DH offered EX-wife his jacket

…put his stuff in bin bags outside the door and change the locks! (Of the house that is half his)

You missed ‘Get your ducks in a row’ 😁

Does it matter if she took it as a sign? So what if she thinks he's still in love with her? If your relationship is stable it doesn't matter what she thinks.

That said if he was looking at her while dancing with you ( which I sincerely hope he wasn't) it was likely not so she knows he's happy. I wouldn't like that if it's true. Especially since it sounds like he was hung up on her for a while.

I wouldn’t like it.

I think it was a kind gesture on his part to offer his coat. I'd hope my DH would do the same (if he had an ex wife) to her or any other woman we knew who he could see was feeling cold. Are you sure he was looking over at her a lot or do you think you might be just being a bit paranoid?

Thats my thought too.

Some of this thread is hilarious.
Smell of his best aftershave the warmth of his coat on her arms.
Omg the cringe if this is how some see it.
As poster said above someones reading mills and boon.

You sound absolutely batshit - sorry!

My late husband left his first wife after she spent the night with a colleague. Two years later, she tried to get him back. (I don't know whether her BF ever knew about that.)

After we got married, she took every opportunity to stick her nose in. I put up with it so as not to interfere with my husband's relationship with his adult children. (They were adults when the pair separated.)

The one boundary that I set was that she was not to set foot in my house.

Looking back, I wish I'd set firmer boundaries. I spent my marriage of 27 yrs 'being nice'.

I'll not hog space here by going into it all, but I was manipulated into letting her represent the kids at my husband's funeral. 3 days later, when I answered the door in a daze of Diazipam and Zoplicone, she was standing there making bizarre small talk...until she asked what I was doing with my husband's ashes.

She was trying to manipulate me into burying them in a cemetery within easy reach of her latest partner's home...and 3 hours away from my home.

Based on my experience, OP, your husband is probably oblivious to his ex's machinations. (My husband realised that his ex was very possessive of their kids, but I don't think he realised that she was still digging her claws into him.)

After my husband died, my husband's DIL told me (over the phone) that his ex was 'devastated'. She was taken to and from the funeral by her 4th partner.

Had I known what I was going to be put through, I'd have put my foot down years ago.

I'm not saying that your husband's ex is as bad, OP, but I reckon you might have every right to be wary of her. (Apologies - I may be projecting.)

I like to think I'm level headed but the jacket thing would bother me. I most certainly associate it with something you do for a romantic partner

Ooh it does sound a bit like an episode of Dallas! A tangled web indeed.

I think lending his jacket doesn't have to be seen as an intimate moment. Did he hand it to her or drape it over her shoulders with both hands, while gazing into her eyes? She may still have feelings for him but it doesn't mean he shares them. I imagine a wedding where he is virtually Father of the Bride will have been quite emotional?

@adviceaunt

No, the immature element came out in your OP.

so maybe he wanted her to see him happy and made sure she was looking and taking note

So what's the story with these two? They had a short marriage, no children, been divorced for 21 years (!) and had to be warned to behave themselves? What on earth are they still bickering about?! You think he's checking to make sure she can see that he's happy?

All of the above would concern me more than the jacket. There's an undercurrent here of lots of unfinished business. Most people would have moved on after two decades. It's odd.

@BronwenTheBrave

i presume you're trying to be funny!

I have an ex. I hate to think he might one day end up married to a woman who would rather see me shivering with cold than see him offer me his jacket. I'm baffled that anyone would see this as "intimate", even given the history between them - in fact, especially given the history. Who would want to be married to a man who wouldn't do this?

@Bruisername
She said separated 10 years when they met, not now.

😂😂

It smelled of his good aftershave and was warm from his body and he put it over over her uncovered arms .
Someones been reading mills and boon 😂.

Laughing my head off.😂

Some of the comments on her are so funny its cheered me right up tonight.
😆

@tuvamoodyson

🤣🤣🤣

Total red flags, your husband is a creep

What a load of rubbish i could not get worked up over it.
Im sure he looks at other women not just you or his ex-wife.

But this is MN so LTB get a divorce hes broken your trust hes disgusting to do that to you.

FFS 😂😂.

It smelled of his good aftershave and was warm from his body and he put it over over her uncovered arms

Send this to Take A Break they’ll publish this shit.

Are people so insecure in their relationships they’d get upset over their DH giving the ex their jacket?