MIL on holiday over baby due date

What is the problem?! She's having a lovely later independent life (which I wish for us all). She won't be one of those MILs demanding to watch you give birth, muscling in when you want to be bonding with baby. She'll visit when you're feeling better. Sounds ideal.

Mightily missing the point as so often happens on mumsnet.

I think this is an old thread anyway.

Oh for goodness sake, grow up and suck it up. Clearly, you're jealous they are having another holiday. What difference does it make, is she the midwife/doctor who was supposed to be delivering baby?She can see baby upon her return, what's the matter with you?

The baby was due in June, I guess its probably been resolved by now

Do you mean she purposefully wanted the dates so she could go away when baby was born?

You may not have the baby anyway on your due date. I went 7-12 days overdue with all 3 of mine. I'd be more concerned as to why she has distanced herself and it seems very deliberate to ask for the due date then book a holiday over the due date. I'd be asking myself what is going on with her and why. All seems a bit odd to me, does she not feel welcome and has done it to get a reaction and raise the issue of why. It doesn't add up to me, is her partner causing the distance? Rather than cause more distance at your end I think everyone should have an honest chat about what's really going on.

She's keeping out of the way. Good for her

Maybe the one about DH not wanting his SM invited to the birthday and OP thinking his mother should be prepared to socialise with the OW? I keep coming close to mixing them up.

You seem to be reading a different thread. This is about DH and Mil

I couldn't live with the curiosity. I'd have to just ask her "sorry, why did you ask for the due dates and book a holiday 5 days either side?" and wait for a response.

Seems obvious to me why. She's telegraphing that she wants to be completely unavailable to help in any capacity but can pretend it's just because she "can't" since she's on holiday.

I'd still want to hear it from the horse's mouth though.

Very hurtful.

The only thing to get is the OP’s narcissism thinking her and her child are the be all and end all.

I did wonder at first if MIL was trying to keep away due to Covid worries or something.. I see reading on that that's not the case.
I feel sorry for you, your husband, & his siblings, keeping the family close while she backs away from her children & grandchildren.
My first MIL sat outside the labour suite ALL day waiting for my firstborn to arrive, & it was lovely for me to know she was close, God Bless her.

I'm wondering if MIL & husband / Partner have talked & decided they want to do their own thing now? Which is their right, of course, just as it's yours not to be there for them when they're older & maybe need help..
Good luck with baby.

It is possible that mil spent her youth catering to her children, I know I did, and now she wants to enjoy her life while she’s still in good health.

Oh for heavens sake. If there was a major crisis, she may well fly straight back. We don’t know. Your family may not do this. That isn’t really relevant. Lots of people would and do 🙄

Well it's unusual to not want to be in the country when the baby is born, however the other more bizarre and hurtful issue is if they had wanted to be away they could have done that without being dickheads about it.

They could have asked "when's the due date?" and then said "oh no, we're on holiday at that time" and then went and booked the holiday, instead they literally asked because they specifically wanted to avoid being here AND then told them they'd done that.

It's not about the baby's life though, is it? It's about being there in case of issues, if DH needs a shoulder to lean on, or just wants to share the brilliant news of the arrival. It's a major life event, my family wouldn't dream of going away.

That doesn’t really matter. As people get older, there is a realisation that there is far more life behind them than ahead of them. This has been intensified by the worst of Covid times. You and your husband are rightly preoccupied with your own lives now. Your MIL is absolutely entitled to enjoy the rest of her life with her husband and ‘seize the day’! FFS she will only be away for the first few days of the baby’s life, if that. You are both being selfish and completely unreasonable!

Sorry, I think to do it deliberately is sending a message

As a mother of a son I would be looking forward to the birth of another grandchild and I would want to be around when it was born.

I don't think I'm that unusual

I’m really sorry but you having a baby isn’t the be all and end all of your MIL’s life. You need to get over your self importance. Also I’d have been glad if my MIL had been away 😂

I do think it's odd that she's done this without explaining her reasoning to your DH, especially since they are close. If she's have said she would feel too tempted to crowd you and bother you for a visit too early on that would be one thing. It sounds like it may be her husband's idea and does come across quite passive aggressive on her part.

Birth of a baby after a previous loss though? I wouldn't pointedly go abroad in those circumstances, I'd want to be near my son.

To be honest, I wouldnt care. In fact, I would rather both sets of grandparents were away over the due date -lol

I have a close family and I am close with my mum. Current boyfriend is close with his mum also. However, if I had another baby, I would want it to be just me, partner and DS for the first couple of weeks anyhow until we settle as a family.

My DSs granny, who is now my ex MIL decided to come to the hospital while I was giving birth. My ex H and my own mum were my birth partners and she knew this. She arrived and constantly rang/text ex H, pestering him and all the nurses to come in. I refused every time. Ex H took a huff with me. Ex MIL stayed at the hospital for hours until DS was born then tried to push herself into the delivery room (again, refused) and also onto the ward afterwards (again, refused). Her and ex H argued and huffed with me after giving birth that I did not want to see MIL in most vulnerable state.

However, my current partners mum is a nurse, and if partner was more comfortable with support for him, I would allow her in but I would prefer it just me and him.