Surgery for DS’s facial birthmark

*propranolol

Not exactly the same but my daughter had a large haemangioma on her face. and also her body.

we were offered treatment when she was 6 months old, because it was affecting her facial movements. We accepted and she was in hospital for 2 days for propanol treatment, which she stayed on for about another 6 months. The birthmark reduced overnight practically and now cannot be seen (unless she is tired)

just wanted to give solidarity as a fellow major facial birthmark mum

Not the same I realise as not on the face, but DD has large strawberry marks on her shoulder/arm (over most of one shoulder and halfway down to elbow). They were incredibly noticeable at first and we wondered about treatment but didn't do it as we could see they were (slowly) getting better and felt it was also suggesting to her that it was a bad thing to have it. It gradually faded / reduced in height. In her late teens, it now looks more like a slight rash and feels smooth to the touch. She got the occasional comment when she was a small child from other children, but more interest than rudeness. It doesn't bother her at all now, she happily wears strappy or strapless tops and just says it's part of her. Having said that, she's perhaps not been a typical teenager in that she doesn't wear make-up / take selfies / post on social media, but she makes lots of effort in what she wears and with skin and hair products, so it's not as if she doesn't care how she looks. So we're glad we did nothing, but that doesn't mean having the treatment is wrong.

Personally, I wouldn’t. The more that society homogenises in appearance, the harder it is for anyone to look different. I think we would all be happier and healthier to accept that differences are a good thing.

I’m sorry that you feel that way and that you were bullied. I think it very much depends on the severity of the mark. The OP made it sound like her child’s was not something that would be described as a ‘disfigurement’.

I has exactly the same thing. It faded when I was about five but as I got older - thirties - my skin I suppose got thinner and it started showing up when I was hot or cold or tired or excited. People used to comment mainly because it looked like I'd hurt myself. I had it lasered and it took less than 5 minutes. I would get it done because I assume any GA would be of very short duration - presumably because they don't want a small child moving about.

Being seen as different isn't always a negative thing....

This type of comment makes me really angry to be honest. I have a port wine stain on my face and was badly bullied at school. You would not believe what things have been said to me. It really affected my mental health growing up. My Mum mixed heaven and earth to get me private laser treatment before it was available on the NHS and it allowed me to live a normal life free from peoples comments.
Allowing someone to live with a disfigurement because to treat it ‘sends the wrong message’ can only be said by someone whose had zero experience of living with this type of thing.
OP the earlier the laser treatment is done the better the results are likely to be and your child won’t remember it.

Stork mark over top lip on my DC. Very visible as baby/toddler. Is now virtually invisible at 8 years.

Personally, I wouldn’t have considered GA for laser. Although would have for port stain/if it was mega visible.

Question: could it be a future option if teen without GA and assuming it bothers them?

Slightly different scenario but my son had a hemangioma on his face and my husband and I had to decide whether to treat it or leave it in the hope that it would disappear by itself.

In the end we decided to treat it, mainly because other people were commenting on it and we didn't want him to feel self conscious when he was old enough to understand.

I'm so glad we did have it treated, it was absolutely the right decision.

If your son's birthmark is considered a cosmetic problem and the NHS are willing to treat it, I would have thought that means the treatment itself is very safe. I very much doubt they'd risk his health for something purely cosmetic otherwise.

I would have the treatment.

We get my child's extensive facial port wine stain birthmark lasered every 6ish months under general anaesthetic on the NHS. We started when they were 3 (now 7) and it's made a huge difference to keeping the skin healthy and killing the blood vessels. My child only has a few days off school when they have it done, so they don't knock their face while it's at the most sensitive.
Personally, if my child's birthmark would've faded on its own I'd have just left it and taken a watch-and-wait approach, as loads of children have stork marks on their forehead, or even hemangiomas (strawberry marks) that fade by the time they are junior school aged. But it a personal decision. Treatment for the port wine stain was the right decision for us as they do grow/thicken and can cause hypertrophy/swelling if left untreated. Go with what you feel peace about.

My 9yo dd had/has a nasal bridge haemangioma. She has had many procedures over the years as although it was significantly shrunk with medication, it left behind fatty tissue that was removed by a rhinoplasty, and that left behind wrinkled, baggy skin and red capillaries.

