To ask MIL to stop posting photos of DS on social media?

I wouldn't dream of posting photos of my gc on Facebook as I know my dd s wouldn't want me to do so. Saying that dd2's MiL has posted a couple of photos of her ds on Facebook but he is in a group with her dc and other gc.
I have posted the odd photo of my dc over the years but now I always ask their permission first. One of my friends on Facebook posts everything online.

Yanbu, who cares if she's upset. She has no right to do that after you explained. You are the parents and that's what goes. Being a GP doesn't mean she has any say in issues like this or anything for that matter. I would not chase after her and just leave her to stew.

You can post and share at will
I would be horrified if anyone posted a picture of my kids without checking with me first and I do v occasionally post

Can you set up a WhatsApp for family and say she can send the odd photo to a friend but not on social media that way she can be proud granny with out the risk

You need to stop sending her any photos that you aren’t happy to be on social media. It won’t stop her taking her own pictures but presumably you will be with your child at the time to intervene.

@GoawaySunrise this is the type of photos I also post of my son. I also vetted my followers and my Instagram is private, so I know who can see what.

You are totally in the right @InATizzz but I think you need to get your husband to fight this battle.

You're completely in the right op. I don't allow faces or names of DC on social media. Dm will occasionally post a picture of ds face down in cake, back of him while doing an activity etc. accompanied by "had a great day with my grandson". She still gets to share her happy moments with her friends, and I don't have an extra worry. There are enough dangers to protect our DC from without going out and courting new ones.

As the parent you post what you wish. Mil is not a parent to your baby, she doesn't get to post what she wants. She can post her own kids if she's desperate!

Stop providing her with the artwork for her to post on social media. If she doesn't have the photos, she can't post anything.
If you're sending her photos on WhatsApp, send them using the Disappearing messages option and also use the view counter option (so that she can view them once and after 24hrs the message disappears entirely.

Flag all the photos to Facebook and don’t send her any more photos.
That video is a good one to send. Older generations really don’t understand social media at all

YANBU - it baffles me how much people are willing to share about their children online. Ok fair enough they might have strong privacy in place but it gives the green light to everyone else who might not be so strict !

If your MIL is offended then thats a her problem - your baby is not social media content ! She can show her friends pictures in real life like people used to do ! I’d also stop sending her pics if I were you.

And don’t get me started on ‘mumfluencers’ who use their children for content and money - potty training seems to be the thing they are all sharing at the moment which I think is a massive invasion of privacy.

We were told in no uncertain terms that we could not, under any circumstances, post pictures of our GC on Social Media. I can’t imagine the consequences had we done so. GD1 is nearly 19 and does post on Instagram but that is her choice. We were also told ‘no naked photos’ when they were babies.

Not sure how anyone has voted you are BU because you not at all

i agree with everyone else that it’s entirely reasonable for you to have raised this.
my only question is whether she’s actually angry/upset with you or maybe just feeling a bit awkward/foolish? im only asking because it may be that it will blow over, she’ll respect your wishes and is just taking a while to get over herself. Obviously that in itself is pretty childish but it sounds like you don’t want any issues with her so maybe just let her work through it? Have you seen her since? Is she not talking to you in person?

Let her be upset with you, your child your rules.

No more pictures for her. She's not trustworthy and she'll probably just hide future posts from you.

It's a reasonable request, and a really common one in this day and age.

She doesn't get any more pictures now, her own fault. At least now you know she doesn't respect boundaries and can plan accordingly in future.

YANBU. We did the same and it worked.
Some people - grandparents - were disappointed and had to adjust their behaviour accordingly (eg finding other ways to show their friends photos of their grandkids) did they get adjust and got used to it after a year or two.

Stick to your guns. People are increasingly switched on to online harm, consent, privacy and child rights, and doing the same.

No, of course you weren't being unreasonable.

But people can react badly to the 'thought I'd just mention' 'could you possibly not...' type of conversations. They feel embarrassed. Let her have some space and just remain neutral and cheerful. Hopefully, she will get over it. But do not doubt your decision.

My kids were little during the early stages of social media when it all seemed novel and wholesome (!) Although my settings are all private so friends only, I did use to post my kids, until one day my then 8 year old said, "please don't" .

It really brought me up short and seemed so obvious - it's their image not mine.

@Cheepcheepcheep That's a fantastic video. It's so easy think my privacy setting are secure and only a handful of people will see it. But once an image is online you have zero control over where it will end up and what it will be used for.

YANBU OP, and I doubt anyone will post to say you are.

*edited for spelling error.

My adult children would go bananas if I posted photos of my grandchildren on social media without their permission. It's a perfectly reasonable request and your MiL should abide by your wishes without any fuss or drama. Silly woman!

Cheepcheep - brilliant video.

Totally reasonable. Our parents will forward photos and videos via WhatsApp to wider family and friends we've all known for years. But no social media.

I do post on IG but my settings are tightly controlled

Our school has three settings
(1) Internal school use only (which we're fine with)
(2) No photos at all.
(3) Social media but no names

We went with (1). Which means they are on the slideshows of things shown in class but not on the school's website or twitter. Where it's a class photo of a school trip on twitter (used for communication like "we've arrived" they usually put an emoji over the relevant kids. In my DDs class there are approx 8 or 9 kids out of 25 with that "setting".

Yup that's a good one.

This video was what did it for me: