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AIBU?

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Original poster

Divorce maintenance payment extension?

36 replies

RestingWifeFace · 22/04/2024 14:39

Divorced for over 10 years and ex has been paying (parental and child) maintenance ever since we had the legal agreement put into place. Agreement states that it’s paid until the youngest child leaves secondary education. That time is coming very soon. AIBU to expect my ex to continue paying the/any maintenance all the time the children are living with me, even if it's not a legal requirement?

OP posts:
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RB68 · 22/04/2024 17:11

First hit on google attached on a .gov site so fairly reliable

missmollygreen · 22/04/2024 16:39

RestingWifeFace · 22/04/2024 14:52

Maybe if the youngest decides to go for further education

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Presumably not with the spousal maintenance though?

Original poster
RestingWifeFace · 22/04/2024 16:39

RB68 · 22/04/2024 16:28

Actually there is a requirement to 18 for education these days either in school, college or some sort of educational apprenticeship scheme, which even though that can be paid its minimal.

Thanks, do you have a reference to this? @RB68

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 22/04/2024 16:37

I would imagine it will stop when they leave secondary education at either 16/18. If they go to university, he might give some money directly to the student, but don’t believe he has to by law.

Livinghappy · 22/04/2024 16:34

It's poorly drafted but generally full time education is up to end of Alevels.

Child support maintenance will usually apply as long as Child Benefit is payable which is usually after Alevels. I think the last payment is August but not 100% of dates.

If the legal agreement does specify earlier then it's likely you could apply to the CMS for payments until dc finish Alevels.

Once they are post Alevels generally all payments the father chooses to contribute should go to the young person directly.

RB68 · 22/04/2024 16:28

Actually there is a requirement to 18 for education these days either in school, college or some sort of educational apprenticeship scheme, which even though that can be paid its minimal.

Original poster
RestingWifeFace · 22/04/2024 16:15

Bramshott · 22/04/2024 15:48

I guess it depends if both you and your ex understood "the end of secondary education" to mean 16 or 18. If your ex thinks it's the former because sixth form isn't "secondary" then I think you have a good case (morally, if not legally) to argue that kids don't become magically cheaper once they do their GCSEs.

Right, secondary education is up to 16. The agreement states that or youngest child turning 18, whichever is later. So the payments will stop before they finish full time education.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 22/04/2024 16:04

If you’re sure he’ll comply it’s unclear what you’re asking here.

mitogoshi · 22/04/2024 15:58

@TallulahBetty I know two one being me. It's not that uncommon when there's a major imbalance in earnings for specific reasons

PotatoPudding · 22/04/2024 15:54

TallulahBetty · 22/04/2024 15:52

I doubt very much that you know 3 women who have it for life - that is incredibly rare in the UK.

Edited
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It’s not court ordered but been agreed by both parties with a legally binding contract drawn up.

TallulahBetty · 22/04/2024 15:52

PotatoPudding · 22/04/2024 15:06

OP, ignore all the comments about spousal maintenance. I know three women who get it for life due to the major sacrifices they made for their husband’s careers or through being instrumental in their ex’s success.

I doubt very much that you know 3 women who have it for life - that is incredibly rare in the UK.

LetsGoRoundTheRoundabout · 22/04/2024 15:52

From my acquaintances, child support to 21 if in full time education (18 if not) is common, but it is often paid directly to the child after 18.

Spousal support, depends on the purpose and agreement. But generally I’d expect it to end at 18.

TallulahBetty · 22/04/2024 15:50

Spousal maintenance is rare in the UK. You've been fortunate to have it for so long, and you will have been told to prepare for this time, and improve your own earning potential before now.

Bramshott · 22/04/2024 15:48

I guess it depends if both you and your ex understood "the end of secondary education" to mean 16 or 18. If your ex thinks it's the former because sixth form isn't "secondary" then I think you have a good case (morally, if not legally) to argue that kids don't become magically cheaper once they do their GCSEs.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 22/04/2024 15:43

PotatoPudding · 22/04/2024 15:06

OP, ignore all the comments about spousal maintenance. I know three women who get it for life due to the major sacrifices they made for their husband’s careers or through being instrumental in their ex’s success.

Don't ignore those comments at all. Those women have clearly had a lifetime clause in their arrangements, the OP doesn't

Meadowfinch · 22/04/2024 15:41

Usually, both parents will give support money to a child attending university.

I doubt he'll continue to pay spousal maintenance. Both dcs are old enough to care for themselves.

Elektra1 · 22/04/2024 15:38

If he agrees to pay for tertiary education, or if it's in the order that he has to, great. If neither of those applies, he won't have to.

Usually the paying parent supports the "child" directly when they're at university instead of paying the money to the other parent, since the "child" is by then an "adult".

You've done well to have spousal maintenance for ten years!

Original poster
RestingWifeFace · 22/04/2024 15:28

All, thanks for feedback. Currently working self-employed. I'll hope ex will contribute if there's further education.

OP posts:
PotatoPudding · 22/04/2024 15:06

OP, ignore all the comments about spousal maintenance. I know three women who get it for life due to the major sacrifices they made for their husband’s careers or through being instrumental in their ex’s success.

Newbutoldfather · 22/04/2024 15:05

It doesn’t work that way.

At 18, adults (not children) can legally provide for themselves. If in further education, they are expected to use a loan and work in the long holidays.

Now, of course, that is a bit of a crappy situation compared to when I was young, so decent parents help out with expenses by giving money directly to their children. And, of course, if they live with you full time, one of those expenses is rent and board at your house.

So, nothing obligatory at all and, if your ExH does the right thing by helping his adult children out, you can then charge a fair amount for their board and lodging.

CamoPenguin · 22/04/2024 15:01

Spousal maintenance after more than 10 years, absolutely not. That's a very long time to have had to support someone too, I'm surprised it was mandated to go on for that long.
With children it depends if they go straight into work or stay in education. The former, I'd be expecting them to contribute themselves, the latter, both parents should be contributing towards supporting them.

Bluevelvetsofa · 22/04/2024 15:01

If you’ve been divorced for 10 years, have you been working since then or a SAHM? If so, I’d be thinking about getting into employment now, but if you are working already, is that not enough to live on.

Livinghappy · 22/04/2024 14:58

I can't see why you would have a case for child maintenance once they have finished A levels. If they go to Uni then they will mostly live away.

Spousal maintenence is supposed to assist with helping transition to a financiallt independent life. Have you been able to work in last few years?

TiptoeTess · 22/04/2024 14:57

Do you work? How have you prepared towards this point since your divorce, and how long ago was that?