Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About unruly teens and that mum at theatre

143 replies

DougJudysSisterTrudiesDog · 22/04/2024 22:47

Name changed for this.

i took my DC and a friend to the theatre. The play is specifically geared for GCSE students, so basically everyone in the audience is 15/16, and every group must be accompanied by a parent.

The seat next to mine was empty. The next seat, and seats after that, had a group of teens that showed up with buckets of popcorn, pinched each other, playfought, talked and loudly munched non stop.

After 45 minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned over the empty seat, gave the boy nearest to me a sharp tap on the shoulder (he was six feet tall so I’m guessing 16), and told him “Can you please stop talking? It’s really annoying”.

During the break, the mother came over to talk to me. I assumed she wanted to apologise. Wrong! She accused me of hitting her child, demanded I apologise, and said it was assault and if I ever did it again she would report me to the police. I said I did not hit her child, I tapped him on the shoulder, and she should have prevented her party from disrupting the performance long before I did so. I also told her it should be her boys apologising to me and others around us for ruining their evening. She kept repeating herself, so after a while, I said I thought the conversation was over.

Other parents also intervened: one dad said the boys hadn’t bothered him, and three other parents told the mother to drop it, that her children were very rude and that even if I hit the boy (I didn’t), that was justified by their behaviour and they would have done the same.

WIBU to tell the boy off? I don’t think I was. I think it’s possible my tap was sharper than I had wished, because he was leaning over the other side to chat to his friends, and I had to lean over the empty seat so it was a bit awkward. But I am 100% sure I did not hurt him, though I think I startled him. If I want to be charitable I would say the mum felt chastised about her parenting so she lashed out at me, and will give her head a wobble later. But as a regular theatre goer, I think I taught the boy a valuable life lesson.

AIBU?

In case this matters, I’ve never hit my DCs and I don’t agree with physical punishment or violence.

OP posts:
Gettingonmygoat · 23/04/2024 07:57

TiredHippo · 22/04/2024 22:53

You were right to tell him to 'stop talking'' but you do realise you should never touch people. What if someone just sharply touched you on the shoulder to tell you off???

Well if someone done that to me i wouldn't have a meltdown or scream i had been assaulted. No wonder of country is a joke. When some stupid woman defends her 16 year olds bratty behaviour you know society is a mess.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 23/04/2024 07:53

Ffs. Responses are such nonsense. Have we really got to a place in society whereby we cannot tap a shoulder?

Yes we have.

Pottedpalm · 23/04/2024 07:49

Alwaysalwayscold · 23/04/2024 07:43

I HATE people who are noisy in the theatre. But if you'd tapped me on the shoulder I'd have punched you in the face, without a doubt.

Oh God help us!

x88mph · 23/04/2024 07:43

I would have been one of the parents supporting you. I can't believe the mother hadn't intervened herself.

Alwaysalwayscold · 23/04/2024 07:43

I HATE people who are noisy in the theatre. But if you'd tapped me on the shoulder I'd have punched you in the face, without a doubt.

Linearforeignbody · 23/04/2024 07:22

The response of the mother shows that the unparented are now parents themselves. And so it passes on down the line.
People don’t know how to behave and YANBU

TheaBrandt · 23/04/2024 07:15

In the interests of balance we went to an avant garde Shakespeare which is a gcse text and it was packed with teenagers. Hundreds of them with about 2 teachers.

Beautifully behaved. Not a peep. Except it was quite ridiculous and there were teething problems with one scene that was unintentionally funny and they laughed as did Dh and I.

lollipoprainbow · 23/04/2024 06:52

Don't theatre/cinema have ushers anymore sitting at the back?

I remember taking my dd to watch the lion king at cinema when she was 4 and getting told off by an usher as she was getting too loud, she shouted out no when the horrible brother lion was being mean!

Another time I was turning the sound off my mobile phone and was approached again by an usher and asked to stop looking at my phone! I was simply turning the sound off!

How times have changed.

Willmafrockfit · 23/04/2024 06:41

she was so wrong
how on earth is her dc going to learn manners with this type of mothers

Tara336 · 23/04/2024 06:39

You were absolutely right to have a word!.I suspect the mother was embarrassed by her children's behaviour hence the ridiculous comments she made trying to deflect from the actual issue.

