To be sad neither of my kids are very ambitious

You are not being unreasonable - it's perfectly reasonable to feel sad when your ungrateful spawn head happily out into the world without realising they're headed for life of minimum wage.

However, your daughter in childcare can build up qualifications on the job, which can open doors to other careers related to children.

Your son will have a trade which will keep him employed pretty much always, and a skill and talent.

On the bright side you can look forward to a future filled with grandchildren in the kitchen - which of course will be a top notch one built by your son.

All credit to you, for raising a daughter who loves children, and a son who is not afraid of hard work - that makes you an amazing mum.

I hear you. I think your son will potentially have a fulfilling, possibly creative and maybe lucrative career, but childcare generally is limited in potential, albeit extremely needed and highly valued in an individual child’s life. We always want better for our children.

I think I’d be happy if my kids were happy. Just a note though … one of the dads whose DD went to my DD’s dancing school was a roofer, started his own company. Sent all 4 of his kids to private school, drove fancy car, had big house and ended up moving from Yorkshire to London. Multi millionaire now. Depends where their priorities are, if they love what they do they’ll do well, regardless.

Sounds like they have both picked something that they will enjoy. That's the most important thing.

Higher earning does not automatically equal happy life. If they're going for things that will make them happy, be happy about that.

I did the high achievement at school thing, A Levels, uni etc. But slogging my guts out for money made me miserable. Doing something I enjoy and having good balance in my life is amazing. Wish I knew that in my teenage years when I did what I was "supposed" to.

Sorry but I find this a very sad read. You have happy, healthy children. That should be all that matters. Anything else is a bonus!

Are they happy? If so why does it matter? I’ve always thought I would be happy if my kids worked a minimum wage 9-5 as long as they are happy

I don't know many people in childcare, but I know 2 brothers who both did joinery after they left school. They are now joint owners in what started as a kitchen making business, they also have an interiors team and have 6 employees and are both very much sought after and very well to do. My cousin also done joinery and he has his own business aswell, although smaller, and he also is doing very well financially. I know not everyone will be as successful, but joinery isn't a bad trade to get into

My DD did an apprenticeship. She now earns more than I do, is incredibly well qualified in her industry, has been head-hunted for her skills and is buying her first property. A great set achievements for her age (22). Who knows where an apprenticeship can take you if you love the work, are good at it and have a family that support you in your choices?

Great trade! I trained to be a nursery nurse NNEB when I left school. I worked in a school for five years and went on to train as a teacher via a BE,d. I wouldn't advise my dd to train in childcare now. It's not a well respected or well paid job sadly.

I'd have no problem with a son doing a trade apprenticeship but I'd not be happy for my daughter to train for a minimum wage job.

Work done by predominantly women is notoriously badly paid. Absolutely wrong of course but I'd make sure my daughter knew how tough things will be for her financially.

I'd encourage her to do primary school teacher training. Much better paid.

Get a couple of quotes for some fitted wardrobes. It will immediately ease your concerns that joiners are low earners.

I would encourage both of them to do highers. The apprenticeship can be something they decide on at 18.
Some women in my child's nursery have come into it after doing teaching, rearing their own family and other things. It will always be an option.
Joinery sounds like an interesting option but surely there's no hurry?
Would it be possible for them to do a week's work experience in these roles?

I imagine a joinery apprenticeship will make decent money in the end ... I'd be pushing your DD to go into one of the trades though. Childcare doesn't pay well - unless she wants to go and train to be a Norton Nanny? I think they earn around £80k

@kaben He is, none of my family went to Uni, The best one is my nephew joined the RAF on a vehicle and mechanical technicians apprenticeship spent 6 months in the Falkland Islands last year servicing Land rovers and has just been promoted to Corporal

I'll be brave and admit.....im disappointed too. My kids don't want to do anything medical. They both find it gross. I'm medical and reeeeeally wanted them both (or at least one) to be in to the same or similar career.

There I said it 🤣

If you don’t have a partner, it’s not easy living as a single person on minimum wage. Not everyone is in a couple.

It's very easy as a teenage girl to think that going for the low paid job is fine as they'll just marry someone better off. But what if they don't meet anyone? What if they do and something happens and that person ends up ill, disabled or just an abusive twat who they need to leave?

The fact is that women are more likely to end up on their own and having to feed the kids out of their wages. Whilst I'm sure many of you on here believe that people in poverty can be happy... as someone who grew up that way it's not the loving bundle of laughs that some think it is. It is miserable, cold and you are always hungry and stressed.

Who wants that life for their child? Let alone any children that child might have?

OP she's a bloody fool for jacking in education at 16 if she's got the brains to go further. Despite the bollocks on here about millionaire builders and nanny's to the stars, the reality is that your son may well make an ok living, but your daughter is likely to be stuck in a dead end, low paid job with few prospects and will spend her life trying to make ends meet.

Love this.

Plus don't forget OP, the pandemic was big for them. Let them choose their own way.

It doesn’t make me feel better. It’s awful that minimum wage jobs or those paying not much more, mean people are struggling to live. It’s also shit that such an important role such as caring for children often isn’t valued in terms of salary paid. However, we’ve got a responsibility as parents to be realistic with our teens/young adults as to the difficulties and stresses they may face when they enter a career that often pays badly.

I think the majority agree that being a joiner isn’t cause for concern. It’s the childcare that people are more cautious of.

My in laws said this about my DH when he started his apprenticeship in the building trade . He later retrained in something else and retired at 55 when he was earning just under 200k per year.

As a good joiner your DS will be rolling in it, my mate has a joinery business, just him, making and fitting bespoke kitchens, wardrobes etc, rolling in it.

Aheievement isn't just academic (and I say that as a physics teacher) there are massive shortages in trades, and good tradesmen make a very good living, most of my former pupils who went on to be lawyers, doctors etc.. are well paid but stressed out and working all hours, those who ended up in the trades all seem to be cleaning up - one former pupil of mine who is a plumber (south east) was recently taking a couple of months off so as not to go over £100K in the financial year.

A joiner can earn More than a nurse

1. Just because you've found some jobs that pay better doesn't also mean there aren't lots of jobs that pay less
2. ...and ironically those jobs you've given as examples don't pay better. The second job actually DOES work out at £11.40 at the starting salary (£20865/52 weeks/35hrs a week). The first one is pro rata - the £30k salary would be for full time but the hours are only 21 a week so the actual salary would only be c£17.5k. So still no "ELP salaries starting from £32k"!
3. To get the higher pay you have to have the HNC qualification...to get that you need to go to college for a year AND have an entry level qualification or highers....which is exactly what I said to OP - that even if they want to stay in those careers and do apprenticeships they would benefit from getting additional qualifications first THEN deciding rather than leaving school at 16.

I'm not pretending

But if it makes you feel better to believe that, crack on I guess.