10yr nearly 11yr at home by themselves

From age 11 onwards I had my own key to let myself in and was at home for 2 hours alone until my mum finished work. After school activities weren’t a thing when I was a kid. I quite liked it as it meant I got to do my homework in front of the TV!

Have one the same age. I'd leave her if she was happy on her own but not sure about letting herself in. She left key in outside of door once. Perhaps with practice. She has a mobile for these occasions and is getting practice walking home with a friend.
As I have a younger child I've always been there to let her in.
My opinion might be clouded by my own mishap with a key when I was young.

Honestly by the time my oldest was 11 he didn't want to go to afterschool.
I kept him going mainly because while I was happy for him to come home for a couple of hours afterschool. Afterschool do holiday cover I wasn't happy with him spending all day at home during holidays. It was easier to keep him going seeing friends their than it was to just drop him into holiday cover.

@spriots I live in Ireland and whilst the behaviour described would be likely in the city or in some areas that isn't visible here 🤞

The ten year olds do plenty of activities to support them towards independence. They play out, cook simple snacks, help with pets etc. A few, including my son attend a University on an education programme for bright children, so no issues with IQ or challenges by SEN.

Their peers, and older siblings followed a similar path to being 13 the age when parents allowed them to be unsupervised. I do see our secondary age (13-18) as an advantage. 13 becomes the default age for smartphones, traveling by bus further than local, and childcare decisions.

I don't agree they suffer internalised incapable feeling. If anything I see confident, secure children who see the pathway towards independence.

Childcare differentiates as they age, a lot would be After-school activity based (sports, hobbies, forest school- bush skills). When I need a sitter then they tend to be from the local teacher trainer college who can support his coding Minecraft or hurling skills.

I always explain to my son and the sitters that the adult is responsible for the building and emergencies. I expect and know my son can sort himself out with snacks etc.

I had a key for home and let myself in at 13, after school. I was very sensible though. It was only until my mum got home couple of hours later.

Edit: misread the post thought meant year 10 as in high school. Disregard my post please

*resilient

I wonder how it feels for the 11/12 year olds in childcare.

My DDs had independence at that age. They were able to walk to school/the local shop. They could also be dropped into town for a couple of hours to go to the cinema/library or to lunch with their friends.

I didn't leave my DC 12 - 13 at home for longer than an hour and from 10 - 11 not for longer than to grab some milk at the local shop. This wasn't just because it might be dangerous but because they did like to come home to a friendly face and and a chat. By the time they were 13 they wanted a bit of space. I have a very close relationship with my children, they are confident and resiliant.

My son has been coming home from school on his own from this age. He hated going to his childminder by then and didn't like after school club. He has a phone and can contact me and we talked at length about safety etc.

@SuzetteDeFarcey all that link says is "use your own judgement but the NSPCC suggest x".

That doesn't mean that government guidance is X.

It came across as though you were saying nope in general, not just in relation to what you would do. There are different factors to take into account, SEN, length of time, kids personality etc.

I wonder how it feels for the 11/12 year olds in childcare.

My guess is that they internalise being thought incapable

I'd say under 8 is a young child, 8 to 12 an older child, 13 plus a teenager. So a very young child under 6. A long period of time longer than a couple of hours but not overnight as that is mentioned separately. It's quite open to interpretation.

Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, for example at home or in a car.The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children () says:

• children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time


• children under 16 should not be left alone overnight


• babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

How old is a young child? Is 8 a young child or just a child under 12?

And every child is different and circumstances are different

People really get babysitters for their 12yo for a few hours after school?

I am waiting until secondary (13 where I am) and I use a private childminder

but I world leave both of mine to pop to the shop for five mins etc

Wrong.

My answer is NOPE i wouldnt !

So how is that wrong? Thats MY answer

Yes there is.

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

@Marblessolveeverything by issues with strangers btw I didn't necessarily mean abduction - though that does happen, e.g. Soham in nice quiet villages too.

I meant more weird people. I grew up in a safe suburb of a small city, but had a fair amount of things like being leered at, kerb crawled, cat called etc from the age of about 12/13.

@spriots I agree it is interesting. Where I am my son walks out the door to meet two of his friends they cross one road. It has a very safe signal crossing. Then they are onto a pedestrian path all the way to school.

There hasn't been an incident with a child by strangers in living memory. At home I would worry about a fire etc. They would be confident navigating the ten minute walk. School would contact us directly if not arrived without a message being sent.

They know and are known by neighbours (part of local green warriors group). They are together with 3 others. To me that is safer than being at home and making a bad choice or simply feeling overwhelmed.

@Marblessolveeverything it's interesting because I think there are more hazards out of the house - other people, cars, accidents. Inside the home feels a lot safer to me. Not 100% safe because nothing is but safer.

Definitely not

@jannier I am in Ireland not Northern Ireland. Our primary goes from Junior infants through to Sixth class and Secondary begins at age 13.

@ladykale Barnardo's are a lead in child research across the socio economic groups, their provision would concentrate on those in most need.

I would not equate walking in a safe public area as being at home. The risks are higher as the environment includes so many fire or injury hazards. It also could be detrimental to a child who isn't ready but feels pressured to agree.

I have a ten year old. Bright lad but he nor any of his friends would be left at home alone. Parents span many nationalities, the children walk with friends together in a very safe area.

My 16 year old would have been allowed at about 12+[ COVID impacted) so I think it was a little later.

It was a tongue-in-cheek comment, I did day correlation does not euqal causation!

Raised mostly by the latch key generation, so perhaps they went too far trying to correct the choices of their parents? I'm genuinely not blaming parents of latch key kids, people can only do what they think is best at the time; more women were required in work and it tool a while for the childcare provision to catch up. But I do find it all interesting in relation to cause/effect, and whether or not it is!