?

Unless your DH is funding MILs holidays and lifestyle then he is being a d*.

He needs to grow up and stop acting like a brat. There'l be plenty of time for her to get to know the baby after the holiday if thats what he wants.

That solves the problem of this new fangled idea that new mummies have to have a month bonding with their new born and baby daddy without outside interference I guess.

I’m sure MIL will be along with a gift and to hold baby for you to take a shower once your exclusive bonding month is over, and baby daddy has gone back to work and your mother has retreated back to the sanctuary she once called home.

Hubby and little bubs can catch up with MIL another time? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Our dc was due after ils annual trip-which dh accompanied them on.. . Ds arrived early. Mil never forgave dh for refusing to go on their trip and leave us behind.. Been 9 years since we saw them... Some people have odd priorities ime.. But seems like a win if yours won't be around to me!!

Yanbu. Mu own grandmother did this same thing exactly for my birth many many years ago. I was the first child for my father and he was very hurt.to be honest growing up we had a polite but distant relationship and there was no grief or sadness when she passed away.

Did your husband consider asking why they specifically booked holiday over the due dates? Its not like this will necessarily even be when the baby is born?

Does he want her there?

It’s complicated with babies isn’t it as when they arrive could be anywhere in a 4-8 week window realistically.

😆

It honestly sounds like your MIL has devoted a lot of her life to raising her children and grandchildren, she was maybe feeling unappreciated. She met a man, who appreciated her. She spent sometime stuck at home during lockdown when she realised maybe her kids didn’t need her as much as she thought or just couldn’t be arsed with it all. Lockdown lifted and she decided, like many people, to get away while she can. Especially if her husband is not well. She’s enjoying her retirement with her husband and it sounds like she’s having a lovely time. Your husband is being a spoilt child.

Completely understand why DH would be upset, it only happens once, surely they could go away a few weeks earlier and be there so he can share the brilliant news when it happens. Maybe I'm 'self absorbed' too, but family is important and in my view should be there for life's events.

Well why doesnt he ask her then why she wants to be away?

I really don't see the issue here. You'll get several days to bond with the baby with just you, DH and probably your mother. MIL will be back a few days later and will surely come round then?!

My PIL used to own a holiday apartment in Majorca and they were there when I had DD1 (our first baby and their first grandchild). DH enjoyed phoning them there to tell them that they had just become grandparents. They were very excited and able to celebrate with all of their friends there.

They booked flights to come home and meet DD within a few days. All fine. I'd had a traumatic birth so was happy that the visits were spread out a little.

I get the upset tbh. Mil/FIL booked to be away for 7 weeks over ds (and we'd been through recurrent miscarriages and it was to their holiday home so not a massive trip) due date.
He was born 5 weeks early, and then they were a pita about updates, hand wringing over not seeing him etc. But largely it was setting the pattern for the rest of his childhood that they just weren't really interested in him in any practical way

Surely you only need to read the endless posts on here to realise most people want to be home alone with their newborn and not have guests.

YABU.

Good on MIL for choosing to live her own life and prioritise herself.

I think you're getting a hard time with these responses. Of course MIL is entitled to go on holiday etc but I can understand why your husband is upset that she isn't more interested in her grandchild. Perhaps he could just express this to her and see what she says, maybe she is just enjoying her new relationship so much she hasn't really thought about it.

Hubby and Bubs? 🤮

It’s your baby, not hers. She’ll see you when she gets back.

There have been several threads where the new mother doesn't want visitors for a few weeks after the birth. Perhaps your MIL has read them.