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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Our neighbour (in the flat below) has asked we stop talking at 9:45pm at night?

202 replies

DoingTheMumThing101 · 22/04/2024 16:31

We live in a shared townhouse and the couple downstairs have asked that my partner & I stop talking at 9:45 pm in the evening because they can hear us? We have only been living here for 1 week and get the kids to bed early, we are then woken up by them below speaking at 6am. AIBU?

OP posts:
Irridescantshimmmer · 22/04/2024 22:25

OMG.........foolish neighbours!

You can legitimately talk as loud as you want until 23:00, then talk quieter.......this will stop authorities getting involved, just in case they take it further.

Your neighbours are completely unhinged and with screws loose to make such unreasonable demands on you.

HcbSS · 22/04/2024 22:22

Dahek?
Between midnight and 7 am you need to be quiet. But talking at a normal volume is fine. Shouting, crying, screaming etc would not be. But I guess you aren’t doing any of that haba

Roomination · 22/04/2024 22:19

Yes, inexplicable but not overly loud noises are really baffling and weird. In a flat I used to rent, the woman who lived above, got home from work each evening and it sounded like she was scattering the contents of a box of pins over the floor. Just one burst of pin scattering and that was it. I never found out what the heck that was . Something for OP to consider .

LauderSyme · 22/04/2024 22:17

Now I'm thinking about how to make difficult-to-identify noises.
Run chopsticks along the fronts of your radiators.
Chuck handfuls of uncooked rice and pasta on the uncarpeted floor.
Snap bits off polystyrene cups.
Pop bubble wrap in orchestra with DP.

AmethystSparkles · 22/04/2024 22:16

It is a nightmare living in this type of flat though. I lived in one for three years and luckily my neighbour was single and rarely had friends over, and myself and DS are really quiet. If he had any visitors over it was unbearable even if they were just talking.

DodoTired · 22/04/2024 22:14

LOL. They are insane 🤣

TheBeesBollox · 22/04/2024 22:08

Communicate after 9.45pm using interpretive dancing.
Clog dancing, obvs.

Or make noises. Not particularly loud noises, but weird ones. Things that will drive them mad wondering what the hell it is.

GalileoHumpkins · 22/04/2024 22:06

SabreIsMyFave · 22/04/2024 22:01

@GalileoHumpkins · Today 17:22

I agree with them, any noise after 9.45 is extremely antisocial and annoying. Could you not text each other instead of talking?

Are you being ironic? (I hope so!)

Expecting someone to not TALK after 9.45pm is batshit!

Yeah don't talk very loud, or yell across the flat, and don't play loud music after that time (please.) But don't TALK? What the F?!

You should have kept reading!

olivebranch31 · 22/04/2024 22:02

I'd rather hear talking at 9.45 than 6 in all honesty

SabreIsMyFave · 22/04/2024 22:01

@GalileoHumpkins · Today 17:22

I agree with them, any noise after 9.45 is extremely antisocial and annoying. Could you not text each other instead of talking?

Are you being ironic? (I hope so!)

Expecting someone to not TALK after 9.45pm is batshit!

Yeah don't talk very loud, or yell across the flat, and don't play loud music after that time (please.) But don't TALK? What the F?!

Beatrixslobber · 22/04/2024 22:00

Sssh

Roomination · 22/04/2024 21:55

Are you renting or have you bought the flat? If you are renting do you have a tenancy agreement? It should have a section on noise that you can quote from. It’s clearly an unreasonable request and not anything a council noise nuisance department would take seriously unless you are constantly shouting loudly .

i rent and the tenancy specifies no washing machines etc between 10pm-7 am, no music, tv etc that can be heard from outside or is causing a disturbance to neighbours. But normal speaking, normal music, tv sound is classed as flat living.

I think tackling this straight away might be a good idea unless they appear aggressive. Would it be possible to ask to meet them to talk about this? Yes, they’re unreasonable and the insulation is obviously poor, but maybe there’s something you can both do to try dampen the sound that travels up and down?

tillytown · 22/04/2024 21:54

What kind of house/flat do you live in? Being woken up by people just talking normally every morning sounds like hell. You all must be able to hear every little thing each other does

FuckTheClubUp · 22/04/2024 21:53

Sorry WHAT?😂

I laughed at the title when I saw it on the home page. They cannot be serious? OP, how did they verbalise this extreme request? I can’t believe someone would be so crazy

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 22/04/2024 21:52

I hope you've been quiet for the last 7 minutes 😂

mathanxiety · 22/04/2024 21:51

Read this thread aloud at 10pm tonight.

Sit on the floor for greatest impact.

dutysuite · 22/04/2024 21:50

No way. Years ago I had awful neighbours, so much so that we ended up attending mediation, sadly the husband had recently had a stroke so his wife and unbelievably the mediators asked me to put my children to bed at 6pm as her husband liked to be bed for 7pm. I found this a totally unreasonable request and besides I was not going to live my life to fit in with my neighbours life!

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 22/04/2024 21:49

Counter offer 9 til 9 silence... Then play music til 11. They didn't mention singing....

mathanxiety · 22/04/2024 21:49

Utterly bonkers.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 22/04/2024 21:46

Tell them that you will stop talking at 9.45pm if they don't talk until 9am in the morning.

Thedogscollar · 22/04/2024 21:45

You have one minute @DoingTheMumThing101 😉
Your neighbours are nuts.

WhompingWillows · 22/04/2024 21:40

Only five minutes to carry on talking, everyone.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 22/04/2024 21:38

Herefishiefishie · 22/04/2024 17:02

Exactly this 😂

Show quote history

Perfect response.

isthesolution · 22/04/2024 21:36

Yeh I'd say 'oh I wondered if you could hear us as well. I apologise that we are disturbing you. The sound insulation most be horrendous- we can hear you quite loudly from 6am. We'll definitely be aware that the noise is carrying and hopefully you can do the same'

LauderSyme · 22/04/2024 21:35

This thread is funny! I am cackling loudly with mirth. Better fill my boots in the next ten minutes 😉

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