DD’s school constantly wanting money and donations

Thank you. Agreed.

She said "often" not "every". And I believe she has children with additional needs herself.

That's not what she was suggesting - you're miles wide of the mark here.

Absolutely this.

OP, just hop off the merry go round. Don't make any more contributions.

But first, research thoroughly, and if they are indeed strict in enforcing the 'pay to play' policy, write a scathing letter to the governors and the HT, and bcc your local MP.

Interruptions to routine are not optimal for SEN students.
Having children very obviously not wearing what everyone else is allowed to wear is cruel.

You might not have children in care at your daughter's school. @drspouse evidently has a different experience.

That really surprises me about a specialist school as often there is a significant proportion of children who are in care.

Pools cost a lot of money to run.

I do sympathise with you. Pay what you can, or don't pay at all.

But don't blame the school. They're trying to give your child the best experience they can and whilst they might not always get it right, it's not their fault they are not given enough money to do the job properly.

I'm a (mostly retired) teacher. I had a Headteacher that I couldn't stand...but one thing I agreed with was that he banned non-uniform days.

At our school, children were previously required to pay a pound for those. Some parents, quite rightly, told the school to stick it. We were in an area with "multiple indicators of deprivation".

That' really dreadful

'the children aren’t allowed to wear their own clothes in school that day if they don’t bring anything in'

Isn't that a bit like having to wear yellow star' ?... 😱

Go to M&S and ask them to donate a couple of bottles of wine and a box of chocolates. I don't know if they still do, but the floor managers used to have authority to give you about £25 quids worth of stuff just for asking.

The school really aren't going to say anything if on non-uniform day you don't send in a pound or whatever. You're trying to do the right thing but plenty of parents will simply forget the money (or prize), not have the cash, generally not be organised etc. I've never ever worked anywhere where even once every child has brought in a donation and I must have taught on dozens of charity days over the years.

The swimming pool I understand. It's rubbish but it will simply close if they can't fund it. Many schools have just completely closed their pools now because they cost too much to maintain. I was at a primary which paid for use of a secondary school pool for KS2 lessons. One day in the middle of a week it was announced the pool was closing as of the following day; they just could not afford it. The pool at my child's future school has had a floor put over it to make it into a classroom.

As another OP said upthread there are other ways to give outside of monetary.

can you volunteer some time to the school to help with organising, reading trips etc?

Maybe write to your MP about getting schools funded properly and copy the school in. You'd be very popular in our school if you did that.

That doesn't take away from the fact that many many families simply don't have the resources to make these donations though

What if they didn't pay anything, were they singled out? Some parents cannot afford to donate anything, the kids should not be punished for that

Do you all honestly think that schools want to or have the time to spend pleading with parents to help with fundraising by supporting raffles etc!
Last year we had no more money for pencils and the same will happen this year. Children were sharing pencils, one wrote a sentence then passed the pencil on. Without parental support there is no way they’ll be able to keep the pool running.

OP, I'm a teacher and have just run a charity money raising thing. The donations ranged between over £100 and 20p. I honestly can't remember who gave what. Every child who gave something was rewarded. Please don't worry about the teachers reacting badly to you. And don't make your financial life difficult for it.

Do let them know that they're going overboard with the reminders and pressure, though. That's too much, and if you feel worried by it then there will be others who do to. The school is under a lot of pressure because of the current funding situation.

I think a letter to the Head about "excessive expectations" and "punitive practices" wouldn't go amiss.

Give only what you can.

At one point we were on UC and my DD was in a school in a fairly affluent area .

requests for donations for raffles etc were common. School was great with my DD (with SEN) and I wanted to support but money very tight.

some mums were walking in with enormous boxes of chocolates or crates (I kid you not ) of Prosecco and Champaign etc… they had husbands with city jobs and lived in massive houses etc - money was genuinely no object to them.

My DD took in a little box of chocs from Poundland or home bargains etc - if wine, would be under a fiver from Asda.

Give what you can and if you can’t - tell them. They shouldn’t discriminate against your child. They knew money was tight as we had free school meals etc.

If £60 is too much, but you feel able to contribute a bit just send in £20 or whatever is achievable to you.

The one thing I could give the school was my time - so I would go in and listen to readers or help with trips or help in the library . Just as important as money and very appreciated by them.

Don’t feel bad if you can’t meet all the requests. You won’t be the first nor last to be finding money hard to find with cost of living etc.

@HOTD7383 Yes, but in your case, the school will be struggling to heat & maintain their pool. and any contribution will be valued.

the children aren’t allowed to wear their own clothes in school that day if they don’t bring anything in so obviously I do it to stop DD from being singled out.

This is not right.

I haven't read the rest and it doesn't matter, this really has to be stopped.