Partner going on holiday with sister

He doesn’t ‘jump’, he says yes! If my sibling offered me a trip somewhere lovely, and there was nothing in the diary, I’d say yes without hesitation too!

I don't know why so many people think their partner is their property.

TLDR wah wah wah someone’s having a better holiday than me

If 'her little brother' has grown up and left home, lives with a partner, maybe it is time for her to find some friends to go on holiday with? Surely she must have more than just a substantially younger sibling in her life, even if no partner.

Many on here are NC with family and/or emphasise 'our own little family'. Close relationships with siblings are likely foreign to them. Therefore, the sister must be weird and have ulterior motives.

Some horrible motives being attached to his sister here without any evidence except imagination.

A sister who misses living with her little brother and doesn't have anyone to go on holiday with. My interpretation is that she books trips she wants to do and then pays for him. How anyone can look at that family dynamic and see something that must be resented and stopped is beyond me.

"who picked up on the bald fact of this yearly jolly establishing itself once the younger sibling left home (to live with OP in case you missed that too)"

Yes, because they no longer lived under the same roof so established this annual ritual. It's one weekend a year.

which one

You might be right, @Frangipanyoul8r . Perhaps his sister only feels comfortable with her family, hence not being friendly towards the OP.

If dp told me I was weird for going on holiday with my sister he wouldn't be my dp for long.

Bloody mn. Why are some pp fuelling this unnecessary drama.

@SOxon I think you need to edit your post as it doesn't make any sense!

has it not occurred to you that perhaps the great trips are a deliberate means
of whatever reasoning a sister 14 years older than her brother has, of a prior
call on his time, attentions, sibling allegiance

who picked up on the bald fact of this yearly jolly establishing itself once the younger sibling left home (to live with OP in case you missed that too)

OP said they have a few days away together. How is this a "big fancy blow out holiday"?
You can't seriously expect the sister to want to go away with her brother and his girlfriend and pay for that.

I have four grown up children who are, and have always been, incredibly close. They also go on holiday together. I love that their relationship is so close. I am not aware of their partners resenting it, but I would really judge them for it if they did. Having close sibling relationships does not mean that your partner is not your priority does it? Just as parents don't have a finite pot of love for their children, and can love the second as much as the first, so we can all have several healthy important relationships.

It sounds as if his sister doesn't have anyone to go on holiday with, so she asks and pays for him. How lovely that his big sister is able to give him those experiences.

You do sound jealous. You wouldn't care as much if it was a snowboarding trip with his brothers.

These trips are usually pretty extravagant and I can't help but feel that as my partner we should be experiencing these things together

But you said his sister pays for their trips, so why should you experience them with him? If you can afford extravagant trips for you and DH as a couple, then book one. If you can’t, that’s neither your DH’s fault nor his sister’s. He isn’t going away with his sister at the expense of you as a couple and she isn’t stopping him from having similar trips with you.

To be honest, your post makes it sound like you’re quite jealous of their relationship and possessive over your DH - but I’m sure that’s not actually a conscious thing on your part. You mention that you aren’t close to any siblings yourself so do you think there’s an element of envy that he has that kind of comfortable sibling bond? She is his sister and it’s not weird for siblings to want to spend time together.

He was still living at home for the first five years of their relationship. Lots of things aren't conventional!

It may not be a conventional relationship but if she’s “very successful” and living at home then she doesn’t sound very conventional herself. Have you considered the fact she doesn’t have friends and lives at home as a single adult a sign she may be neurodiverse? Sometimes when adults struggle to make friends, then family relationships become intensely important.

I would find this odd. Daily contact between adult siblings is OTT and using a sibling as a sounding board and not your partner, also odd. Going away for a few days with just a sibling, odd in my circles, but probably the least odd bit here, although ...

Who pays for the trips? How do they decide on dates etc? It all seems to be done without consideration for OP and whether she might have made other plans. His lack of input into their own holiday is not great. It does make me wonder if the sister deliberately picked those dates, knowing it would interfere with OP's plans.

you and other similar comments are totally missing the point,

blathering on brilliant ! I commend you on your astute comprehension skills
and ability to readbetweenthelines

YANBU

I think going on a trip with siblings is fine. However I would have an issue with him going on a big blow out trip every year. It does take away from your holidays together to know that his biggest and best holiday every year will be a treat from his sister, where you are never going to be included.

I'd think this would be fine every few years, or if they invited you but you paid for yourself and agreed to have some time on your own at the spa so they could have some brother/sister time.

It would be less of an issue if they were just having a week hiking in the UK somewhere or even a bog standard sun holiday. It's not even that it's with his sister - I'd be annoyed if my DP went on a blow out holiday every year with a mate, even if it was paid for by the mate. If it's someplace you want to go is he really going to want to go again? Or even if he does it's not quite the same as experiencing it together the first time.

Again, every 3-4 years - fine, smaller holidays yearly - fine. Big fancy blow out holidays every year, always overshadowing your holidays together - not fine.

"emotional affair" 😂
Oh give over. This can't be real.

You sound quite possessive and a bit controlling.

@SweetFemaleAttitude I personally don’t think that, my DH has close relationships with his siblings and sees them regularly.

This particular sister does sound abit odd to me, but not a perv!

my husband I mean before you all accuse me of incest 😂