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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex refusing to have DS overnight

34 replies

Pinacoladaqueen · 23/04/2024 18:59

ex has moved in with his brother following our separation. We have 3 kids he has agreed to have the oldest two overnight but not the youngest as there isn’t enough space.

Apologies if this sound selfish but I will never have a night off or a break until he gets a council property but that could take months/ years.

Am I just supposed to accept this for what it is?

I have made suggestions of setting the living room up for the oldest on a Saturday night (blow up bed) and youngest could sleep in his bed.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TrovkyPickler · 23/04/2024 19:33

I mean to be fair here would his brother be OK with having 3 extra kids?

He needs to find somewhere he can have his kids over.

Desperatelyneedabreak · 23/04/2024 19:33

Is a single man even going to get a council house? My ex has never had our children overnight not once and it's been 7 YEARS no unfortunately you can't force this, he has a 3 bed house but decided he would rather rent out all the rooms than have his kids sleep over so I haven't had a night off in 7 years. No there is no way to force it.

AGlinnerOfHope · 23/04/2024 19:32

Tell him not to be ridiculous.

OrangeSlices998 · 23/04/2024 19:32

Can he stay in your house and you go somewhere else, for one night a week?

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/04/2024 19:31

How old are the kids

But yes he should have all 3

How does the youngest feel knowing dad doesn't want him

Age depending the kids can sleep /share the bed and one on the floor

And you have the sofa

Notimeforaname · 23/04/2024 19:31

He could absolutely move them around and have thrle youngest. I'd say it's just that having them all will be too much like hard work for him so he just doesn't want to. How young is the youngest?..not that it actually matters.

Beezknees · 23/04/2024 19:28

YANBU, unfortunately a lot of men are like this and there's not a huge amount you can do if he refuses.

My ex was not interested and I had to raise DS by myself, very little family support and I probably had 1 or 2 nights off a year when my mum babysat, she worked full time so I didn't like asking and she never offered.

It's not nice and it's not fair but it is what it is.

beAsensible1 · 23/04/2024 19:12

Single men who are non resident parents usually take a very long time to house on the council. Depending on the area he might not get somewhere anytime soon or with enough room anyway.

does he have any other solution for this problem?

patchworkpal · 23/04/2024 19:11

Ask how long he proposes this arrangement goes on for as it's not fair on the youngest