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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Selling his gift

192 replies

Emstar444 · 23/04/2024 09:07

So, aibu? My partner decided that after I had scrimped and saved to buy him a gift he had asked for, to sell it on ebay, along with another gift I had purchased at his request for him. It wasn't due to fit or anything like that, he just decided to, and I quote 'get some money for them'. What they have sold for is far below what I paid for them, even though he knows how hard I struggled to get the money together to buy the things he wanted. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed about this?

OP posts:
74Violette · 26/04/2024 06:19

His actions sound deliberate with the motive to hurt you. I was in a relationship with someone once who would do all manner of similar things, very thought-out stuff with the aim to cause me humiliation and hurt. There are people that are this disordered.
Just run OP, this is not a good person you're dealing with.

Zzey · 26/04/2024 06:18

I'd be really angry!

GoldEagle · 25/04/2024 17:28

He obviously doesn't appreciate the efforts you went through to buy him these items. Just send him a card in future.

Champers66 · 25/04/2024 14:53

The 2% who think you are being unreasonable… are you on crack? This is BANG out of order I’d be FUUUUUUMING

Greywitch2 · 25/04/2024 13:51

Easy solution. Less than a year in?

Throw this one back. He's not a keeper.

Panjandrum123 · 25/04/2024 13:33

LTB

Billybagpuss · 25/04/2024 12:22

on the plus side. It’s not a huge amount of money to find out what an arse he is. See it as a good investment and run.

threatmatrix · 25/04/2024 12:06

Emstar444 · 23/04/2024 09:07

So, aibu? My partner decided that after I had scrimped and saved to buy him a gift he had asked for, to sell it on ebay, along with another gift I had purchased at his request for him. It wasn't due to fit or anything like that, he just decided to, and I quote 'get some money for them'. What they have sold for is far below what I paid for them, even though he knows how hard I struggled to get the money together to buy the things he wanted. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed about this?

I would be saying bye bye.

YogaMama66 · 25/04/2024 09:54

What a prick.

Ilovecleaning · 25/04/2024 08:20

To echo many others on here - don’t buy him any more gifts. Hopefully, you won’t be with him for much longer. He has low emotional intelligence to think he can sell hard earned gifts. He is charmless and possibly selfish and uncaring.

BlastedPimples · 25/04/2024 06:43

He's sticking two fingers up at you.

Never buy him anything of value again. Or anything that you need to save for.

Nicole1111 · 25/04/2024 06:39

Run

RobBeckettsGiantTeeth · 25/04/2024 06:32

I would dump him for this. He's showing a stunning lack of respect for the effort and expense you went to.

I used to have a friend who did this habitually. We often did car boot sales together to split the cost of the pitch and to have something fun to do on a Sunday morning. On one occasion as we were setting up I noticed that several things she was selling for peanuts right under my nose were things I'd bought her as gifts, including an expensive gift that I'd picked out especially for a very recent birthday. I never bought her anything again.

tara66 · 25/04/2024 06:01

What he did was, at the very least - ''bad form'' as the saying goes. Very rude and bad mannered.

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 25/04/2024 04:58

I've no issue with people returning stuff if it doesn't fit/not suitable.

But this is disrespectful, rude and unappreciative. I can't think of any good reason bar being desperate for money which you say he isn't.

The only reasons I can think of for him doing this is he literally doesn't care about you, he's extremely selfish or he's trying to mess with your head.

Not one of those things would make me want to stay with him.

Noyesnoyes · 25/04/2024 04:33

walnutcoffeecake · 23/04/2024 20:22

If you give or gift something to someone even if they asked for it then its theirs.
So they can do what they want with it.
Learn from it and stop buying him things.
Its like them post that we read on MN gave it away for free then see it up for sale the next day.
Learn from it stop it simple.

OP is aware that he can sell it.... he is selling it.

Her question was is he being unreasonable?

Angelsrose · 25/04/2024 04:26

Run for the hills. This is seriously weird behaviour. Why are you tolerating it?

what2dooooooo · 25/04/2024 03:53

I'd be upset.

In future, if he asks for a specific gift then don't buy it. Instead stick 50% of the value in a card in cash. Tell him you're saving both yourself and him time as you didn't have to go and buy it and he doesn't have to sell it.

Win win!

Newestname002 · 25/04/2024 02:33

@Emstar444

So the gifts were on ebay within a couple of weeks of him receiving them.

That's incredibly rude and grasping of him. Next time make a lot less effort and, when he asks for something special youd need to work hard to afford say "sorry I just can't afford that" and, if you buy anything, buy something much smaller and easily within your budget

What does he get you? If nothing, that's what you should get him... 🌹

utilitarianism · 25/04/2024 01:24

Time to leave this guy. He's no good.

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/04/2024 01:21

Oh, and @KreedKafer is spot on.

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/04/2024 01:19

Emstar444 · 23/04/2024 10:05

So the gifts were on ebay within a couple of weeks of him receiving them.
He doesn't see anything wrong with this and doesn't think I should be upset about it.
We don't live together and have been in relationship for less than a year. These were gifts for his birthday that he had specifically said he wanted, used once, then sold for about half of what I paid for them. They were a personal care item that he specifically wanted, and some designer clothing.

Don't waste any more of your time on this man. Dump, dump, dump.

CatchHimDerry · 24/04/2024 22:34

Agree with others. I hd one similar to this when I was a teenager and didn’t know better… He’s fit only for the bin 🗑️

Thistlewoman · 24/04/2024 22:01

Definitely bin him.

Thistlewoman · 24/04/2024 21:59

Dump him now. He is a selfish man-baby.

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