To allow DSC to call me mummy.

Effectively you are their mum so why not have them call you mum?

You are their mum.of course they can call you mum/mummy .

Spare pants - no, we borrowed the forever home idea and added in every day when we explained that they grew in X's tummy and visit X, but their home is and will be with us and we look after her every day. They are a grandchild and came up with their own version of the other grandchildren's name for my partner (both female). Sometimes they have called my partner and/or me mum, depending on where we are, like shops, school etc. Hope that clears that up.

YANBU at all in these circumstances!

As long as it’s not forced it’s fine. My eldest (SS) hasn’t seen his bio mum for around 5 years now (his choice). He just refers to her by her first name now.

He doesn’t call me “mum” either but that’s fine, it should be the DCs choice IMO.

You essentially are their mum. Let her call you mum.

Ignore the opinions of bio mums family - they aren't actually raising these kids and you are!
Do what the children want - you are their only real parent.

I used to call the cleaning lady 'mummy name' because as I grew up she was the one there emotionally for me and she let me hang out at her house in safety and acceptance. A mum is a woman who meets the needs of a child and makes a child feel safe/loved. You sound like a mum. Not having a good mum hurts that's why week seek out alternatives as children. My daughter is named after my surrogate mum, it would have hurt me a lot if she had told me I can't call her mum

I can answer this from personal experience. When small it was an all encompassing consuming wish to have a mum and dad. Every single time a teacher said ‘give it to mum and dad’ it would hurt so deeply that I didn’t have either. Every time a child wanted to hurt you it was always the family situation that was brought up- especially when you don’t have the same name as your ‘parents’ Even the teachers would cross out my ‘parents’ name and say no, that’s not yours to use. Never feeling like you belong anywhere was horrid.

Being able to call someone Mum was HUGE. Your small person obviously feels very loved and safe with you and wants to bestow that on you. You’ve done a fabulous job.

They need a mum who is there for them everyday being mum - and that's you. Kids can have more than one mum for all sorts of reasons. I hope the extended family don't cause you problems over this, they are in the wrong if they do.

Of course they should call you mum! You’re wonderful.
They will call you “ my mum” if they’re talking about home at school, because you are.

OP you are this child's mum. And the fact that they're seeking to call you mummy speaks volumes. They know they have a bio mum but you're fulfilling the "mummy" role in every way that counts.

You are their mummy

OP, you ARE their Mum, I don't believe extended family with m8nimal contact get to dictate what your children refer to you as.

They are truly.blessed to have you.

Calling you Mum will give the child stability and security. Children who have suffered these losses need to feel claimed / that they belong in their new family

I think it's absolutely fine, on the basis that child knows their birth history / who their birth mother is

You could explain to extended family that this is about the child feeling secure of your commitment and the childs role in your family, not you seeking to erase birth mother and pretend she doesn't exist. Also, some children have siblings /some don't, some have 1 Granny / some have 2, some have 2 Dads. Families come in all shapes and sizes nowadays

And, kids like to fit in. At school / in the playground, they don't want to share their story before they're ready. This is the child's story to tell and they shouldn't be forced to do that. Dressing it up as a privacy issue might be more palatable to the birth family

Your little DS is indicating their need for you. The bio family is not providing a parent and it could have a detrimental effect on little on to make this distinction at such a young age. You be Mummy and bio Mum can be Mum Kate (name).

You absolutely are his Mum.

We know a lovely boy who is looked after by his DGM. He does see his DM but very much on her terms.

He went through a phase of calling his DGM Mum, he knew she isn't because he sees his birth Mum but his DGM is the one who has looked after him from a very young age. He's stopped now he's an older term but calling her Mum was so very important for him at the time.

You sound absolutely lovely. I’m not surprised they want to call you mum. You’ve been very honest with them about the situation with their own parents so I don’t think you letting them do this will cause them any confusion.

let them and best of luck to you and your family

Just to echo the posts, let them call you what they want. It may evolve over time too so let them know you're delighted to be mum but also if they want to call you something else at a later point that would be OK too.
Thank you for caring for these kids

Your children’s wishes come first on this. You’re his mum and he wants to call you that. He just wants normality. The extended family are thinking about their needs, not his.

You deserve that title more than anyone else in that childs life!

If you’re the poster I think you then you are absolutely that child’s Mummy!

Just wanted to agree with everyone else. You are wonderful and you are very much their mummy

In your situation it's absolutely fine. Everyone knows the score. There's no pretence. Just carry on.

You are his mum! I'm sure most adopted children call their adopted mums 'mum' because they don't (or rarely) see their bio mum. I think it would be lovely if you one day formally adopted him.