Toys in school

Things like this only become an issue if the parents make it an issue. You explain that “x has some extra needs so having a toy helps them, you don’t need that though” and that’s the end of it. Children of that age are actually on the whole very accepting (unless their parents teach them not to be)

Your post reminds me of the parent who complained it was unfair that DS had his own TA and her child didn’t.

My 4 year old understands that different children live by different rules. She asks me why another child can do something and she can't, and I tell her 'well maybe her parents have different rules to me'. Or I say, 'she has different needs to you, and that's why she has that toy', And that is enough of an explanation usually.

Kids need to understand that there are different rules for different situations, and those rules might apply differently based on people's needs and abilities.

This is a really interesting thread. DS is in Y1 and is just beginning formal assessment for autism. He often cries because he’d like to take his teddy to school but I’ve not asked because there’s a rule that says no toys. We bought the bear specifically as an anxiety reliever, so I’ll ask as everyone seems to agree it’s a reasonable adjustment.

And? Why the post then?

You should perhaps warn her that some kids will be getting certificates for sitting still on the carpet even though she does every day and she won't be getting a certificate for that but perhaps more academic achievements or kindness...

^ this. Yabu op

So you explain the difference.

This is basic parenting.

Time for a conversation about everyone is different… plenty of lovely books out there about how unique we all are. If you ask school they probably have done you can borrow.

If she can’t get it yet - she’s only 4 then let her take Mr Fluffy to school with you if it helps her - but ‘so he doesn’t get lost Mr Fluffy comes home with mummy and will meet you at home time.’ - it’s really not rocket science .

Your post comes across very badly as all you can see is ‘it’s not fair’ against a disabled child having reasonable accommodations.

please think about the reality of having a child with disabilities and all it entails. Judgments like this are just so harsh when you are battling the realities of life, the disability; the school system etc.

acceptance costs nothing - but means so much.

(mother of 2 disabled children)

And as with other things that your child sees and doesn't yet understand, part of your job as a parent is to help explain it to her, and help her to see that she won't always get to have/do exactly the same as others and that is ok.

Perfect example

Yabvu. Surely at reception age your child is old enough to be explained to and expect to follow the rules of the school. Start educating her rather than wanting to throw your toys out. This is exactly why we have such a growing entitled generation. Always me me me.

Aibu to think it shouldn’t be one rule for one, one for everyone else.

Yes, YABVVVU.
Seriously - have you never heard of reasonable adjustments?

I know it's difficult for small children to understand at first so ypur DD will need a chat and explanation.

You are not a small child so your lack of understanding here comes across badly OP.

If your child suffers from severe anxiety and distress and the toy could help then do go talk with the school about support for her too. Many ND children aren't diagnosed at the reception stage and may still need adjustments for example.

But if your child can cope and it's just a case of want and not need, then please leave it.

People complained that DD (who has impaired mobility and struggles to walk) was allowed to sit out of PE when their DC weren't.

Bad enough that the children thought it, but for grown adults to be agreeing with them made it even worse as DD was then the victim of the comeback.

OP - learn some empathy and maybe teach your child some.

If her friend was in a wheelchair would you think she should get one two? How about books in braille? Hearing aids?

Count yourself fortunate you don't have to deal with the day to day struggles in the school system that those of us do on a daily basis with a child that has SEN.

YABU, really hoping this isn't real

This has GOT to be a reverse surely? No one can be this far up their own arse and be so ignorant???

I can imagine that it’d be a nightmare for primary teachers - ‘special’ toys constantly being mislaid or ‘borrowed’.

A bit different at nursery stage, when children may need some comfort item, esp. perhaps in order to nap.

My son with ASD and ADHD has crippling anxiety about being in school, he has a box from home with bits in for comfort.
If you could see how upset he is EVERY morning you might understand why some children need to have extra.

Wow, YABVU

Life isn’t fair

but thank God the school are trying to make it equal so this little autistic girl can access education.

never desire someone else’s accommodations unless you are prepared to take on their disabilities and their struggles…

OP: YABU. And ignorant.

If there's a child in school with a guide dog, should all the other children get to bring their pet dogs in too?

Teach your child compassion and that everyone is different. She is able to manage without taking home items in. The toy is an accommodation for SEN. If it was peg feeding would you let your child think they should also have a turn or explain the difference and it's not a whim or choice.

I agree with you OP and that's why my child gets to attend school in a wheelchair accompanied by a guide dog despite "needing" either