Page 3 | Selling his gift

Emstar444 · 2024-04-23T08:07:04+00:00

So, aibu? My partner decided that after I had scrimped and saved to buy him a gift he had asked for, to sell it on ebay, along with another gift I had purchased at his request for him. It wasn't due to fit or anything like that, he just decided to, and I quote 'get some money for them'. What they have sold for is far below what I paid for them, even though he knows how hard I struggled to get the money together to buy the things he wanted. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed about this?

6pence · 26/04/2024 10:05

So disrespectful.

Jamiedodgers · 26/04/2024 10:05

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who asks for expensive gifts knowing I’ll have to scrimp and save for it for starters. Let alone selling it after a few weeks!

Blahblah34 · 26/04/2024 09:57

The fact that he asked you for expensive presents when you've been together less then a year would give me the ick anyway

SeanBeansMealDeal · 26/04/2024 09:55

I'm not at all suggesting that this is his situation - and you did indeed buy the items for him and give them to him - but this mindset makes me think of drug addicts and petty thieves who will quite cheerfully sell something belonging to somebody else that cost/is worth £1,000 down the pub for £20 - and they care so little for the person they stole it from (even if a family member or supposed friend) that they genuinely only see it as £20 made for them, and it never even enters their head how much of a big loss somebody else has had forced on them for them to get that small amount.

Needmorelego · 26/04/2024 09:13

@WarshipRocinante I am not defending him because we never heard his side or what his response was when she told him how it made her feel (if she ever did) or what he wanted the cash for.
To her she had to "scrimp and save". To him they could have been prices he doesn't even have to bat an eyelid about.
He might have said "I really want those new trainers by FancyBlah Designer" - something he would just buy without thinking because he doesn't have to scrimp and save.
But then discovers they are an uncomfortable fit so he sells them on. A lot of people do that.
A lot of people buy things on impulse, can't be bothered to return it and sell it on.
I am not saying I agree with any of that.
The OP hasn't come back so we don't know how it ended up.
For all we know he could have apologised and felt bad that she had to save up and said "I wish you had told me you wouldn't have been able to afford that".
We don't know.....
Or he could just be a selfish dick 🤔

M103 · 26/04/2024 08:59

This is disrespectful at best and manipulative at worst. A bit of a red flag. I think it's best to end this relationship.

ivs · 26/04/2024 08:57

So he is a dick then

You want to be with a dick for the rest of your life? Or do you deserve better?

LoveWine123 · 26/04/2024 08:56

LTB

betterangels · 26/04/2024 08:56

CrappySack · 23/04/2024 10:49

Another vote for binning him off OP.

He asked for expensive gifts and then sold them. He's a selfish, rude twat.

Don't waste any more time or money on this one.

Agree. I wouldn't bother with him.

WarshipRocinante · 26/04/2024 08:52

Needmorelego · 26/04/2024 08:49

These responses are quite fascinating compared to the Christmas threads where people seem to bag up half their gifts on Boxing Day to take to the charity shop......

Those threads are about tat gifts you’ve usually told people you don’t want or they’ve asked you what you want and then bought you something totally different which clearly doesn’t suit you.

This is about two things he specifically asked for, knowing they were expensive and that she would have to save and scrimp to afford them… then he got them and immediately sold them for half the cost. Nothing at all like the Xmas tat threads and a total dick move. Are you actually defending this man’s actions?

Needmorelego · 26/04/2024 08:49

These responses are quite fascinating compared to the Christmas threads where people seem to bag up half their gifts on Boxing Day to take to the charity shop......

DuchesseNemours · 26/04/2024 08:45

I agree with pp - this is not a 'once it's a gift it's the recipient's to do with as they want' situation. This is a control and mind fuckery situation in which someone is deliberately trying to mess you up.

Get outta there.

ClairDeLaLune · 26/04/2024 08:45

KreedKafer · 23/04/2024 10:27

He's done this deliberately to mess with your head.

He's getting a thrill out of hurting/humiliating you. He asked you to buy him things he knew you couldn't easily afford, just to see how far you'd go to please him, and now he's humiliating you on purpose by showing you he doesn't care, and gaslighting you by telling you this is normal.

This isn't just someone being a bit thoughtless. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Honestly, you've been with this man for less than a year and he's showing you who he really is. Please end this relationship.