Behaviour in theatres is awful now, I went last week and they actually asked the audience not to sing during the show, they shouldn't have to do that but i guess that's a sign of the times.

I had a mother in front of me with two teenagers (tourists) she stood up and shouted at her kids before the show started and then proceeded to keep leaning over and talking to them (I assume explaining the plot) and blocking our view during the show. We were all getting fed up of it but didn't say anything as you don't know how people will react these days

Original poster
DougJudysSisterTrudiesDog · 23/04/2024 06:38

dapsnotplimsolls · 23/04/2024 06:21

Did they shut up?

Yes they did - after I asked the boy to stop talking, there wasn’t a peep coming from them for the rest of the play.

OP posts:
MariaVT65 · 23/04/2024 06:28

Lol the boy and his mum are full of shit.

If either of them genuinely believed there was an ‘assault’ they would/should have raised it as an issue IMMEDIATELY. If someone assaults you, you don’t wait 30 mins then approach them and be like ‘you assaulted me’.

ZekeZeke · 23/04/2024 06:26

I wouldn't have approached the teens directly. I would have gone outside and asked the theatre staff to deal with it.
Same in the cinema.

dapsnotplimsolls · 23/04/2024 06:21

Did they shut up?

Noyesnoyes · 23/04/2024 04:50

Marblessolveeverything · 23/04/2024 01:38

I don't have unruly brats. It isn't acceptable to touch other people. By all means complain to the person or ask staff to assist but keep your hands to yourself.

It is never accepted to touch anyone, for those at the back claiming it is, the law says differently.

What law prevents people from tapping others to attract their attention?

Noyesnoyes · 23/04/2024 04:49

I absolutely don't blame you, but it was inevitable that the DM, was going to be "that mother", when she was letting her DC act like that

Hopefully, she'll now think twice, but I don't it. 🤷‍♀️

Marblessolveeverything · 23/04/2024 01:38

I don't have unruly brats. It isn't acceptable to touch other people. By all means complain to the person or ask staff to assist but keep your hands to yourself.

It is never accepted to touch anyone, for those at the back claiming it is, the law says differently.

grinandslothit · 23/04/2024 00:34

The ones who think you were out of line for daring to touch him or say anything to him are the ones out in public with the unruly brats

You did the right thing. with the mother getting so aggressive, I probably would have called the police on her.

It makes me smile to know that obnoxious kids will get karma one day when they annoy the wrong person and they get punched for real.

adviceaunt · 23/04/2024 00:24

yeah... unfortunately in this day an age, you cannot lay a finger on anyone, and especially not a child!

we live in a mad world.. im not saying you should be able to beat the living shit out of people, but a gentle tap or tug of the sleeve should be ok, alas, it depends on the parents

TiredHippo · 23/04/2024 00:18

😂😂 some of these responses are hilarious. Pokey poke poke poke.

HampdenRadius · 23/04/2024 00:14

The state of some of these responses.

She tapped him on the shoulder. She didn’t punch him, or slap him, or kick him. It’s a perfectly normal way of getting someone’s attention.

If I’d behaved like that in a theatre, to the point someone had to ask me to stop, my mother would’ve bollocked me from noon to breakfast, and apologised to the people I disturbed.

PotOfViolas · 22/04/2024 23:42

If he was busy chatting and looking away it sounds like tapping him is the only way you could have got his attention without making a noise and disrupting things even more.

shellyleppard · 22/04/2024 23:36

Op well done.... I would have done exactly the same!!!! I asked a group of teenagers to stop swearing when my sons were little..... they started again and I gave them the death stare 🫣 it went quiet after that!!🤣

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 22/04/2024 23:33

ABirdsEyeView · 22/04/2024 23:11

Touching someone is not the same as assaulting them - while that boy might not want to be touched oh horror of horrors by a total stranger, the best way to avoid this is to stfu and not disrupt the play for everyone else!

The mother should have been dealing with her kid, then OP wouldn't have had to!

And tapping them sharply on the shoulder is not the same as touching them?

Even the OP said it might've been harder than she intended.

But I agree, they should've STFU and let everyone enjoy the performance.

Original poster
DougJudysSisterTrudiesDog · 22/04/2024 23:33

Thank you everyone for putting my mind at rest! I understand some people disagree, and valid points have been raised, but it is comforting that many of you don’t think I’m a crazy harridan 😁.

OP posts: