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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my child might have behavioural problems?

32 replies

imfindingithardnow · 22/04/2024 09:53

He is nearly 3 and a half. He doesn’t seem to listen to me or to his dad at all. Yesterday he seemed to go absolutely wild, he asked for a drink and I gave it to him and then he poured it all over the floor and ran in it then all through the house laughing. He climbed onto the roof and was running round laughing hysterically. He demands things and screams at me when I say no. His eating is quite poor in a way: if you don’t feed him he doesn’t really eat.

He attends preschool 3 days a week and no concerns have been reported. Not really sure what to do.

OP posts:
EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 22/04/2024 11:17

imfindingithardnow · 22/04/2024 10:32

What prompted the assessment, @EilonwyWithRedGoldHair ?

I don’t necessarily think he has ASD: it is possible but I’m just very concerned by him at the moment and wondering where I’ve gone wrong (ofc.)

His behaviours hadn't changed from when he was toddler essentially, and it became more and more obvious that it wasn't 'normal' for his age - meltdowns etc.

Post lockdowns and the move to junior school, he wasn't able to keep up with his peers in school, there was bullying and DS was being mildly disruptive - annoying the other children essentially. When we reached the end of our tether we contacted the school and putting our side together with what they were seeing - the whole picture made it obvious really.

As I said I'm not trying to diagnose or say anything is there to diagnose with your son - it was just I see so often people saying that school/nursery say everything is fine.

Original poster
imfindingithardnow · 22/04/2024 10:32

What prompted the assessment, @EilonwyWithRedGoldHair ?

I don’t necessarily think he has ASD: it is possible but I’m just very concerned by him at the moment and wondering where I’ve gone wrong (ofc.)

OP posts:
EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 22/04/2024 10:31

Can't say whether he does or not, but I would say that DS school had no issues with his behaviour until he was 8 or 9, at which point he was referred for ASD assessment.

Original poster
imfindingithardnow · 22/04/2024 10:20

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 22/04/2024 10:09

Erm..... roof?

Our roof has a flat part to it. It was sickeningly dangerous as one slip and he could have been killed. I’m still a bit shaken by it.

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 22/04/2024 10:09

Erm..... roof?

Original poster
imfindingithardnow · 22/04/2024 10:08

I do think some of its attention seeking but one of the problems is that when he’s like this (and it isn’t all of the time) it’s as if you can’t get through to him, any attempts to redirect are ignored. So you end up with him doing things that you can’t just ignore and that feeds into the behaviour.

I have hugely struggled with any sort of consequence he cares about. Sometimes I can do something direct eg he’s being silly with a toy so the toy is removed but there’s nothing he’s particularly attached to. The sterner you are with him the more he seems to find it funny. Sometimes I can diffuse a situation by ‘ringing’ someone (grandad or preschool teacher, obviously it’s not a real conversation) so yesterday he was refusing to get in the bath so I ‘rang grandad’ but then he got on the bath so I was able to say I’m letting you know DS has got in the bath … yes I agree grandad he’s a lovely boy really … soooo glad he’s done as I asked’ bit cringe I know but it does work. Other times he just shouts at me Confused

I’ll have a look at the Solihull link, thank you.

OP posts:
caramac04 · 22/04/2024 10:04

Do you have boundaries and consequences? What play activities does he have at home? Sometimes children demonstrate attention seeking behaviour because they do want attention and that’s not unreasonable. Your child has yet to learn to regulate his emotions and needs support to do so.
Some children want and need more physical and sensory activities than others, could this be the case with your child?
Have a look online at The Solihull Approach which supports parenting and improves child behaviour by meeting their needs . It is not judgy and parents can feel more in control which is good for parent and child.
You might want to consider asking the Local Authority for early help too.
All behaviour is communication