To be sad neither of my kids are very ambitious

Why are you assuming that working in a lower paid role automatically equals living in a cold flat with no money for food?

There are couples up and down the country who earn no more than the minimum wage each and who manage to have a perfectly reasonable quality of life. Of course it's miserable if you can't afford food or heating, but that can happen regardless of your income, tbh. You only need to read the threads on here from higher earners who are struggling to make ends meet.

Are they happy? Do they have friends? Hobbies/ interests? Are they decent human beings? Ambition is so much more than a job. I would much rather have my kids well rounded, following interests and with a job that is less academic/ high earning tbh

No Modern Srudies has been around for years, I did my o grade and higher 36 years ago.

They both sound like secure ways to go to me to be honest!!

These trite cliches sound great. But it’s shit living in a cold studio flat wondering how you will have enough money to feed yourself. Never mind trying to settle down with a family.

People who think ‘money doesn’t bring happiness’ have rarely experienced poverty.

@bahck

1. We are women (or men) not girls.
2. Start your own thread in Relationships or the Sex board as posters here will be responding to the OP and her unambitious teens.

@easylikeasundaymorn

https://www.myjobscotland.gov.uk/councils/city-edinburgh-council/jobs/early-years-officer-flora-stevenson-primary-school-376252 £30,751 - £36,312 for early years officer with HNC qualification

https://www.myjobscotland.gov.uk/councils/highland-council/jobs/early-years-practitioner-35hpw-2-posts-drakies-primary-school-inverness-376024
£20,865 - £25,623 per year without HNC qualification

There are people on here earning 50 or 100k who are struggling too. Earning a massive salary really isn't the be all and end all that you're trying to convince yourself it is.

The fact remains that of people on low wages are struggling to afford to eat, heat their homes, provide for their kids etc. Even those that live frugally. They’re not having a ‘great life’.

To be honest my Daughter is 15 and the main message we tell her is find something to do that you enjoy or that interests you, find something you love and you'll never work a day in your life, I just want her to be happy, you could be a lawyer and be sad and hate the job, the most successful person is the one walking down the street with a smile on their face.

Many 15 year olds have no idea what they want to do, most don't unless you're one of those that wanted to be a vet / doctor from aged 3.

There's a huge difference between talking to your kids about their future incomes and (in OP's own words) feeling "sad" and like they're "wasting their potential" because they're going down the apprenticeship route instead of a degree.

And BTW my parents didn't say "great idea" to everything, but they did support me and encouraged me to do what makes me happy, and I'm eternally grateful for that. I have a great life, no money worries and get to do what I love every single day. I think I'm bloody lucky, personally, despite my low income.

It’s not unpleasant and dismissive to make sure your kids are aware they might be stuck earning a low wage forever and how that will impact their life. I’m glad my kids are taught to think decisions through, listen to us, research themselves and then make an informed choice. rather than have parents that just say ‘great idea’ to everything.

Perhaps you and your DH haven’t inspired them to do “more”?

Perhaps they are disappointed to have non inspirational parents.

I wouldn't worry too much about the DS, carpentry and joinery is in demand and has decent earning potential especially if he has a bit of business nouse.

Perhaps gently encourage your DD to consider other adjacent options as nursery nursing can be poor money with limited prospects. Things like paediatric nursing, midwifery, early years teaching might be worth exploring. However it is her choice and while you can present options and discuss prospects you shouldn't pressure her.

As a teacher I understand your pain of watching capable students underachieve but if it's what they want and what they have their hearts set on not much you can do apart from keep chatting to them

I under you want them to do "better" than you , but maybe your are excellent hardworking role models and they want to be like you ? It's a compliment really

Its likely they will have several careers over their lifetime. Personally I think following your passions rather than money is a better recipe for happiness. It sounds like they will always have options. Have faith in them.

You could be very wrong , they are very likely to get good careers from doing an apprenticeship and they won't have the millstone round their necks of student loans.
My very bright son who hated college did an apprenticeship 10 years ago, he earns a lot ! and the longer he works in his field the higher his wages will be and he can work anywhere around the world.

I'm really glad my parents weren't so unpleasant and dismissive about my career and life choices.

I think joinery is a good move. Every wealthy person I know is a ‘tradesman’. He could earn a fortune. But I totally agree about the career in childcare. It’s crap money for a lot of work and responsibility.

Well, everyone is different, but for many people, a career they love is more important than a large salary.

Either way, it's not fair to be "disappointed" in a sixteen year old for picking a career they love over one that will (potentially) make them lots of money.

While Carpentry and Childcare provision are in demand, I do think you are right to be concerned that they are slightly young to be making the decisions they have. They both seem to be able, so for the sake of two years it might be best to encourage them to stay at school to do Highers.

Once they have those qualifications, if they still choose to go down their current career paths it is likely that apprenticeships will still be there and they can apply for them. However, it will be a lot easier to go to Uni or change their plans if their choices at 18 do not work out, because by doing Highers they will have a higher level of general education to fall back on.

Just as university is expensive, it can be expensive to retrain if you do not have the correct qualifications and want to be able to go to University at a later date. You can also become very dependent on the income derived from working, and studying when you are working is a lot more difficult. You are right to be concerned about their decisions and should discuss these aspects with them.

She hasn’t even got the apprenticeship yet by the sound of it, it’s hardly a career she loves. 😅

*though