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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does this sound aggressive to you?

143 replies

queensonia · 22/04/2024 18:35

I am on friendly terms with a neighbour. A couple of weeks ago her cat went missing and I promised to look out for him. I hadn’t heard from her for a while so I texted her: “Any news of Fluffy??” She replied. “Why do you always use so many question marks??????! Not sure if you’re aware but it comes across as aggressive”.
I apologised for accidentally offending her but WTF? Would anyone else find two question marks aggressive? I know Gen Z get in a twist about misuse of emojis but this woman is 60!

OP posts:
Original poster
queensonia · 22/04/2024 18:54

I actually used two question marks to try and show how concerned I was about her lost cat. 🐱

OP posts:
PandorasBoxers · 22/04/2024 18:49

Branleuse · 22/04/2024 18:48

How bizarre.
I think you should text back saying 'yes, I meant it aggressively'

I love this! 😂

Branleuse · 22/04/2024 18:48

How bizarre.
I think you should text back saying 'yes, I meant it aggressively'

missmollygreen · 22/04/2024 18:46

Tlolljs · 22/04/2024 18:37

Fuck her and her cat. You only asked.

No need to bring the cat into it!

Hippomumma2 · 22/04/2024 18:46

Maybe the cat left because she was a nut

Testina · 22/04/2024 18:46

In this context, she should STFU.

But I have Gen Z kids.

Text 1:
mum whats for dinner (sic)

Text 2: (if I don’t reply in a nano second)
????????????

It’s definitely a chase if not aggressive thing to many. And yeah, both of those texts get them told off 🤣

Fargo79 · 22/04/2024 18:45

Multiple question marks, to me, reads like the sender is demanding an urgent response. Or like they've asked me the question already before and are annoyed at having to chase.

However, I think I possess enough common sense to realise that's not the intention of everyone who does it, and I wouldn't be a dick to someone who was kindly enquiring after my lost pet. She sounds unpleasant.

AnxiousRabbit · 22/04/2024 18:42

Yes...I do use multiple question marks when trying to convey a more demanding or sceptical tone...(for instance when texting my kids about who ate my chocolate bar I was saving!)
So yes it does come across as slightly "aggressive"

GoFaster83 · 22/04/2024 18:41

Bonkers. Ignore. (But keep looking for the cat because the cat wasn't rude and cant help if its owner is weird)

FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear · 22/04/2024 18:40

“Any news of Fluffy??”

Actually, I wonder if that came across to her as though you were annoyed at the lack of update?

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/04/2024 18:40

No, a bad day doesn’t excuse that. It’s a clear sign she’s a nightmare to be avoided.

2dogsandabudgie · 22/04/2024 18:39

Perhaps she's having a bad day. I'd see how she is the next time you see her.

Shinyeyes · 22/04/2024 18:38

At least you didn't write it ALL IN CAPITALS!!!!!!!!!!!😂

FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear · 22/04/2024 18:38

OMG I'm so with her on this! 🤣

I hate it. One of the admins in my local FB group does this and it does look aggressive.

I wouldn't have said anything if I was your neighbour though.

Btw, I doubt she's 'offended', probably more irritated.

Pheeeeebs · 22/04/2024 18:38

Blimey she’s hard work. I’d wouldn’t bother with her

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/04/2024 18:37

She sounds pretty unhinged and she can fuck off - avoid from now on. She was the aggressive one.

Tlolljs · 22/04/2024 18:37

Fuck her and her cat. You only asked.

hoarahloux · 22/04/2024 18:35

It does sound a bit demanding! Tone is hard to convey in text.