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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Our neighbour (in the flat below) has asked we stop talking at 9:45pm at night?

202 replies

DoingTheMumThing101 · 22/04/2024 16:31

We live in a shared townhouse and the couple downstairs have asked that my partner & I stop talking at 9:45 pm in the evening because they can hear us? We have only been living here for 1 week and get the kids to bed early, we are then woken up by them below speaking at 6am. AIBU?

OP posts:
Redpaisely · 22/04/2024 21:27

DoingTheMumThing101 · 22/04/2024 16:31

We live in a shared townhouse and the couple downstairs have asked that my partner & I stop talking at 9:45 pm in the evening because they can hear us? We have only been living here for 1 week and get the kids to bed early, we are then woken up by them below speaking at 6am. AIBU?

Tell them to first stop talking in the mornings until 9 am.

FreeRider · 22/04/2024 21:09

I had this with my last downstairs neighbour.

He used to whinge about anyone who walked in my flat. Just walking. If I was sat in the living room talking, he'd put music on so loud the floor would shake. He used to abuse anyone who walked up the stairs to get to my flat... the postman, visitors, any delivery people...as they went past his door he'd open it and shout abuse at them. I had so many complaints, it was unreal - like I could control what he did! I had carpets and thick rugs throughout the flat, I'm half deaf so never had music playing...there was literally NOTHING I could have done to limit the amount of noise I was making...I was in the flat on my own 90% of the time!

It all came to a head one New Year's Eve. I'd had my ex husband come around to visit and he'd left at about 10pm. Downstairs neighbour was so incensed that I'd had a visitor - and was talking to them - that he went outside and started throwing eggs at my living room windows. He was then in the communal hallway yelling abuse up the stairs, threatening to kill my cats and beat my boyfriend up. That went on for about an hour. I got my ex husband to come back, pick me and my boyfriend up and we spent the night at his flat. I called the Police and the Housing Association, who immediately said they'd take him to court (turned out he'd done the same to 4 previous occupants of my flat). As a result of the court case, an order with immediate powers of arrest was inforce for 3 years, however I demanded that the HA rehome me asap, and with the added support of my GP and psychiatrist, it happened within 6 months. I spent 3 of those months staying at my ex's flat and sent my cats 200 miles away to stay with my boyfriend.

Long story short, you need to nip this shit in the bud straight away. Tell them that, no, you will not stop talking at 9.45pm and if they don't like it, tough shit.

TigerRag · 22/04/2024 21:08

Are they serious?!

I used to be able to hear my neighbours taps. So annoying!

Bellesbookshop · 22/04/2024 21:05

Hahaha ridiculous

loropianalover · 22/04/2024 20:59

We used to live in a townhouse and could hear the neighbours to the right of us talking, and we could hear their phone alarms. It’s annoying but we never told them to be quiet, it’s not their fault. I’m sure they could hear us too.

Beatrixslobber · 22/04/2024 20:58

Also they said no talking but they didn’t say no singing did they?

Beatrixslobber · 22/04/2024 20:57

Tell them to keep a log of noises because you are certain that you have a ghost and it must be the ghost talking after 9:45 because you go to bed at 9:44.

Cherrysoup · 22/04/2024 20:49

Sweetglossy · 22/04/2024 19:49

law says 11pm.

What law says you can’t talk after 11pm?!

Who on earth voted Yabu? The neighbours?! Bonkers, ignore them.

StormingNorman · 22/04/2024 20:45

So you can hear them and they can hear you? speaking at normal volume?

That sounds really uncomfortable and is a recipe for neighbourly disharmony. You could look into thicker carpets or try some soundproofing.

StMarieforme · 22/04/2024 20:42

I hear my neighbours regularly. Raucous laughter mostly! That's the way of communal walls/ floors/ ceilings. If they don't like it, they need to move.

Noyesnoyes · 22/04/2024 20:40

easilydistracted1 · 22/04/2024 20:35

@Noyesnoyes only 69s after 9pm keeps everyone quiet

Pmsl 🤣

True that!

easilydistracted1 · 22/04/2024 20:35

@Noyesnoyes only 69s after 9pm keeps everyone quiet

LakeTiticaca · 22/04/2024 20:34

Pass surreptitious notes to each other instead, like schoolgirls in class 🤣🤣

Noyesnoyes · 22/04/2024 20:28

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 22/04/2024 20:09

@Noyesnoyes 😉

Shoot me...... I deserve it 🤣🤣🤣

Beadyeyes91 · 22/04/2024 20:17

Post a set of earplugs through their door.

rainbowbee · 22/04/2024 20:14

Sorry but unless you are screaming into the night, the fault is with the building. Mine also has terrible noise transference between floors. If it's not carpeted, get some. Otherwise they will simply have to use white noise. It's a pain some places are made this way.

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 22/04/2024 20:09

@Noyesnoyes 😉

PartOfTheFurniture12 · 22/04/2024 20:04

They specifically said no talking. They didn't say anything about playing death metal, watching movies in surround sound or practising drums... 🤔

Noyesnoyes · 22/04/2024 20:02

Renamed · 22/04/2024 19:31

They’re mad, but if you can hear them too the transference must be terrible. Is there actually both a floor and a ceiling?

Unless insulation gets sorted won’t they be back asking you not to boil the kettle, brush your teeth or fart either?

GrinGrinGrin

Noyesnoyes · 22/04/2024 20:01

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 22/04/2024 19:55

I would like absolute silence from 9am actually, I think they are being more than reasonable to ask for silence this late.

Sounds like you have an insulation / previous neighbour issue.

I realise now you were joking 🤦‍♀️

Noyesnoyes · 22/04/2024 20:01

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 22/04/2024 19:55

I would like absolute silence from 9am actually, I think they are being more than reasonable to ask for silence this late.

Sounds like you have an insulation / previous neighbour issue.

are you serious?

What about shagging? Is that to be done in silence or before 9pm?

drspouse · 22/04/2024 20:00

LauderSyme · 22/04/2024 16:36

Hahahahahahaha. Nope.

Insane entitlement to think they can ask this of you! Suggest to them you all look into sound proofing options.

My thoughts exactly!

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 22/04/2024 19:55

What do you mean by a shared townhouse? Are you literally on separate floors of the same house? Or do you mean it's two apartments, one over the other like maisonettes? If it's the latter then the sound insulation sounds terrible and I'd contact the landlord to see if anything can be done to improve it.

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 22/04/2024 19:55

I would like absolute silence from 9am actually, I think they are being more than reasonable to ask for silence this late.

Sounds like you have an insulation / previous neighbour issue.

IncompleteSenten · 22/04/2024 19:53

Tell them only if they agree to not talk until 8am.

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