To be sad neither of my kids are very ambitious

Hmm, DH teaches A level and sees many children pushed into careers that they are not suited for. Mainly medicine.

When my children have made decisions I wouldn't necessarily have done, they have always been right. They know themselves better than we do.

They are only fifteen. I think they are doing jolly well, and being sensible. The jobs for which they are going to train don't have to be forever, people have career changes later on. In the meantime, they will be earning if not huge salaries and, who knows, they may earn quite well after some experience.

Please don't worry, be proud. They know what they are doing.

I remember when I was doing A levels in college alongside about 90% of school friends, we all planned to go to Uni, just seemed the right route. There was a few whoever who went into apprenticeships and they obviously had money before we did, they had their own cars, bought houses before us, had a nice set up whilst the rest of us were writing essays at midnight, working minimum wage jobs all weekends and then straight out on the town. “It will all pay off in the end” we told ourselves. In all honesty, I’m not sure it has. I’m 36 and still have 10k student loan to repay, I’m an average earner. I do a job that absolutely doesn’t need a degree. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend Uni unless there was a guaranteed professional role at the end

Most social climbing, 'aspirational', insecure, lower middle class mumsnetters think their 'talented' little Paul or Paula is destined for the glittering heights of a top university and then on to a high status, highly paid, six figure professional career but I suspect very few actually make it there as they don't have the social capital.

In this case, the lad doesn't want to piss about at university and has chosen to get a craft trade just like like his father, whereas the daughter has decided likewise and has chosen to train up in the pre school childcare sector. She is not that dissimilar to her mum who probably did an old school nursing diploma.

Looks like you and your DH inspire them. Which is sweet.

It’s so much better to study or take on something you enjoy, find interesting or love. There are so many places you can go career wise once you’ve nailed down a skill. I think it’s important to encourage people who want to take on actual jobs as more and more people want to just make money or become a content creator without learning a valid skill.

I agree.

Thomas Gray, a while ago, expressed my attitude better than I could:

Let not Ambition mock their useful toil,
Their homely joys, and destiny obscure;
Nor Grandeur hear with a disdainful smile
The short and simple annals of the Poor.

The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power,
And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave
Awaits alike th' inevitable hour:—
The paths of glory lead but to the grave.

-- I was never ambitious, but - now my life's almost over - can truly say I have lived a wonderful, happy and fulfilled life, which would have been unlikely had I been at all ambitious. My unambitious grown-up children are happy, as are my grandchildren.

Have a look round at really ambitious people. Would you really like your child to grow up to be like Boris Johnson, for instance? (Urgh!)

Theyre only 15.

That’s exactly what she’s worried about - their future health and happiness! Work on the tools out in the weather can be hard on the body and joints and childcare is generally low paid and tough work - it’s difficult to be healthy and happy if you’re struggling to make ends meet and worrying about paying the bills, in a way that these young kids don’t really appreciate yet. Of course as their mother all she wants is the best healthiest happiest life they can get!

I think at 15 & having apprenticeships lined up is very ambitious & I'd be encouraging my kids to go for it & would be proud of them both for having an idea of what they'd like to do in life. Both Childcare & Joinery are skills that can lead into high paid jobs or self employment so to say they'll never be in high paid work is rubbish. Be proud of them & their choices & support them. If they go into jobs they find interesting the chances are they enjoy them & thrive where as if you push them into a career they don't have any interest in they'll resent having to work & will be miserable.

My dh told ds to stick in at school and don’t do what he did, he told him to get a career rather than a trade. Ds always wanted to be an accountant well that and a taxi driver (when he was 4)

Ive wracked my brains with all my friends and colleagues and none have followed in their parents footsteps.

I think the subject choices largely aren’t ‘conventionally’ academic ones. Which is fine of course. But may not be the ones needed for the ‘top’ professions if continued to university. Maybe that’s what the poster meant.

I understand your disappointment. We tried our best to convince our only daughter to stay on and do A-levels with a view to maybe going to University to buy her time to decide what career path she wanted to follow, or even skip University but at least get A-levels first to widen her options in the future. However my daugher, like your daughter decided she wanted a career in childcare, and after 'playing devils advocate' trying to test her commitment to this, she convinced us this was what she wanted to do, and did a 2 year Early Years course in child development (apparently equivalent to 'A' level standard) and once finished the course walked into a role at the nursery where she did her practical experience as part of the course, then after 6 months applied for another nursery with better conditions, and has been happily working there for the past 2 years 😀 - the only issue she has is that it is extremely tiring at times, but she has never complained about her choice, and at least she didnt build up any University debt (though we did try to assure her we would have helped with money as best we could). She does not necessarily think she will stay in this particular job forever, but the college course she did can be built on with more studying and she could branch out into other caring professions such as working with adults with disabilities (which she initially wanted to do and still might consider in future).

