To be p*ssed off DP has a pointless 30m call with a female work colleague every day?

You wouldn’t be posting if you felt secure in your relationship, so the population is bound to be skewed. I guess people post on mn because it feels a safe space, somewhere you can air your thoughts and get opinion on things you wouldn’t necessarily want to discuss in real life.

Both extremes can be true of course.

Really? MN has always struck me as the opposite. Filled with incredibly insecure people who seem to pend their lives warding off the green-eyed monster and see the slightest thing as a sign of an affair.

I don’t understand the people on here who don’t see the red flags. Chatting for half an hour a day? Reminds him of ex-wife? Told the story of being called a ‘gentleman’? Of COURSE he’s interested n his colleague!

I’m sorry but I find this inappropriate. I’m sure it’s all innocent but IMO this is too much. There should be no need to schedule a “chat” unless working on something together. I would need to bring it up and keep an eye on his phone , is he then calling and texting outside work hours and is it even about work? Your gut is telling you some thing do not pass this off. If it was my husband I’d bring to his attention that’s a lot of time on someone and unsure her relationship status she may get the idea your husband fancies her. 3 red flags, booked calls when not working together (projects ect), meeting at the pub moving handbag and implied his a gentleman, women similar to ex wife. Why was the comment even made in comparison to ex wife? No from me. If I was this other women I’d be feeling special.

Mumsnet is a very naive place, with some awesome ladies. Be careful about advice from here, to put it bluntly, they hold men on a pedestal (which they don’t deserve)

Btw, don’t let people gaslight you on here. If your gut it telling you something, try not to obsess over it, let him trip himself up (which he will)

You could be insecure, but that insecurity sometimes comes from being in a toxic relationship in the first place tbh.

Sorry but it sounds shady to me. By mentioning his ex wife and this woman he is triangulating, he perhaps wants you to feel insecure.

That’s a red flag to me, biiig time, along with having what looks like an emotional affair in plain site.

And even if his intentions are good, both he/she should know better. People can say this won’t lead anywhere, bullshit. She’s snaky af ‘what a gentlemaaaan’, she knows what she’s doing.

I’d suggest you get yourself some very close male friends whom you talk to for min thirty minutes daily. He won’t mind.

Why is it puky to call a man a gentleman when he has done a gentlemanly thing? That he told you suggests there's nothing irregular about the connection. Do you compliment him on his manners and say things to boost him when he does something nice? You sound jealous and insecure, I'm sorry.

I have a colleague like this - it's not a scheduled call but we chat about work stuff and also private stuff as well. Nice to have someone to vent to but it's definitely platonic

I’m going to buck the trend here. I’ve been in this situation, my husband calling the same woman everyday while wfh. I caught some of the ‘chats’ and they were different to calls to other colleagues. Very cosy, close. In the end I discovered (overheard) very disloyal content about how she was nicer than me, making fun of me. Full blown affair. Be wary and watchful. Hopefully it’s nothing. It wasn’t in my case.

I’d stop that at once. My husband had an affair with a work colleague last year for 6 months and I had always known she was interested in him. He put it down to her it’s talking like that to everyone because she is Italian. Bullshit. If he cares about you he stops those calls now.

@walnutcoffeecake I don't know if you are referring to the OP but if you're referring to the comments I totally agree with you. I am getting really concerned about the way people are attacked on Mumsnet when they make a post. You can have a different opinion from the OP but you don't need to be so vicious about it. It is getting really worrisome

@LambertndButler don't be so ridiculous. What makes you think her marriage is toxic?

I agree with you OP, I would also be worried if my DH was constantly calling a particular female colleague and also reporting to me compliments made by this colleague to him. Please do not listen to all these people on Mumsnet who write responses totally different from how they would react in real life. They like drama and always try to make people with genuine concerns feel stupid. This is one of the reasons why I am very wary of posting on Mumsnet

Would you feel the same if it was a male colleague?

😂😆😅

I work with a lot of male colleagues. What I do means I'm often the only female in many meetings, calls, projects etc. Which means that the people I develop "friendships" with at work are usually men. The one or two I work with most, we often stay on calls after a meeting to catch up or vent to each other. There's nothing in it.

There is some I have regular catch ups with too. In fact as I was leaving the office today I basically shouted at one call me tomorrow for whatever you wanted, because he'd been messaging me while I was in a tediously long meeting and wanted to go home.

I promise I'm not trying to steal anyone's DP/DH. Very happy with my own.

Relationship building is a massive part of work especially working from home. Unless he's being inappropriate on the call I think yo are being unreasonable.

I sometimes send DH a picture of my calendar in a kind of "how ridiculous is this!?" way. He's done the same to me too. It's like venting.

I agree with this.

It’s so ‘nothingy’ as previous posters have said - the only red flag isn't the comment, it’s him mentioning it!

Not extreme at all. I would be very concerned and unhappy if my husband felt need to speak to female colleague who reminds him of his ex wife for half an hour every day. It's off and that's why Ur Spidey senses are tingling.
He probably sees it as nothing, but it is something. It's inappropriate for married man to have that sort of relationship in my opinion.

Yes.. it’s a problem.

This is more about you than about him.

name changed, because CRINGE

I’m 99.9% sure this is me, happy to dial you in 😂