To be sad neither of my kids are very ambitious

I agree. They’re only 15, and they know what they want to do, I’d be delighted.

Both of your children have apprenticeships lined up so at least they aren’t lazy!

I’ll admit that I would be a bit disappointed if my child wanted to go into childcare, not because I look down on it as a career, but because it’s hard work and severely underpaid so I would be worried about their future. But ultimately if that’s what your daughter wants to do and she’s passionate about it then so be it.

As for joinery, obviously it’s a blue collar job so not as academic as law or medicine or whatever but my understanding is that trades are in high demand and short supply so could actually be quite lucrative in the long run? I know some very well-off electricians, plumbers, roofers, etc. If your son prefers hands-on work then pushing himself to go to university would not be a smart move.

It's fine for anyone to do it that doesn't mind living on the breadline.

As long as they are aware of what jobs they can go on to get, and what kind of salaries they are looking at, the lifestyle this will give them. If they are happy with all of that then that's brilliant. If they think they wouldn't be happy and would want more, then need to aim for more.

But probably well aware of the earning potential of a child care provider.

I bow down to your superior knowledge, I was just trying to convey that most likely for some professions you have an ambition from a young age, but others you fall into & so I'd always encourage a trade or apprenticeship, it can literally open the world to you

oh dear... your poor children!

they are high achievers at school.. they have choosen the field they wish to progress in and yet still you are disappointed in them!

i opened this thread thinking i was going to hear a story of 'my child won't go to school, refuses to do exams, takes drugs, drinks til all hours and mixes with the wrong crowd!'

being a parent and supporting a child isn't about you, its about them.. My youngest is just finished her 3rd degree in childcare, her speciality is SEND children under the age of 11! her job is a very specialist role, and it started with her doing a childcare apprenticeship.

how judegemental of you that 'doing childcare' is a lowly low paid job!! shame one you... talk to her, ask her what her end goal is and it might just surprise you.

my son in law did an apprenticeship in engineering.... he earned over the space of 3 weeks, after tax... £16,000! if thats low paid then i really do wonder?

give your head a shake

My husband is a carpenter. Started his own business 25 years ago. He’s extremely ambitious and driven. It’s given us a very comfortable lifestyle. We own our own home outright and have done since our mid thirties. His sister has 2 degrees and does earn very well but we are on par financially. Manual work isn’t less , it doesn’t mean someone lacks ambition and can’t earn as well.

Your son could go on to earn a good wage. I’d be more concerned about your daughter as childcare pay/conditions aren’t often very good. I wouldn’t be disappointed as such and money isn’t everything, but life is so much easier if you have a decent income.

I’d be a bit sad if my kids didn’t push themselves a bit but you have to let them make their own choices. If they’re happy, that’s important. Life has lots of twists and turns, they’re so young, lots could change yet.

I take it you’re unaware of the earning potential of a joiner then?

Agree with pps - joinery sounds fantastic and based on your DS’s predictions it looks like he has a real aptitude for it. I think trades are an excellent choice - can be very well-paid, flexible, rewarding, can really turn off at the end of the day. You should be proud!

And of your daughter too of course but I do agree with others that childcare is so low paid. If she stayed on a little longer she could aim for a degree that gave her more options in childcare and it sounds like she would be academically capable of that. Perhaps talk it through with her a bit more.

OP I understand what you mean, but having gone to a top uni myself, I now see (late 30s) that it really doesn't necessarily mean anything. People can do all sorts of different things with different backgrounds. I know a couple of people who are doing basically nothing / had a breakdown / are SAHPs / have low paying jobs who went to Oxbridge... then I know people who coasted through school and low level uni, getting average grades, who are now earning big bucks as they suddenly became ambitious in their early-mid twenties. And everything in between.

The builder who helped with our house lives in a mansion in the next village - much nicer/bigger house than ours.

As long as your kids are happy and working hard, that's all I'd worry about for now. Top uni really isn't the be all and end all, trust me.

DH is a pilot and would very happily go back to being an electrician again..! He is seriously considering it. Better money, better hours, don’t have to be away from home 24/7, less stress - I could go on!

My friend started as a joiner, now owns his own carpentry business at 31 and had 5 employees, He lives VERY comfortably. It could be the start of a great career!

YABVU - if they both work hard then they will have excellent salary potential in those subjects. Far better than going to uni and getting into 5 figures of debt doing a ‘mickey mouse’ subject with little career prospects. Your DS will be earning a lot with joinery, trades are very in demand. Re: your DD nannies (if that’s the route she decides to go down) can travel all over the world with families and earn great money

Joinery fine, I started out there. I don't earn much, which is by choice, I went on to train further and have taught, I could earn a lot more if I chose to. It"s a good profession.

Childcare, one of my DDs works in childcare, she has always wanted to, but with 10 grade 9 GCSEs we encouraged her to do A levels. It was a shit show, she was stressed, made herself ill and failed all 3. So she is now working in childcare. I don't know, the pay is terrible, she'll struggle to support herself. All she wants is to have her own children and be a mum. I worry for her.

I will be encouraging my son (6) into an apprenticeship... unless he has a clear career path he wants to pursue, like a doctor/pilot blah? I know so many of my peers who have wasted their time earning useless degrees & have successful careers in completely different industries, it's ridiculous, getting into debt for no reason?

Also I think it's unfair to expect a 17 year old to know what they want from life, your kids sound very sensible actually

Have you spoken to them about what it is about those jobs that interests them? Could your dd look into something like developmental psychology for example?

There's no need to be sad. My youngest dropped out and he has a higher than average IQ. Did various jobs and then decided, at 25, he needed to grow up. Has a first class degree and everything, to add on since, has been distinction. At 38 he is doing extremely well. Will never be a very high earner because his career is NHS although he is looking at emigrating.

Quite honestly it sound like they have their heads screwed on and have opportunities lined up. I’d be proud of my DC if they do this when they are the same age.

i would definitely encourage staying to do highers if they're reasonably academic.

Nothing wrong at all with an apprenticeship, can work out very well. But they're young - having highers opens up more options if they change their minds. No harm in further year or two of school then apprenticeship/college/uni at 17/18.

I can't answer for Scotland, but here in England two of the most well off men I know are a bespoke joiner and a cabinet maker.

So it's fine for someone else to do it?

I deal with trades daily, they earn far more than me or my kids. I wish I had encouraged them that way rather than academics.

In a way I think studying joining is possibly putting your son on a better career path than academia! So many people struggle to work after uni. His earnings could be fantastic. And imagine all the great things he will be able to create for himself and you as well!