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AIBU?

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Original poster

Selling his gift

192 replies

Emstar444 · 23/04/2024 09:07

So, aibu? My partner decided that after I had scrimped and saved to buy him a gift he had asked for, to sell it on ebay, along with another gift I had purchased at his request for him. It wasn't due to fit or anything like that, he just decided to, and I quote 'get some money for them'. What they have sold for is far below what I paid for them, even though he knows how hard I struggled to get the money together to buy the things he wanted. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed about this?

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 23/04/2024 17:38

Yeah, I agree that's odd.

BusyMum47 · 23/04/2024 17:38

Dump him now, before you get properly invested.

BusyMum47 · 23/04/2024 17:37

Yes, you're unreasonable to ONLY be 'miffed' - I'd be downright bloody FURIOUS!! What a selfish, ungrateful twat!!

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/04/2024 17:36

Needmorelego · 23/04/2024 17:34

I am surprised that's almost everyone on here is instantly going for "what a bastard" or "he conned you" etc when it could actually be very simple :
The designer clothes didn't fit properly or suit him and he realised he will never wear them so he sold them on.
The personal care item wasn't what he expected it to be and he realised he will never use it so he sold it on.
Don't people do that all the time. I mean how many women sell "brand new with labels" clothes on vinted? Loads do.

It's wasn't this situation though, was it? He specifically asked for the items, knew OP had to scrimp to buy them but showed utter contempt for her efforts.

OP this would give me the ick on a epic scale. I'd end the relationship to be honest.

Needmorelego · 23/04/2024 17:34

I am surprised that's almost everyone on here is instantly going for "what a bastard" or "he conned you" etc when it could actually be very simple :
The designer clothes didn't fit properly or suit him and he realised he will never wear them so he sold them on.
The personal care item wasn't what he expected it to be and he realised he will never use it so he sold it on.
Don't people do that all the time. I mean how many women sell "brand new with labels" clothes on vinted? Loads do.

NiceDay2024 · 23/04/2024 17:33

What did he get you for Christmas and your birthday?

How would he feel if you said you were selling the presents he got you?

Noyesnoyes · 23/04/2024 17:27

This is so odd! Is it some sort of test for you?

zingally · 23/04/2024 17:20

Just think of all the money you'll save by never having to buy the useless twat a gift ever again!

whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 23/04/2024 17:08

I'd be absolutely fuming.

penjil · 23/04/2024 17:05

I'd be furious and would really reconsider the relationship.

It's very disrespectful towards you.

Nanny0gg · 23/04/2024 16:52

Emstar444 · 23/04/2024 10:05

So the gifts were on ebay within a couple of weeks of him receiving them.
He doesn't see anything wrong with this and doesn't think I should be upset about it.
We don't live together and have been in relationship for less than a year. These were gifts for his birthday that he had specifically said he wanted, used once, then sold for about half of what I paid for them. They were a personal care item that he specifically wanted, and some designer clothing.

He's treating you and your gifts with contempt.

Dump him

AstralSpace · 23/04/2024 16:42

That's a really disrespectful thing to do and shows he couldn't care less about you or the effort you put into the gift.
Look at your relationship and you'll see other ways that he's treated you badly that you've probably excused.

You shouldn't stay with him. Find someone better.

MissMogwai · 23/04/2024 16:40

He asked for expensive things and then sold them? Nah, he's seen you coming there OP.

I nearly said don't buy him anything in future but actually I'd just dump him.

yellowlupins · 23/04/2024 16:37

The people who think this is fine, and would do so themselves are perfectly reasonable and within their rights, but they are best partnered up together.
Then they can be as calculating and rational as they like. They might even admire this in each other and see it as a strength in character but I'm not sure, possibly they would be the sort of people who make exceptions for themselves, but no one else.

Peachy2005 · 23/04/2024 15:18

It sounds like something out of the Andrew Tate school of how to treat women… I would run a mile!

DrJoanAllenby · 23/04/2024 15:13

Emstar444 · 23/04/2024 10:05

So the gifts were on ebay within a couple of weeks of him receiving them.
He doesn't see anything wrong with this and doesn't think I should be upset about it.
We don't live together and have been in relationship for less than a year. These were gifts for his birthday that he had specifically said he wanted, used once, then sold for about half of what I paid for them. They were a personal care item that he specifically wanted, and some designer clothing.

Dump him.

Nothing else needs to be said.

Iloveacurry · 23/04/2024 15:12

Ask for them back. And don’t buy anything again for him.

Gettingonmygoat · 23/04/2024 15:09

Please please walk away, he has no respect for you and never will.

ByUmberViewer · 23/04/2024 14:52

Before you dump him, ask him for an expensive gift, wear it once, then sell it on Ebay. Be really interesting to see what he has to say about that.

fedupwithbeingcold · 23/04/2024 14:14

Just dump him. He has no respect for you and he's abusing your generosity

MILTOBE · 23/04/2024 13:21

I would dump him. He's greedy and selfish and doesn't give a damn about you, OP. There are much nicer men out there. Throw this one back in the sea.

fairlygoodmother · 23/04/2024 13:16

KreedKafer · 23/04/2024 10:27

He's done this deliberately to mess with your head.

He's getting a thrill out of hurting/humiliating you. He asked you to buy him things he knew you couldn't easily afford, just to see how far you'd go to please him, and now he's humiliating you on purpose by showing you he doesn't care, and gaslighting you by telling you this is normal.

This isn't just someone being a bit thoughtless. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Honestly, you've been with this man for less than a year and he's showing you who he really is. Please end this relationship.

Show quote history

I think this is the only rational explanation unfortunately.

MissUltraViolet · 23/04/2024 13:11

Show him this thread.

Partner - you're a proper twat. That was a thoughtless, awful thing to do. You do not deserve to ever get more than a freddo bar as a gift again.

OP - all his future birthday or christmas gifts are for you. Treat yourself to something you want instead of making any effort for him again.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 23/04/2024 13:06

I can't think of any interpretation of this situation where he's not a massive dickhead. He's shown you exactly what he thinks of your hard efforts to please him. Get rid.

itsmylife7 · 23/04/2024 13:01

Tumbler2121 · 23/04/2024 10:12

You scrimped and saved to buy him a present? Struggled to get the money? Why would you ever do this for a boyfried even if he loved the present.

Spot on comment.

Have a long think about why you'd put yourself under this much pressure to please this man.

Will you continue to buy him what he wants ?

Just out of curiosity what has he bought you ?

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