Do you know why you are struggling

I think she said 2 adults, 2 teens and a student - so 5 people. It’s a lot of money, but students have load of free time and they eat a lot! When mine comes home for the holidays I’m shocked at how much food he eats!

It's not that hard to understand. It's housing and childcare. We are not struggling but if we were mortgage free like you we'd have an extra £15k a year to save or spend on holidays.

£800 a month on food for four people? Do you live on caviar and takeaways?

What a bizarre post…do you know why you are struggling? Yes I presume people know why they are struggling 🤦🏻‍♀️ You really can’t work out what people might be struggling with?

Our household income is about £3200 per month net, have no debts, no car payments etc. and we go on one caravan holiday for a week every year and we are living pay cheque to pay cheque. It all goes on mortgage, utilities and food. All of it. We don't even have any childcare to pay for (I am part time to get around that)

OP it’s not diffiuclt to see why your son and his wife are comfortable. They live in social housing, with your daughter-in-law having stayed in her family home, and presumably your son going straight from his family home to the marital home? So neither of them have ever had to pay private rent or a mortgage. So their housing costs will have been a fraction of those for most people, who often privately rent for a while, before getting a mortgage.

They get free child care, from you.

They have a decent income £44,000, with minimal outgoings, which is a lot of money. And they get some benefits on top.

The cost of housing and childcare is extortionate these days.

Where we live (Liverpool) a 3 bed house costs £350,000. If you’re lucky enough to have been able to save a 10% deposit, a mortgage for £315,000 at the current rates of 5.8%
over 30 years costs £1900 a month. That is a huge chunk of money to pay out every month. Rent prices are similar £1500-£1800
for a 3 bed. Even a 2 bed flat costs £250,000 and there are hardly any flats unless you live in the city centre.

Unless you live in a deprived area house prices are pretty much consistent across the city. We can’t move to a cheaper city/town as we rely on family for care.

Our gas and electric for 2 adults is £230 a month on British Gas standard tariff.

Our food is £500 a month - we eat healthy unprocessed foods, 3 meals plus 2 snacks a day around 1800 kcals, try to have our 5 a day, oily fish once a week, nuts and seeds for nutrition. So we are not eating excessively.

Our bills, food and petrol cost £3,000 a month without any debt and any children (we are expecting). I expect our monthly expenditure to increase by another £1,200 to cover our costs of having one child (£900 for childcare and £300 for food, nappies etc). So that’s £4,200 a month for essentials. There’s not much left from our salaries after that.

I think the ridiculous increases in everything (utility bills, transport, council tax, food) and the fact that salaries are not keeping up is the issue.

Also the fact that I have health issues.

Thank you. I appreciate the reply!

I would love to reduce my hours too, but it feels a long way off 🥲

We're talking about different things here, if you live in an area with low wealth like OP, you'll struggle to find a job as there'll be fewer but if you get one you can afford to live more easily.
In wealthier areas you'll more easily find a job but the cost of living is higher (and can be much, much higher). As people can't just pull jobs out the cracks of their arses, more of them end up in wealthier and much more expensive areas.

@MissMoonshine you’re right, retire is a bit extreme! I could easily work the hours OP is on, and have money spare, is what I meant. To me that is genuinely what retirement would seem like though, as I work a lot at the moment 😂 I do have a pension and hopefully inheritance but I expect I would still have a one or two day a week job if I could.

Yes, the squeezed middle.... and being perpetually just there :(

We're paying £15k a year in childcare (one child), I'm sure you or your son would be struggling if they were paying that.

Every time someone points out things your son or you are not paying for, your response is "they're low earners, the state pays for that". Have you genuinely never heard of the concept of the squeezed middle? Those who earn a bit more than you or your son so don't qualify for assistance, but not (for example) so much more that it covers the entirety of a childcare bill or children's living expenses or mortgage or private rent. Giving them less money than you or your son.

We used to have about £700 disposable cash per month a few years ago which was enough for us to have a nice life and save for 1 holiday a year and be able to afford our dd's hobby.

But our mortgage has gone up by £250, electricity by £100, food about £100 a month not to mention all the insurances, oil, petrol etc. we now often find ourselves at the end of the month with nothing. Our dd is a teen so no more childcare etc, if that were the case we'd be minus each month.

I agree with the sentiment of your post, but the math ain't mathing here.

Maybe you have some missing details, are very very young, have a high-earning partner also, or a load of pension/savings already, expect inheritance. Or perhaps there is some hyperbole in your post. But I'm not sure how a salary of even £150,000 could allow someone to retire at 40, even with £240,000 equity in your house, and without a large mortgage or private school fees.

Imagine you're 30 and you save £60,000 in a pension for 10 years, that isn't enough to live on for a family for the next 40-50 years, even with interest and 4% drawdown and no mortgage. I'm genuinely interested to learn more, as I'm interested in early retirement and maximising pension savings.

*I'm assuming you're in your late 20s- early 30s, and don't earn more than £150k because you didn't say you earn 3x their household salary.

How did your son end up in a HA home? There's not a chance that we could get one in very similar circumstances. How do two people on a decent income get benefits and a HA home?

@Georginana i earn over double what you and your husband earn. I have equity exceeding 250k but still have a large mortgage. I struggle to get to the end of the month as school fees are 24k a year and mortgage is 900 a month.

However, I want to live in a big house and hope it will go up in value. I also want my dc to go to private school. I’m well aware that I’ve made expensive choices and that’s why I have to watch what I spend. If I downsized and stopped paying fees I could probably retire by 40! And I do think about it! I think you’ve actually been very sensible and made sure you can enjoy life - it goes to show that what you earn is never really the marker of what makes a good lifestyle, it’s how you’ve set up your life.

They also get the 85% help too. They have it made.

For most people struggling the biggest factors are rent/mortgage driven by extortionate house price rises and the general cost of living. In the south west wages are fairly low but house prices are similar to many parts of the south east. The difference is in the south east people have access to London wages. If you are lucky enough to be able to get a ha property like your son then thats great but they are few and far between so many people are paying huge rents in the private market. Interest rates have gone up for mortgages and house prices have too.

How is your son getting UC at those wages, OP? Especially in a HA home. DH is on 30k and I'm on 15k, our mortgage goes up from £1100 to £1600 next month (3 bed terrace in SE) and we have 2 DC, one who doesn't get any funded nursery hours yet. But the benefits calculator says we're not entitled to any UC.
We don't go on holiday, everyone except DH (who needs to look half decent for work) only ever buys second hand clothes. We don't eat out or get takeaways. It's crippling.