To expect dd to be able to see a female nurse/dr at the sexual health clinic

Well I don’t live in the south east so you aren’t really disproving my point …

Wouldn't say that's the case in the south east. Its about 75% female 25% male round here

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair
"Mumsnet is weird about people having the right to request to see a HCP of a particular sex."

Because cool girls like men best.

I would have been taken aback by that and as a teen, mortified. It's good that you spoke up for your daughter rather than taken the 'suck it up, princess' approach of some on here.

And it's not just about feeling uncomfortable. You only have to look at the US Gymnastics scandal and the many male doctors struck off to insist on a female doctor for a vulnerable teen who may not feel able to speak up for herself. You protected her. And you'll know next time to ask for a woman. No big deal and no, you're not being unreasonable in the slightest.

Isn't it a massive safeguarding fail for a doctor/nurse of one sex to be alone in a room with an under 18 of the opposite sex? Why wasn't a chaperone offered?

As both a dinner lady and a Scouting volunteer, I was told never to be alone with a young person, for both mine and their protection.

Mumsnet is weird about people having the right to request to see a HCP of a particular sex. I don't know why. In an ideal world it wouldn't matter, but we're not living there, and the reality is people have all sorts of reasons for making this choice and they shouldn't be sneered at about it.

Your daughter is BU to not want to see a male Dr or nurse, but as you've learnt it's best to request it when making the appointment.

You ought to have requested a female, though I can understand why you may think a 15 y/o girl making an appointment might make the person taking the booking think "hmm, better make sure it's with a woman".

I'm an adult, and have no problem with male or female doctors in these circumstances .

Back when I was 15 though, I'd have run for the fucking hills if it were a male - not that I had the kind of mum to happily take me to a sexual health clinic - lucky DD. :)

I hope (and I mean this nicely) that you imagined the doctor/nurse's offense, because he really should know better.

Yabu to think they can magic up a female doctor with zero notice.
You should have said at the time of booking.

Why? Surely it relates to his manners and behaviour, being a professional has no influence on those characteristics.

Who cares !!!!!!!

Lucky for you I dont and i disagree its a absurd word. He was known to be a gentleman in his working environment

Our GP surgery has a sign where you let them know you're there saying if you want a chaperone let the receptionist know. That's in a surgery without male gp's ( well one part time penshioner).

And "gentleman" is not the opposite of "bitch".

@Wexone Yes I do have a problem with "gentleman". It's an absurd word to use about a professional.

She absolutely should be able to see a female doctor, but like you've now realised, it does need to be requested. If an exam was being performed, she should have been offered the opportunity for a chaperone (I always have, even when seeing a female provider), but I can see that may not be the case if it's just a conversation about birth control with no exam.

I work in sexual health though and the service is so, so pressured. It's very hard just to even get a face-to-face appointment and especially for something like birth control, which can be discussed over the phone or could (probably should!) be handled by a GP. It doesn't mean that the clinic doesn't want to respect your wishes and provide the best service. It's just that they have so many people who need those appointments for quite serious needs and staff are very stretched as a lot of SHS has been de-funded in recent commissioning changes.

This is really nothing to do with sex/gender (which people seem to love to make it about 🙄). It is purely the desperate issues with staffing facing sexual health, but all primary care services in the current NHS.

Yanbu, for an under 18 surely it should be standard to have a female practitioner for female patients.

An adult can consent to a male practitioner but it seems just common sense not to allow adult males to discuss sex or do examinations with female children.
Most would hopefully be fine but statistically some won't be and allowing access to children in that way is likely to attract more predators.

Where I am (not nhs) the chaperone is automatic and is there as much for the male staff member as for the patient.

They spend loads of money on accessibility for masses of other languages and interpreters. Let a female have a female doctor!

She is entitled to want to see a female doctor if she wants to. Enough of all this nonsense about men being as well qualified etc. That is not the issue.

Do you have an issue to that fact i felt he was also a gentleman - i probably because he was an older generation and honestly i was so bloody delighted to have someone acknowledge my pain after dealing with the female bitch and to add to your words UNPROEFSSIONAL! I would expect professional but he actually went above and beyond

@Wexone I think the word you were looking for is "professional".

treated me with respect and kindness unlike the female bitch I had before

I'm afraid that last comment shows very little understanding of the impact that rape and sexual assault have and the potential trauma they may experience by having a male doctor.

@Wexone "my second gynaecologist was a man and he was a gentleman"

What does this mean?

My gp provides sexual health services as well and there's a sign stating you can request a chaperone, male or female but as there's only one dr in clinic at a time plus a nurse, if you want a different sex tough