All I can advise is that you sit down with each of your children separately to have a frank discussion about what their ultimate aspirations are, explaining that earning money now should not be the priority, their long term working life satisfaction should be, and listen carefully to what they say to you and don't dismiss their arguments out of hand, but try to work out if it is lack of confidence or lack of interest on their part preventing them from thinking of higher education, if it is lack of interest i think you will have to accept their choices. I did feel a little bit of a failure in not getting my daughter to do 'A'levels at first, as she obtained 9 GCSE's, but I am glad we didn't pressure her to do them too much, because at the end of the day it was her choice.

If things don't work out they can always go to college or University later to study for something else - my niece did this actually, and didnt have to pay for course as she was backed by the NHS to upgrade the job she was doing- a win win!

Also (sorry to ramble) I think these days too many young adults are pressured to go to University when really they are not suited for it, this is evidenced by the several stories I have heard of some of them (including my nephew) dropping out of courses part-way through - and the fees still have to be paid, of course!😱

I don't think being sheltered has anything to do with it either way really.

FIL learnt his trade from his dad and passed it down to his sons and grandsons. He's well into retirement now but DH still gets work based on his family name and reputation.

In my family it was medicine and teaching that were "passed down" though in my case, my parents working for the NHS just put me off completely!

There’s a lot of it in our family. Nursing and the armed forces feature heavily.

I honestly don’t know anyone that does the same job as their parents. I must be living a sheltered life 😂

One of the most well off people I know is a joiner with his own business, his wife is an accountant so I am sure she helps with the numbers….

It’s really good that they have both secured apprenticeships, few 15 year olds have the motivation to do that for themselves. It is easy to stay in school and not make any decisions, go to uni do a generic degree and then really struggle to get a decent job at the other side. That’s what happened to me 😑

Your son has the potential to earn a lot of money if that is what you are worried about. Your daughter less so unfortunately, it’s societies problem that the people we trust to care for our children are paid so poorly. As others have said council positions are paid better and there are the odd higher up well paid positions. She could always do the apprenticeship and see how she feels, she always has the option to go to college to do her highers and then potentially uni to do teaching. There really is no rush. I personally will be encouraging my children to keep their options open and to really consider apprenticeships.

So , our children pick their jobs according to what their parents do?

Nobody said it was guaranteed but you can't deny that it happens - the trades being a prime example of skills being passed down from father to son over the years.

It can also work the other way - both my parents are in medicine/work for the NHS and it put me off for life 😂

Some do. Medicine seems to run in families, as does serving in the armed forces and of course there are acting dynasties and family businesses.

So , our children pick their jobs according to what their parents do?

bizarre way of thinking and slightly judgemental too.

Dh has a trade and I worked in hospitality when mine were picking their uni courses and our teens chose engineering and finance.

Is that what you would have expected from mine and dh’s careers?

@divisionoftasks

It's not trite, I'm 52 years old and have been working since I was 18, my advice to concentrate on finding an interest especially when young and without commitments is an opinion based on many hours earning money in a job I hated.

There is also an assumption on your part that doing something that you enjoy will be low paid, the opposite is probably likely due to the enthusiasm you would bring to the role and organisation.

What I am saying is, say you have an interest in Horses and all you can find is volunteering at a stables but you love it, you love the animals and arrive early and get stuck in, or, train to be an accountant in an office but you hate it but it's more money, choose the stables that's my honest advice.

@EmsieJoe It sounds like your son is really well suited to the path he's chosen & your daughter absolutely doesn't need to end up 'stuck' in the minimum wage end of childcare.

I would suggest that it would be great for both if they can get some training/exposure to how to set up & run a business as they're going through their apprenticeships.

How to start a company, what taxes need paying, how to price jobs accordingly, when to take on staff - it doesn't really seem to be taught in 'academics' but if they can get some great tips from other successful 'tradies' you know they can do REALLY well in their chosen fields.

Someone mentioned a £50k childcare managerial role. I know a couple of people who own/run nursery groups & yes it's VERY hard work, but they do exceptionally well out of it. Choosing your area is obviously key! Equally, if she's got good academics & great people skills, there would be the opportunity for her to move towards nannying & there are decent options for travel if she wanted to lean towards the high-net-worth family end of the market? Just make sure she's got a great grounding in when to say no, not diluting her rate by doing hours for free, and she knows where her boundaries are morally - there are as many grim, dodgy wealthy families out there as there are lovely welcoming ones.

Equally shop fitting, custom cabinetry & moving towards high end homes or superyachts would mean your son could essentially set his own rates if his work is high enough quality.

Neither choice is a reason for branding them 'unambitious' or a life-sentence to minimum wage. Where they choose to go with it will determine that...

I certainly don’t think skilled tradesmen are “low-earning.” I’m sure their income can stack up against most white-collar middle
management, and is far better than the ordinands cubicle hamster’s. Don’t know about joiners but I have three masters degrees, speak two languages, and have 25 years in journalism and my plumber certainly earns more than I do. The fact is that people don’t need newspapers these days but they still need their loos unblocked and boilers fixed. I suspect that they will also be wanting carpentered kitchens, bedroom closets, bespoke furniture and what have you for some time to come.

I think you should be proud they have both got apprenticeships but I can understand why you might feel they are wasting their potential. Highers would only take one more year at school.

A’s aren’t spectacular, what is then?