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Original poster

Invited friend extending invitation.

146 replies

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 22/04/2024 14:20

Hi, I invited a friend to come and stay for a long weekend. She'll be travelling around 400 miles/under 2 hour flight if that helps.

She has extended the invitation to Mabel.

There was no invitation for Mabel.

Mabel is her Maltese dog.

We don't have pets and live in a small two bed.

I think this is quite rude as I now have to be the bad one "uninviting" Mabel.

Do pet owners assume this when they get an invitation?

Her reply has brought back memories I'd forgotten of her cf behaviour from when she visited 3 years ago
.
She was then meant to leave on the Sunday evening, but when I started preparing to say goodbye, she announced she'd now leave on Monday instead because of made up xyz. Poured herself a glass of wine and spread out on the sofa.
DH and I had been looking forward to a relaxing evening but figured she must be going through stuff and couldn't really throw her out.

She left after we'd got back from work. Can't believe it as I write it!
And regretting extending the invitation.

Goes without saying, I used to be a people pleaser. How do I say no without looking like the bad one, which is her intention?

I being U to say No?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Onetiredbeing · 22/04/2024 15:31

This is so wrong really. Why do people think it's the same as a child coming too? I would just decline, because if she can be so rude about this then I'm sure she's going to do other CF stuff when she comes.

EdithStourton · 22/04/2024 15:29

She's being a CF.

I have dogs, but I'd never take them to stay with anyone without making 100% certain that they were genuinely welcome.

JanglingJack · 22/04/2024 15:09

It wouldn't bother me... I don't think. I'd be happy to gave Mabel as long as toilet trained!

Is she putting Mabel in the hold? That's very unfair on Mabel.

I suggest she doesn't come due to putting Mabel through unnecessary stress.

Creeperofhabit · 22/04/2024 15:04

@paintingvenice I had a hamster called that once! I think my dog might be rather insulted by it though Wink

purplecorkheart · 22/04/2024 14:40

Honestly, I would uninvite them both. Hi CF, I am very sorry but something is after happening and we are unable to host you and Mabel on such a weekend or for the near future. I will be in touch soon when we are back in a position to host and we will fix a date then. Sorry about that. Talk soon

extrahelpingoftorysleaze · 22/04/2024 14:38

Jellyx · 22/04/2024 14:31

Just reply to her and say ''oh I forgot about Mabel, are you able to get a dog sitter for that weekend or we can arrange another date that suits''

Then just don't arrange another date 😂 as there's no way she'll get a dog sitter.

This!!

Harvestfestivalknickers · 22/04/2024 14:36

Yes, just keep it short and clear that she cannot bring the dog. Don't give complicated reasons why, which she'll try and get around. Just say sorry, we can't accommodate Mabel, we understand if that means you can't come.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 22/04/2024 14:33

Dog lover here
No way would i assume dog was invited

ovals · 22/04/2024 14:31

Why would it be a pet owner rather than a your friend thing?

First reply is perfect.

Jellyx · 22/04/2024 14:31

Just reply to her and say ''oh I forgot about Mabel, are you able to get a dog sitter for that weekend or we can arrange another date that suits''

Then just don't arrange another date 😂 as there's no way she'll get a dog sitter.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 22/04/2024 14:29

If you knew she'd be travelling with her dog then presumably you'd have known she'd be bringing it to your house, so I'm going to assume she left that part out.

I'd just say you didn't realise she was travelling with Mabel, and you don't want a dog staying so unfortunately she'll need to adjust her plans. You don't even need to justify it.

paintingvenice · 22/04/2024 14:29

Creeperofhabit · 22/04/2024 14:27

As a dog owner I'd never assume this. I'd not ask either. Sometimes people may assume I am bringing the dog as I am single and have usually lived alone, so I might say 'I'll see if I can get a dog sitter' and quite often people will reply and say 'Oh no It's fine, fluffbutt can come!' but I'd never assume.

If your dog was actually called Fluffbutt I’d insist you brought them

exomoon · 22/04/2024 14:29

YANBU, she is a CF. Do you even want her to visit? I would just cancel, say it no longer works for you.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 22/04/2024 14:28

Please be blunt and polite ASAP - state reasons EG you are allergic etc but loving to see you, but sorry not the dog

YANBU

Creeperofhabit · 22/04/2024 14:27

As a dog owner I'd never assume this. I'd not ask either. Sometimes people may assume I am bringing the dog as I am single and have usually lived alone, so I might say 'I'll see if I can get a dog sitter' and quite often people will reply and say 'Oh no It's fine, fluffbutt can come!' but I'd never assume.

HermioneWeasley · 22/04/2024 14:26

The dog doesn’t know so it isn’t you “uninviting Mabel”

just tell her she can’t bring the dog, and that she needs to leave at the agreed time this time as you have another commitment

sonjadog · 22/04/2024 14:26

This is not a pet owner thing, she is just rude and presumptive. Write back and tell her you do not allow pets in your house. Make up a fur allergy if you have trouble just saying no.

Amberjane41 · 22/04/2024 14:23

Why did you invite her in the first place?? Doesn’t sound like you like her that much!
Just tell her she can’t bring the dog and see how it goes from there I guess?

Haydenn · 22/04/2024 14:22

She just sounds like a CF all round to be honest. I don’t think this is a pet owner thing. Dunno why you’re friends with her TBH

coconutpie · 22/04/2024 14:22

YANBU. Tell her the dog will not be welcome so she is not to bring it. If she can no longer visit, you understand. Your friend is a total CF.

IncompleteSenten · 22/04/2024 14:21

What did she say? How did she put it?

Best reply is to follow on from whatever she said

Eg sorry, I think there's been a misunderstanding, your dog can't come. If this means you have to cancel, I understand. We can rearrange for a time you can get a dogsitter

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