To expect dd to be able to see a female nurse/dr at the sexual health clinic

I’d we are doing the whole “I’ve had more experiences with gynaecologists than you” thing, then I think I’ve got you.

I’ve had 9 pregnancies, two of them ectopic Requiring lengthy treatment. I’ve had recurrent miscarriage investigation. I’ve been through a fertility clinic, as well as having two very complex pregnancies, one of which lead to a fairly serious medical diagnosis (for me). Both had c-sections.

Almost everyone was male, with the exception of my second ectopic and my second c section. There may have been female consultants for my more routine stuff too, but I distinctly remember most of the staff being male.

@KreedKafer again, irrelevant. The OP's daughter was attending a sexual health clinic. She's not you, going to this/that/the other appointment.
There aren't many 15 year olds who would feel entirely comfortable talking about sex with a man. A 15 year old we know NOTHING about. Happily she has been able to reschedule to a female, as is her right :)

I also thought this..

Yes, in my (fairly extensive) history of NHS gynaecologists, the majority of consultants were male. Most nursing staff were female. In fact, I only remember two female gynaecologists.

If a woman doesn’t want to speak to a male medical professional she should state that. It may be that she has to travel to a different clinic or wait longer for an appointment though. Not sure why that’s so controversial?

Doctors are doctors. I really don't think their sex makes a difference. There is a school of thought that says that female doctors can be more unsympathetic re gynae issues if they have personally never had problems with periods, pregnancy etc. I certainly met a very unpleasant female doctor at the Family Planning clinic when I was about 20, and I never went back.... always saw male GPs for contraception and smears from then on. It's all about the person, not about their sex.

Are most gynaecologists male?

Who said they were perverts? Most men aren't perverts. Many women still don't want to talk to them about their sexual health.

I used to work in a sexual health clinic and nobody would ever have been offended if you had requested a change of staff member! It wouldn't have been blinked twice at. Shame that you both had this experience because that's not the norm

He may have been a gynaecologist. Most gynaecologists are male. Not because they are perverts; because they are medical professionals.

It is completely expected for any clinic to be able to offer a chaperone on request - the CQC would look very dimly on a service which didn't do this.

She'd have the opportunity for a chaperone if she was being physically examined, I think.

It’s not even necessarily an indicator that someone is sexually active, although many 15 year olds are.

It’s not the 15 year olds attending a sexual health clinic we should worry about, it’s the ones not attending the clinic (but having sex anyway) that we should worry about.

Although the gender of the nurse is completely irrelevant.

Given that the majority of NHS staff are female and there are more female nurses than male ones I find it quite telling that the only medical staff member around to talk to a 15 year old girl about her sex life is a man. And a man who is OFFENDED that a female colleague is requested.

As for the PPs on here berating a sexual abuse survivor for deciding not to under go a medical procedure because of the lack of single sex care - shame on you all. It is the NHS at fault - not the patient.

YANBU OP.

@CheeryPye She might have been raped for all you know and be dealing with the physical aftermath.

She wouldn't be automatically assigned a female clinician at any other clinic relating to 'personal matters' either, though. It would certainly be in the OP's DD's best interests to get used to seeing male clinicians for 'personal matters', because if she ever needs to be seen by someone in obstetrics, gynaecology, internal ultrasound, breast clinics, GUM ,the more intimate branches of dermatology etc it's just as likely to be a man as it is a woman.

My gynaecologist is a man and so was the consultant I saw at a breast clinic recently.

I agree on the chaperone but that would usually be asked to the patient and as she’s underage he may have been trying to gauge the dynamics of her visit. Especially as he hasn’t seen her before.

We can only provide the staff that are available unfortunately. You can request but if there isn't any females working that shift then you'll have to rebook

We commonly have this in labour ward with husbands refusing male anaesthetists and male surgeons, we try our best to accomodate but it's often not possible as out of hours there's often only one obstetrician, there's often more than one anaesthetist working out of hours but if they aren't trained in obstetrics then unfortunately nothing we can do

When I worked in gp and at uni we were always advised we should see minors without their parents present (if male then female nurse chaperone) as its really common for kids to be scared to admit something in front of their parents (I remember seeing gynae at 17 with my mum in the room and it was awkward the many qs despite not being sexually active)... so yes asking to talk without a parent is normal and deemed best practice

That's irrelevant and, to be honest, just plain mean and judgemental.

I think you have done the right thing, especially as your daughter is under age.
I work in the NHS, it not unusual for women to request female doctors. I don't think the person should have irritated.

Better getting facts and support before something happens! Good on you for supporting her.

I think you know that you need to request that in the future. I don’t know you’d think it was standard practice, of course they have male staff as seems reasonable they’d have as many male patients as female. But that DD also needs to understand that it won’t always be possible, and a medical professional is a medical professional.

Why would it be standard practice?

If you want to see a female doctor or nurse, you need to specify that when you make the appointment, rather than just assuming there will be one available for you or that the clinic can read your mind re. your DD's preferences. If there's a reason that your DD didn't want to talk to a man, of course she doesn't have to explain herself or justify it, but it's for you and/or DD to manage when you make the appointment. An appointment with a same-sex practitioner isn't a default for any branch of medicine.

Personally, this wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest when I was a teenager. It wouldn't have struck me as being odd at all to talk to a male doctor about stuff like periods and contraception. But my mum never minded seeing male doctors either, so it's what I grew up with.

I can see why the doctor seemed irritated - the clinics are really stretched and an appointment was wasted because you made an assumption.

@Bibpot I was sexually assaulted by a male nurse. I was 54 and I couldn't quite believe what was happening, I thought I was imagining it and it took me a while to stop him. I always ask to see a female nurse/doctor now, it never bothered me in the past, I was happy to see anyone. I also take a chaperone in with me when possible. I'm glad your daughter has got you to accompany her and speak up for her. There is no shame in wanting to see a health care professional of the same sex. At 54 I was able to recover from my assault quickly, I was able to rationalise it, saw him for what he was, a disgusting pervert and knew I was in no way to blame. If I'd been younger I don't think I'd have coped the same.

To be fair I'd be more concerned in finding out why a 15 year old child is having repeat visits to a sexual health clinic.