Partner going on holiday with sister

When you are single with few friends (or your friends all have families and only want to holiday with them), i think holidays can be really difficult. Holidaying alone is not for everyone and if she has no friends i suspect she would not enjoy group holidays with strangers. I have a friend in this position and she loves travelling and does holiday on her own if that is the only option, but she is much happier when she has someone to travel with. She is very happy now that her friends' children are mainly older and they are on for the odd weekend (or sometimes week) away with her.
Your DP's DS may have no-one else to go to Italy etc with so i think he is actually doing a really nice thing keeping her company.

Overall I would not be annoyed about the fact he holidays with her but i suspect i may be a little annoyed if he went away with her so much that he had little annual leave left to holiday with me or if he had already committed to going away the same dates with you or possibly if there is somewhere special you had talked about going together that would not be the same if he had already been.

I go away with my sister every year & I'd be mightily pissed off if anyone said they didn't like it. You're healous, whereas you should be pleased that they make time for each other. A sibling relationship is the closest blood relationship you can have.

Eh?

I think posters are very overly sentimental and naive about this brother/sister bond. If she were not a relative I think people would see what is fairly obvious which is that the brother and sister are having an “emotional affair” (in scare quotes because it is a bit shocking to say it I suppose). As between siblings its also called covert incest.

Fucking hell, this place is mad sometimes.

5128 you read that wrong.

I inferred that from OP's paranoia, not mine. My guess was OP is thinking along those lines, which is batshit ofc.

The types of trips she chooses, European Cruises, Paris, Italy - in my opinion make me feel uncomfortable.

Is that because you've swallowed the media hype that these places are especially romantic or something? I mean, if so, that's on you.

You need help if that's what you've came up with, you really do.

That's a leap. A lonely woman wants a holiday with one of the only people she actually knows, and a guy wants an all expenses paid trip to somewhere extravagant with his doting older sister. I think the motives of both can be understood easily enough without scraping around in the gutter looking for a perverted sexual angle to it.

I find it a bit odd they don't include you. Would you go if they did? I think I'd just say, I like the sound of xyz, I'll come along too, if thats ok. You can pay your share if thats an issue, but you'll be in his room anyway so the only additional cost would be your transport.
I wouldn't go if my husband was going away with his sister- not my cup of tea and it wouldn't bother me if he wanted to do that- but you do seem to feel somewhat left out.
Could you plan something fun to do with your own family on the weekend they go, so you're not dwelling on it?

I think you're U to try to stop something that was in place before you met, and is objectively 'above board'. It's not like it's a female friend who threatens you, or that he is spending money and leaving himself short to do things with you or pay his way. The only possible loss to you is a couple of days leave he might otherwise have spent with you. However, the point it, he doesn't want to do that, he wants to do the trip with his sister. Personally I think its nice and if the woman is lonely it's mean to begrudge her his time.

Yeah I got that er... incestuous vibe. Though OP, that can happen anywhere you know.

God, you must be exhausting. Do you require a separate declaration of intent to relegate all your DH's relatives and friends in favour of you, or can he just make a general declaration?

It sounds like she does see him as a best friend as well as a brother. How do you get along with her? Would it help if you invited her to drinks or something with you and your bf? If you knew her better you might feel less left out or threatened.
He should be helping organise the trip you're planning together. He seems quite lazy as his sister obviously plans everything for their trips. Make it plain your not going to be doing all the work!
If the issue is you feel like he respects his female family members more than he does you, then there's a deeper problem that needs to be addressed. But that wouldn't be the fault of his sister. If you were to criticise her too directly it might backfire and he'll get defensive?

Yes op, you're right. Upon meeting you he should sack off all his female relatives declaring "she is the home of all my needs!!"

How DARE he continue to have a relationship with his family.

I hope you also convince him to dump all his friends too.

OP, just wondering if they are full blood relations or are they step siblings and you feel something more is going on?

Isn't prepared to put her first 🤣 heaven forbid anyone goes away three days without their partner with a family member. Would be saying all this nonsense if it was two sisters going away and a husband posting, I think not.

Then without warning, he puts in our joint diary he is going away with his sister. Which happened to be the exact dates I was also looking at.

But you actually had nothing booked in for those dates, that you have now decided were the ones you wanted.

Is Center Parcs out?

YABU
He has a good relationship with his sister and they travel together - nice to be close to family.
She pays for him because she has nobody else that shes comfortable travelling with (it seems) - very generous of her.
You're left out - what do you want? To go along with him and his sister so you're not left out? For him go away with you instead and sack off his sister?
He puts confirmed away dates on a calendar, and you were "looking at" those dates - just looking or booked? Right, just looking.
You feel like he doesn't need a partner in his life because he has his mum and his sister - the exact people who he will still have when partners come and go.

Never do this with someone who doesn’t see you as their main priority and your relationship as his primary loyalty.
People are allowed love more than one person in their life! I have brothers and sisters but myself and asd bro are closer/into the same things. I adore dh even more that eg if a big movie is coming up in the cinemas I’ll go with my brother before/ instead of him or the kids, or there’s times I’ll drive over for a tv night in or something. Are you meant to ditch family when you get with someone?

OP I'm genuinely curious, what is it about those destinations that bother you? They're standard places to travel to imo.

it can be hard to have the holidays you want as a single person - a sibling you're close to seems an ideal holiday companion.
The relationship with OP may be bad for other reasons, but it's not because he goes to Paris with his sister.

Ah, posters wilfully ignoring what you have written. Love it.
Look @AnonymousB95 , you are not this man's priority. Please value yourself more. If you want children, nope. Won't work.
Me and my OH are both close to our families but we prioritise each other and our children.
I'm sure if you told us every detail regarding their dynamic and how you fit in to it then it would be obvious. However, amongst the posters just blathering on about you being jealous there are posters capable of reading what you have already written and getting it.
Don't cling on to someone who isn't prepared to put you first. I get the impression this yearly holiday is the least of your worries.

Agree.

I go on solo trips, have gone without DH with my family several times. It is not weird to go on trips without your partner. All it takes is a conversation and sorted.

As a pp stated, I wonder if OP would feel the same way if it was him going away with a brother instead of a sister.

You grey rock people you can’t avoid who are toxic. If you have a toxic or narcissistic partner there’s no point in grey rocking- you bin them. To bin someone over a mini break with a sibling would be crazy.