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Original poster

To consider a bigger rental flat when DH is unemployed?

88 replies

leftorrightnow · 23/04/2024 11:22

This is a tricky situation and lots of emotions involved, so please be gentle!

  • We live in a two bed flat with two kids, 7 and 9 years old, they share a room, this room is also DH's home office
  • The flat is rental, we love the area and it's near my job and the kids' school which is a great school where we'd like them to stay and they are thriving there
  • The flat, however, has glass doors into the living room from the kids' room, so after they've gone to bed and we have closed those doors, we have to be very quiet in the living room and can't speak in more than hushed tones, can't watch a film etc..
  • DD, who is 9, is begging for her own room consistently and is also introvert and needs her space
  • We had been planning to get a mortgage this after the summer last year but in September, DH lost his job due to a crisis in his industry, which is still ongoing, with high levels of unemployment globally. Currently the outlook for his reemployment is uncertain (he is doing all he can, don't want to overload the post with details on this..)
  • My job situation is stable and my job is well-paid enough that we can with no problems stay in this flat, on my income and his unemployment support, which he is guaranteed for two years (17 months more from now). We can even still have the occasional meal out and are going on holiday this year, and have not touched our savings yet.
  • I am considering looking for another rental in our area with one more room and a rent increase of approx. GBP 200-300 per month. On our current income we can manage that, just would have to cut back a bit on 'fun' spending like new clothes and meals out and holidays, but not to the extent of cutting it all, just being a bit more careful.
  • But is this a bad move, given that A) getting a mortgage would be better in the long run, and we would be able to get that (a bit further out though) once DH is hopefully employed again - but when will this be we don't know B) increasing expenses when one person is unemployed seems irresponsible, isn't it C) the loss of deposit (it always happens, right??) would then be times two, and the other costs associated with moving are also to be considered.
  • BUT: I feel so bad not being able to provide the kids each their room, I'm being driven mad by the lack of privacy for DH and I, and every time someone comes around I feel a bit embarrassed about the small space and the kids sharing a room and with DH's computer in there too (I know this last pint is so superficial, but had to mention it).

What would you all do?

OP posts:
Janetime · 23/04/2024 11:49

Personally I’d stay put until he is employed.

Original poster
leftorrightnow · 23/04/2024 11:46

Haydenn · 23/04/2024 11:43

I’d stay in that flat, look at swapping rooms so you have more of a living room suite and put the kids in the other room.

Your husband needs to find some work until his industry picks up. Even if it’s very low level/menial. The way you describe your savings sounds like you don’t have a huge cushion should something else crop up.

He wouldn't be making more than unemployment support in a manual labour role, unemployment support in this country is very good for the first two years if you have private unemployment insurance, which is where he gets the support from, not state funded.

OP posts:
lateatwork · 23/04/2024 11:45

Kids get room each. You sleep in lounge. Younger kid gets dad's desk in their room.

Once hubby finds job, look to buy or rent a bigger place.

Hubby could also work for co-working place (which is cheaper than moving....) or library etc Depends if his stuff is portable - IE can do most without dual screens etc

Original poster
leftorrightnow · 23/04/2024 11:44

PickledPurplePickle · 23/04/2024 11:37

Swap the house around

Why can't you have the bedroom with the glass doors to the lounge and the children have the other room?

Does your husband have to work in the country you are in? It will take him a long time to get fluent. Can't he do some work remotely in English?

He has been working mainly remotely since we moved here (has had some local gigs but his industry isn't wel-developed here, we moved here for my job and as I have family here - note - I am not expatriated here, just found a good job here)
but the issue is his industry is in crisis globally. Every job post has an overload of applicants, he is applying to them all, but so far no luck, and this means the crisis in his industry may also last for years and the outlook is uncertain, which is why he is trying to move into an adjacent industry, but even that is hard, safe of completely retraining, there ins't a lot more to do right now...and retraining would mean years of very low income as he retrains, whereas his industry is well paid when he is working.

Yes have thought of switching the room around, but currently we keep the glass doors open during the day as it makes the whole space feel bigger and works really well with the kids using the whole space (living room and play room), and obvs, we would not be doing this if that was our bedroom...but may reconsider..

OP posts:
Haydenn · 23/04/2024 11:43

I’d stay in that flat, look at swapping rooms so you have more of a living room suite and put the kids in the other room.

Your husband needs to find some work until his industry picks up. Even if it’s very low level/menial. The way you describe your savings sounds like you don’t have a huge cushion should something else crop up.

mumda · 23/04/2024 11:38

Can parents swap room with the kids? Giving the kids the quieter bedroom would help you relax more.

Original poster
leftorrightnow · 23/04/2024 11:38

fussygalore118 · 23/04/2024 11:34

Honestly I'd move.
You can afford it without touching savings. While your husband may find it hard to get a job in his current field can he explore other areas( or if he has protected income for 17mths - is that right) could he use the time to retrain / gain wide skills?

Sorry, wasn't clear on that point, we would have to use savings to move, would need if for the new deposit. We would likely loose the whole deposit for this flat as we lived here or five years and there is a lot of wear and tear which the tenant is liable for in this country.

Meant in our current situation we haven't touched our savings.

OP posts:
PickledPurplePickle · 23/04/2024 11:37

Swap the house around

Why can't you have the bedroom with the glass doors to the lounge and the children have the other room?

Does your husband have to work in the country you are in? It will take him a long time to get fluent. Can't he do some work remotely in English?

Hoppinggreen · 23/04/2024 11:35

With a Husband who isnt fluent enough in the local language to get a job easily I wouldnt get a mortgage or increase my rent.

fussygalore118 · 23/04/2024 11:34

Doh sorry saw your post after I posted!

fussygalore118 · 23/04/2024 11:34

Honestly I'd move.
You can afford it without touching savings. While your husband may find it hard to get a job in his current field can he explore other areas( or if he has protected income for 17mths - is that right) could he use the time to retrain / gain wide skills?

Original poster
leftorrightnow · 23/04/2024 11:31

Catza · 23/04/2024 11:26

I'd stay put. Kids may want a room each but this is not essential and not realistic for many families. They don't understand the financial implications of making it happen and may not be massively happy with a more frugal lifestyle as a result of you making a move.
I would only really consider it if I had substantial savings and if DH had the next employment lined up. If there is a crisis in his industry, what about other employment opportunities? I feel like he maybe needs to be a bit more proactive and think outside the box. Also, why does he need an office if he is not in work?

He is thinking out of the box all he can (was expecting this question to come up, but did not want to make the initial post too long) but there are other challenges in that we live in a European country, we relocated here five years ago, and plan to stay, I speak the language but he doesn't.

He is learning but is not yet fluent enough to get a job where local language fluency is needed. I am pushing him to focus on the language learning now as well, so far he has been focusing on learning new skills within his area, (he is in an IT/creative field, so he has been learning new programmes which can help him get work in related fields), and is currently trying to get an internship withing this adjacent industry.

He needs the office because he is using the computer setup all day to learn the new programmes.

OP posts:
Catza · 23/04/2024 11:26

I'd stay put. Kids may want a room each but this is not essential and not realistic for many families. They don't understand the financial implications of making it happen and may not be massively happy with a more frugal lifestyle as a result of you making a move.
I would only really consider it if I had substantial savings and if DH had the next employment lined up. If there is a crisis in his industry, what about other employment opportunities? I feel like he maybe needs to be a bit more proactive and think outside the box. Also, why does he need an office if he is not in work?