Surgery for DS’s facial birthmark

I'd let him have the op. As he gets older, kids get worse ime. I had numerous ops as a child for similar and the bullying was still bad. I can't imagine my life if I didn't have the surgery.

This is possible.

We treated my son's facial hemangioma with propranolol when he was about 9 months old. It's practically invisible now.

Now when I look back at pictures of him as a baby when the mark was at its largest and most noticeable, I find it quite shocking. But I don't remember being particularly shocked by it at the time. It was just part of him, my beautiful baby.

The main reason we decided to treat it was because strangers commented on it a lot.

Also take into consideration having it done now may mean he can't go in the sun during summer time this year ? Also if there's a series of treatments from now until summer could be end up starting school with bruising being visible ?

In the nicest possible way you might not notice it as it is just part of him. I have several north marks on my face that I don’t see when I look in the mirror, I only “see” them if I cover them with makeup and then it’s abnormal as they are not there. He might have more stares and comments from kids. The GA will just be light enough to keep him still and pain free. I would do if. Friends waited too long for their kids corrective eye surgery and it affected her lifelong

My son was born with an issue with his eye. When he was young people pointed it out frequently. My friend knew a 17 year old who was born with the same thing. She had it surgically fixed at 17 and wished her parents had done it years before. We had our sons fixed when he was 8 or 9 under general. We are very glad it was done. I'm a teacher. I know children are very cruel at times.

I read there's a 1 in 200,000 chance of death under a GA. There are other side effects too. I think I'd really consider how noticeable it actually is and if it's fading id probably leave it.

Having thought about your situation I wonder if you'd benefit from some advice from GT Ormond Street Dermatology team? They have links with the UK charity 'Birthmark Support Group' and I wonder if it'd be worth your while getting a second opinion from someone there if you are undecided? The birthmark support group have a Facebook page that you can connect with people on.

When they treat port wine stain birthmarks the aim isn't purely psycho-social ('cosmetic')... it is also to slow the growth of the blood vessels, which are continuously growing at some rate or other and may cause blebs, granulated tissue, swelling, bleeding etc. The laser is also needed to prevent glaucoma developing from the close proximity of the birthmark to the eye, if it is in the region of the eye (therefore also preventing blindness).

A second clinical opinion might help you to make up your mind as it sounds like the reason you're uncertain is because you're going down a PWS treatment pathway for a birthmark that was misdiagnosed? Maybe see what a second doctor would say, by trying to get in touch with someone at GOSH through the birthmark support group.

Exactly this.

Have you asked that question?

I personally would rather focus on teaching my child to feel confident about himself, warts and all. Explain that everyone have flaws that could be used as a mean to tease by unkind children and in that case, the problem is with their parents not teaching them to accept people for who they are.

I would explain that it's ok for others to ask about it and for him to explain but that if anyone makes fun of him in an unkind way, to ignore them and tell the teacher.

If they are kind and tolerant themselves, they will have no issue making friends. Don't give him the idea that he should modify himself through a painful procedure that will need repeating but to that if he is kind, kind children will want to be friends with him.

It's a tough decision.

Have you had any advice from a dermatologist about whether there are any risks associated with not treating the birthmark; would it make his skin more vulnerable to sun damage for example or would there be a higher risk of developing skin cancer or anything like that?

If there were additional risks that could be reduced by having the laser treatment, that would decide it for me.

If it's purely cosmetic, I think it would depend on the risks and side effects of the procedure. If they were minimal I would be tempted to try it once and see how it goes. If DC finds it difficult for whatever reason then I wouldn't do it again.

I don’t know what I would do. it’s such a difficult decision with no right or wrong answer but I can understand your concerns. I would also worry about giving my child the message that we have to go through something difficult and painful in order to look a certain way, if that makes sense.

I can understand though your fears that ds might wish he’d had the treatment. Would the treatment still be available to him when older if he then decided he wanted it, if you declined for now? Or would it be more effective at a young age?

I had a birthmark on my eyelid as a child, it was purple and swollen, my parents decided not to have it removed and it completely disappeared on its own (I think maybe by age 8).

I also have a 4 year old DC who has a ‘spot’ on their face, I want to get it removed as soon as possible before it bothers them but the dermatologist said Its too young to have GA for the removal so we have to wait. It is only small but very noticeable, I don’t think it will go on its own. I also have fear of putting them through a GA for a superficial thing, I’m hoping it can be done under local instead in a couple of years.

Worst school said that children are very resilient and insinuated he just had to get used to unkind comments as he was probably already experiencing them... they got an ear full.