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Yep. Dump him. Preferably in a humiliating way. Maybe on Instagram?

WarshipRocinante · 26/04/2024 08:39

Why are you scrimping and saving to buy two expensive things for someone you’ve known less than a year? One of them would have been plenty. He didn’t need designer clothes and a “personal care item.”

Leave this one, and don’t let anyone else treat you like that again. Don’t do stuff you can’t afford just to try and keep up with someone else.

BusyMummy001 · 26/04/2024 08:38

Just buy his gifts directly from ebay next time … or just don’t bother.

Actually, am wondering why you are with such a disrespectful and selfish man. I’d start shopping around for his replacement.

grinandslothit · 26/04/2024 08:34

So did he buy you expensive gifts for your birthday and Christmas too?

EveningSpread · 26/04/2024 08:31

KreedKafer · 23/04/2024 10:27

He's done this deliberately to mess with your head.

He's getting a thrill out of hurting/humiliating you. He asked you to buy him things he knew you couldn't easily afford, just to see how far you'd go to please him, and now he's humiliating you on purpose by showing you he doesn't care, and gaslighting you by telling you this is normal.

This isn't just someone being a bit thoughtless. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Honestly, you've been with this man for less than a year and he's showing you who he really is. Please end this relationship.

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This in spades. He sounds incredibly manipulative. He's shown you who he is: believe him, and run!

ImustLearn2Cook · 26/04/2024 08:25

KreedKafer · 23/04/2024 10:27

He's done this deliberately to mess with your head.

He's getting a thrill out of hurting/humiliating you. He asked you to buy him things he knew you couldn't easily afford, just to see how far you'd go to please him, and now he's humiliating you on purpose by showing you he doesn't care, and gaslighting you by telling you this is normal.

This isn't just someone being a bit thoughtless. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Honestly, you've been with this man for less than a year and he's showing you who he really is. Please end this relationship.

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@KreedKafer I couldn’t agree with you more. @Emstar444 Protect yourself from this man and ditch him. Then block him.

theseventhseal · 26/04/2024 08:24

We don't live together and have been in relationship for less than a year.

Life is short. He's a prick. Find someone better.

2024istheyearforme · 26/04/2024 08:21

Id be leaving him. for me its disrespectful.

CameltoeParkerBowles · 26/04/2024 08:13

VickyEadieofThigh · 23/04/2024 10:31

IF you stay with this charmer, I'm on team 'get him a small bar of chocolate for any future gift'.

Yes. Or, if you're feeling really generous, sellotape a £2 coin to the inside of a Card Factory card.

PEARLJAM123 · 26/04/2024 07:51

No more presents for him.

onitlikeacarbonnet · 26/04/2024 07:39

KreedKafer · 23/04/2024 10:27

He's done this deliberately to mess with your head.

He's getting a thrill out of hurting/humiliating you. He asked you to buy him things he knew you couldn't easily afford, just to see how far you'd go to please him, and now he's humiliating you on purpose by showing you he doesn't care, and gaslighting you by telling you this is normal.

This isn't just someone being a bit thoughtless. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Honestly, you've been with this man for less than a year and he's showing you who he really is. Please end this relationship.

Show quote history

This ^ all day long and twice on Sunday.
I’m sure it’s not the first instance and, if you brush it off, it will not be the last, or the worst. At best he’s thoughtless and you deserve better than that.
At worst he’s testing you, and he will eventually destroy you.

Please think about whether you can endure this kind of behaviour, and worse; or to be more objective, if a friend told you this had happened to them, what would you advise them to do?
Do that.

Anyotherdude · 26/04/2024 07:20

His values seem very different from yours, OP. Are there any other red flags?

Ilovecleaning · 26/04/2024 07:15

RobBeckettsGiantTeeth · 25/04/2024 06:32

I would dump him for this. He's showing a stunning lack of respect for the effort and expense you went to.

I used to have a friend who did this habitually. We often did car boot sales together to split the cost of the pitch and to have something fun to do on a Sunday morning. On one occasion as we were setting up I noticed that several things she was selling for peanuts right under my nose were things I'd bought her as gifts, including an expensive gift that I'd picked out especially for a very recent birthday. I never bought her anything again.

The cheeky mare! That’s awful.