…to leave a lovely friendship group because of one person?

Is she more friendly with one person in the group than the rest. If so you may end up cutting them off too. Necessary though I think.

This is exactly what happened in our group of six 😆 Once our version of friend six distanced herself it made it a lot easier to break away from Sue. Follow suit, OP.

It's a simple one really. Do you put up with one person so that you get to spend time with the rest of them?

I'd sit this one out personally.

It absolutely is excluding someone.

She can invite who she wants,

just as I can eat microwaved tuna laced with fermented egg in my small corporate office.

But sometimes we sacrifice doing “whatever we want” for the sake of not being a twat

What? It’s not “odd”. I can’t stand it when people try to put down others comments by calling them “odd” and “weird” and “strange” just to make them feel out of place.

Just say you disagree and move on

(I didn’t mean to post twice, sorry!)

I’ve been in this situation, in the end I said to the women I did like I’m happy to meet up without X this time. Sometimes I get together with the nice ladies and if there was an invite that included X I’d always decline. I would wait until she replied yes or no on WhatsApp and then type my reply.
In the end I left the group, partly because it can to a natural end and partly because of my avoidance of X. It was actually a relief when I stopped seeing the ladies.

I would do what 6 did.

Its fine to say “No offence to Sue, but she’s not really my type of person” to your other friends. I’ve heard this before and respected it.

Well yeah. And there is no 'echo chamber' bullshit going on. People are responding to the OP and what she is saying. We are hearing her side, her version of events, and giving advice on what we would do in her position.

If 'Sue' came on and gave her side/her version of events, and said all her friends are deserting her and forming new friendships, people would respond accordingly to her.

No-one is copying what others are saying, people are purely giving opinions to the OP.

How odd to suggest that this thread is an echo chamber.

Well yeah. And there is no 'echo chamber' bullshit going on. People are responding to the OP and what she is saying. We are hearing her side, her version of events, and giving advice on what we would do in her position.

If 'Sue' came on and gave her side/her version of events, and said all her friends are deserting her and forming new friendships, people would respond accordingly to her.

No-one is copying what others are saying, people are purely giving opinions to the OP.

How odd to suggest that this thread is an echo chamber.

This is how I feel. It feels mean to push Sue out of the group in thus way.

Yeah I agree. It's all very well to say that a group is made up of individuals - that's an okay explanation for meeting up with 1 or 2 members of the group separately because you live nearer one another or take kids the same age out together or share a specific hobby...i.e. exactly what friend 6 has done - but inviting every member of a group apart from 1 to something will come across as mean and bitchy, because it is mean and bitchy.

Perhaps the other 4 genuinely do like Sue?

You've got no obligation to be friends with her if you don't like her, but the correct way of dealing with that is to not go on the holiday yourself, not to organise a separate event without her behind her back!

Be honest, if Sue or one of the others invited everyone apart from you to something, you'd feel like shit.

True what you say @ringoffiire but @NeedToChangeName is right, we’d all be supporting Sue and slagging off the rest of the group big time.

Sorry, OP. I’ve nothing more useful to add here except I feel for you, friendships groups can be awkward and I wouldn’t be able to tolerate thrash metal either :)

Snap and fart 😆

I don't think that OP arranging something with people she actually wants to spend time with is excluding anyone.

They are free to carry on seeing Sue outside of that.

The problem is when groups forget that they are made up of separate individuals.

OP can invite whoever she likes to spend time with her. She doesn't have to feel bad for excluding anyone because they are also free to arrange whatever they want for themselves!

MN can be a bit of an echo chamber. If Sue posts on here that a group of friends from a mutual hobby are planning a big trip without her, she'll be told that you're all bitches for excluding her

I think it's quite simple. Go if you want to. If Sue's presence will spoil it for you, make an excuse not to go

If you try to exclude her, you may find people support her and you're the one that gets kicked out of the group

Just arrange something of your own, invite friend 6 and the other people you like from the group.

This isn't all that complicated, you just have to take the lead.

Good suggestions here
so I’d definitely not go on the trip and tell them why
just say she’s not your sort of person sorry
and it may be that after the trip they can see what you and six do!!
meanwhile make your own new group and add the ones you like and want to keep in touch with and make your own plans

She sounds awful. I’d struggle to tolerate that.

I think it’s a typo for “rubs people up the wrong way” but I think I prefer the typo.

” you’re running me up the front way, you are” 🤣🤣

W hat does runs others up the front way mean??

speak to friend 6 and invite any of the others you'd like to and then arrange something between you if you'd like. You would have to all bow out of the original outing though.

you are not obliged to take the annoying friend if none of you want to especially if she is not pulling her weight financially and in terms of work.

I have a similar whatsapp group set up with a similar number of people and I know one of the group runs the others up the front way so people within the group meet separately and often some invite her. It's not the nicest thing but we get to spend time with whom we want to.

I’d ask friend 6 if they would like to join you for a night away as@CadyEastman suggested