The school that we chose told us about the step by step process if it was persistent. They shared how they talk about differences, had books in the library to link to it. It is a faith school so they made links there. When the one incident happened the other student was spoken to immediately, communication between school and myself was immediate. It then happened again in front of me, I addressed it kindly. School then spoke to child again, and mum. School also borrowed my birthmark book and read it to his class.

I'm a teacher specialising in pastoral care so I had some high standards with my background and then his birthmark on top!

I have a strawberry birth mark on my jaw/cheek. I don't remember ever being bullied for it. Sometimes I got asked if I had hurt myself, and I would say 'no its my birth mark' and they would say 'oh, i never noticed it before' (just been there all my life 😂).

I ended up getting some laser surgery in my teens. Maybe it was a different kind, but I didn't have to go under GA, and I don't remember any pain at all. More itchy, once it started to heal. Anyway, I don't think I realised how bad it would look after the laser. I had major trypophobia! And the vain teenager in me just wanted to hide away until it had fully healed. That was it, I couldn't go back for my next course! So of course, no change to the birth mark was visible after just one course. Kind of regret going for the laser as the birth mark has really not had any negative impact on me before or after.

I have a birthmark that covers around 1/4 my face - it surrounds one of my eyes, and most of my forehead (it is darker underneath my eye than it is on my forehead). It's not red however, it is brown. It also affects my eyebrow colours (one eyebrow is my natural hair colour, and the other is black). it also affects a patch of hair, which is also black (the hair on top of the black patch covers this, though) - no dye will ever change this hair patch.

However, I also have an olive skin tone, so my mark does blend in better, and it has faded over the years (but it is still noticeable).

As a child, I was called 'Patch', and often asked (as an insult/jibe) who had given me a black eye (in fact, my DH and I were waiting at a bus stop once, and an elderly lady came up to me, glared at my DH, and asked me if I was okay. When I looked very confused, she pointed to my eye, I laughed it off, thanked her, and told her that it was a birthmark - she at least, meant well, unlike others who have used it as an insult).

However, the comments I received? They were from a very small number of people, and the comments weren't that common (I've never been relentlessly bullied due to my mark). I remember discussing it with a friend once, and she said, "Yeah, I noticed it the first time I ever met you. Now, I don't notice it at all, it's just you/your face."

As a teenager, my mum gave me the option to have it lasered (she was willing to take out a loan for it). I thought about it, and declined. Partly because I didn't want her getting into debt for it (but I will also admit that as a selfish teenager that was secondary to my main reason), but mostly because I pointed out to my mum that I wouldn't look like me anymore (in fact, I remember being quite upset that my mum suggested it, as I thought she was implying that I was ugly).

The truth is - I do have a rather large mark on my face, and two different coloured eyebrows, as well as a patch in my hair. But that's always been how I have looked. In the same way, I've always had a left thumb, and nobody is suggesting I remove that either! However, I do understand that it can give others more confidence to remove it etc (people need to make the right decision for them). Similarly, if my mum had decided to remove it for me, as a child, not having it would be part of me too. However, I'm glad this wasn't an option for her (as I believe if it had been available for me on the NHS, she would have done it) - I've got other medical issues that have had been in and out hospitals since childhood, I'm glad that a domestic issue on my face wasn't another thing for me to be in for,

@Cheepcheepcheep Your son’s hernia surgery was possibly like my son’s- ( hydrocele)
We were told it could be left til adulthood- but son ( now adult) says how glad he was to have had it done as a little child.
just a faint bramble scratch scar left-

Prince William had the same operation, too as a young child!

This is exactly what the hydrocele GP said - Son said he was bloody relieved to have had it done as a 2 yr old.

It’s a confidence thing.

If it’s “bad” enough to warrant NHS treatment they must obviously think his life will be improved by doing it.

They don’t offer things like this for fun.

Your son probably will be grateful to have had it treated as a young child rather than in teenaged years where self consciousness really can kick in .

@BeCalmFox I’d get it done, too.
My son had a hydrocele that the GP said could be left til adulthood, and son could remove it in f it bothered him-
But the thing was getting bigger, so we opted to have it removed - son was 2 yrs old-

Son is adult now and said thank goodness you did it when I was young!

He remembers the hospital- But in a nice way!

Marks on the face can be very upsetting to children and adults- if they can be lasered away, do it.

Teasing is horrible-and red marks will be noticed- why should he have to put up with it if they can be got rid of?

I know someone who had the lazer and it was painful and decided not to go back. So definitely ask about expected pain. This was a while ago so techniques may have improved