The latest round of treatment was laser, 1 test spot under local anaesthetic and 2 surgeries under general anaesthetic. Unfortunately the pulsed dye laser didnt have much effect and as dd got older she became increasingly reluctant to go through treatment and now though there is still another (fragmented?) laser to try, dd doesn't want to try again as she hates the hospital environment, the needles, all of it. I can't say I blame her, having to hold the gas mask over her face as she resists and struggles is pretty unpleasant for me too.

Maybe when she hits puberty she will rethink further treatment, but I worry that she will age out of NHS treatment as I imagine over 18 it will be considered cosmetic unless proved to be severely detrimental to mental health.

It it horrible to have to make these type of decisions for your child and have the burden of wondering if you are doing the right thing. No advise, but sympathy, sorry.

I have another perspective - I am in my mid thirties and have a port wine stain on my face which my parents got treated several times when I was a toddler. I found it really traumatic and remember parts of it - biting an anaesthetist in particular! I had several general anaesthetics (5 or ) and now as the parent of a 3 year old (who is also different and stands out but for a different reason) I really can't understand their logic. My own child has had a GA for an MRI and I could never put him through several GAs for something that wasn't even essential.

Sorry that's probably not what you want to hear but I also saw you said the birthmark isn't that obvious too so if it were me I wouldn't go ahead.

I would get it done while he’s young and unlikely to remember. The NHS have offered treatment so they have a good reason for offering it.

My DS1 has a large port wine stain on his hip, which triggered alarm bells at school a few times over the years as they thought it was a big bruise! He went through a stage in early teens of being very self conscious about it (he’s a swimmer).

Had it been on his face I absolutely would have had it treated when he was young. Treatment should reduce/get rid of it which will minimise/get rid of potential teasing. Kids can be nasty beggars.

Personally, I would be concerned with what kind of message having it removed would send to your son.

Presumably you think he is beautiful and perfect just the way he is, but by opting to have it removed on his behalf (because he is not yet old enough to choose for himself) suggests otherwise.

I would be a bit sad if my parents changed something about my appearance, it suggests that it was ugly or needed changing, which based on your description does not seem the case.

Not judging, I can see you have his best interests at heart, just offering another perspective.

DD has a friend with a large port wine birthmark on one side of her face. She doesn't often cover it and no one is unkind about it - it is just 'her' - she is beautiful and it is part of her. But I realise not everyone can embrace things in that way.

DS was born with a far lesser mark on his forehead - it was quite noticeable as a toddler and even more so when he was sad or angry , but over time it faded and by the time he was about 10 it was invisible. I am attaching a picture so you can compare it to the intensity of your DS. If it is similar, I can assure you it has completely gone - not visible when he is cross / suntanned / cold - it's completely gone.

I was born with a port wine birth mark on my face. I had laser on it as a child. I was put under GA for the laser sessions (not sure why your DS would require 10 days off nursery?? I'm fairly sure I just went to nursery/school as normal). I didn't tolerate the GAs very well. I used to resist and get very upset, so in the end my parents decided to stop taking me for laser. I was never, ever bullied and it was barely mentioned by any other kids throughout my childhood to the point I pretty much forgot about it, even though it was/is noticable. I've had way more comments as an adult "what's happened to your face?" "Has someone punched you?" amongst other things. People say kids can be cruel, but honestly it has been older people who have upset me the most in my life with their comments. I have resumed laser treatment as an adult, because I've read that port wine stains can become raised and bumpy with age, and I don't want that. Though if your son doesn't have a port wine stain then that isn't really an issue. I do wish my parents had continued with my laser treatment as a child though. Although I understand why they didn't.

I have a facial disfigurement from something that happened to me as a child. I have always been conscious of it and in many ways it ruined my early adulthood. Kids are cruel but as a PP said, some adults are vile as well. If I had a magic wand to take mine away I would grab it with both hands. People who know me well say it’s part of me and they don’t notice it. But when I meet new people I’m very conscious. I don’t know if it’s worse being a girl with something ‘wrong’ with your face but I think it’s probably as bad for boys.

Sending much love to you and your little one. You sound like a wonderful Mummy to your little boy. ♥️

He had one bigger issue which the school dealt with immediately. When viewing schools I specifically asked about how they would deal with a birthmark comments situation and it definitely helped me rule out schools with the way they responded.

This was interesting to read-what sort of responses did schools give?

If you're being offered it I'd take it