To be sad neither of my kids are very ambitious

If someone can live on £25k and be comfortable and not stressed out about cash, then yes. I think most people living on that amount of money wouldn’t say they don’t stress tough. Theres threads here everyday with people struggling and they’re already living frugally.

Lots of things in life are easier said than done - it's not a reason to give up on a career you love at sixteen!

I think I would focus on your daughter: your son has much better prospects, sooner, as a joiner. Early years childcare is a minimum wage job with minimal prospects for the majority. Has your daughter been exposed to other career paths working with children eg paediatric SALT, OT, physio, child psychologist, art therapist, primary teacher? Am assuming you’ve talked her through the pathway of becoming a paediatric nurse.

Often easier said than done. Retraining whilst working is hard. Retraining with hardly any money coming in if you’re not working is hard. Add kids and other life stresses in, it’s not just as easy as saying I’ll just retrain.

Earning 25k doesn't necessarily mean you can't meet your basic needs. It all depends on your lifestyle, location and what you want out of life.

If her children will enjoy working in childcare or joinery then they should absolutely be encouraged in that. It doesn't mean they're stuck with it forever.

If you don’t have enough money to meet your basic needs, it’s stressful. No one is going to be super happy in that situation as you’re always worrying how you’re going to afford things. It doesn’t matter how much you love your job if you can’t afford the basics.

So if they don't feel like they earn enough down the line ,they can always re-train and do something else. The career path you pick at 16 or 18 isn't permanent.

IMO, getting up and doing a job you love everyday is a pretty rare thing - I'm bloody grateful that I get to do it.

And not for others. Particularly if they’re doing work they love.

Earning a low wage can be the cause of stress and in time depression for some people.

I mean, I've done just that.

Because protecting my mental health and happiness is more important than earning lots of money.

YABU - for 15 year olds they are already very switched on and have sound ambitions. As PP mentioned there is a great demand for useful trades and work experiences out there that people are prepared to pay for. Also the training your children receive via their apprenticeships could lead to greater opportunities further down the line.

Many people I've known over the years went to university because at 18 they still didn't know what they wanted to do, or their friends were going to uni or their parents pestered them into going to uni. Most of those people then got their degrees and did nothing tangible with them.

These days, some employers have little interest in whether or not employees have a degree as these qualifications either don't add anything to the job role or are totally unnecessary.

Yeah there are a whole host of careers working with children where she will need direct work of working with children to get into. I got interested in this too late and have realised I am now excluded from these as I cannot afford to go back to the low level of wage of front line work to gather that experience. So I think its great she is getting this experience at this stage of her life.

So OP, don't listen to the doomsayers about the childcare apprenticeship being a crap choice, those poster just don't know much about variety and breadth of the careers market related to children. It really will open a huge range of potential careers, so just do some research to help your daughter broaden her horizons about what is open to her once to has some experience under her belt.

It’s only harder if you’re a parent. Working lives are very long and she wouldn’t be the first or last mature student, she’d also have a lot more clarity about what she wants with more life experience.

Ah fair enough. I didn’t realise that. I was just thinking of frontline practice.

My family wanted me to be more ambitious and I burnt myself out seeking their approval.

I wish I'd just gone into a trade someone will always need like hair or plastering or something like that, that can always be transferred with me where-ever I go, or I could start my own business and control my own environment.

There's more to life than money. Happiness is also important.

So this is the thing...

It's all well and good saying "it's their lives, let them be" etc. but they are children. At this age they absolutely need guidance. I don't know much about potential careers in joinery so can't really comment there. In terms of childcare though, I think your DD is out of her mind.

It's so easy to go into childcare at any age, if that's what she REALLY wants to do, but if she doesn't use this time now to really engage her brain and use it to explore other opportunities now then she may lose out on so much, and inevitably it'll be you she blames for 'letting' her effectively drop out of education.

That's not to say that if she isn't challenged and gets bored, or finds that she can't live on a wage solely from childcare that she can't go back to college or university at a later date and do something else, but my goodness, it is SO much harder.

yabu
I have a friend who started off in childcare and ended up as a senior manager in midwifery and decent chippies are worth their weight in gold...and that's if he keeps to plain carpentry and doesn't go into something like fitted furniture. I know this thing about wanting the best for your children and I get that but to me it sounds like you aren't valuing the people they are.

They are both setting themselves up to earn money, gain valuable skills, experience and qualifications and you are disappointed with that?

Professional development doesn't stop at one qualification you achieve when you're 18!

Maybe they're sick of the institutionalised education system they've been in since being toddlers.

You're kids will be way ahead in the employability and earnings stakes than their peers who decide to do another 2-5 years of education in college then university.

Stop being a snob and do some self led careers research in their chosen industries!

Possibly, the plumber we know does earn well, but he works crazy long hours and now he’s getting older he’s finding it hard going. He’s told his own kids to not do a trade.

Yeah, but you can work your way up to a strategic/ management role in a Local Authority and earn ok money - with a good pension. Or go into EY research/ academia etc. There are options beyond frontline practice ( which is very poorly paid and limiting)

You'll never be rich but there are proper careers in Early Years which are really interesting and satisfying, which she could develop into. If I had my time over, I would do this.

I bet he is very significantly richer than a lot of academic university graduates.

Don’t be a ‘pushy’ one OP. It will drive your kids further away. It’s really damaging to be a pushy parent.

No need for any ‘gentle’ talks with them. They would like to do apprenticeships which is very sensible and dare I say, aspirational.

I think all you can do is make sure they have fully considered their options. Ask them what careers they predict these choices will make for them - do they know what their max earning potential is, will this suit the other choices they want for their lives (mortgages, kids costs, holidays retirement ages etc). Then ask them to consider the alternatives - if they go to uni will that change what their earning potential would be in those same careers? Would it develop the careers? Eg what about early years teaching instead of childcare or a business degree alongside joinery skills.
There are many ways to be happy and successful, your responsibility is just to ensure they've made informed choices.
Appreciate you want them to do well because you love them but who knows what will lead to a happy life?

Senior Professional in a law firm here. Director / Partner level. Postgraduate qualification.

My "less intelligent" cousin is a builder, left school at 16 and now out earns me considerably.

He also has a property portfolio he rents out to my one house, staff he employs and I'm pretty sure he's a local Mason (wink nudge wink side hussle).

Just saying.

I'd more worried about childcare as a degree option to be honest. But an honest practical trade. As someone who had to wait 10 months for a bloody joiner to make some cupboards, I'd say it's a sensible choice.

I do know what you mean -DS seems to have had his ambition less dented by peers and school than our daughters - though DD1 is at uni but by skin of her teeth but looking a high education low paid lots of volunteering sector.

MN always seems to play up trade professions - as if everyone it it is rolling in it - yet half our family is in various trades and while they made a decent living - DH education and career gives us a better income and less stress on him. That following his Dad a builder advice - if you have the brains use them to get a better job with better prospects and not have knacked joints and doing backbreaking work in all weathers.

Having said that I agree with other posters focus on the positives they got apprenticeship - they can get more education and move up in future if they choose. Trying to force them to go a direction they don't want will likely just cause resentment.