To ask if it's normal to feel this stressed every morning?

Op this was us for just a few runs and it was a disaster. My baby was a severely reflux baby too so never slept and just cried and cried. School is a 20 min walk only but it is all uphill so I was absolutely wrecked and this was in the hard thick of winter. We had no help and everyone travels in to dc school from different places, so no one I could ask either. We just hired someone to do it for us eventually. Costs a lot but it just gave me so much relief to not drag a screaming baby in the worst weather pushing uphill.
I don't know if there's anyone around you that offers that - ask on your local groups.
I don't know what you can do , but I really , really understand what you're going through.

The thing that helped me is that we would all get washed, teeth brushed and changed before we went downstairs.
Then breakfast was usually a bit calmer, try and feed baby a bit at that time too.
Any spills on school uniform can be wiped off with a wipe or if dc is very messy, a napkin/cloth tucked into his neck.
I used to play phonics videos to the older dc during breakfast. Kept them distracted and learning and freed me up.

Sorry you’re feeling so stressed - whether it’s normal or not, I can’t say. I know plenty will agree with you but I actually never understand the stress personally. I get both kids up and out before school on my own and it’s never a rush or a stress; I don’t say it to sound smug but just to wonder what it is that could be different about our experiences. I would get stressed if it was all last minute and rushing but I just make sure we are all up in time so that we’ve allowed enough time to get stuff done; I factor in last minute feeds or changes etc. I never understood people saying they couldn’t get up and out in the morning with 2 kids/ a baby. But maybe you’re not a morning person?

do you set yourself an alarm?

I still feel this level of stress with my youngest two DC, who are 16 and 12 year old and always have done around the school run. I have been doing it for 17 years now. Deadlines make me anxious and there's nothing much I can do about that (even though I have tried), so I have just come to a position of acceptance that I will stress about the school run and I make sure that afterwards I get into work and use the first hour to do something easy, repetitive and calming. I do monitor my stress levels on my smartwatch and they do spike at 7.55am but then I box breathe, drink nice drinks and tend to absorb myself. Can you do similar OP? Almost counteract the stress after the school run?

@imablue - I hear you! Mine were similar ages to yours and this stage was so stressful - I’d be in tears or close to tears most days. DH’s job didn’t give scope for him to help.

There were many many times when I just had to let the baby cry - it wasn’t great but it was all I could do. But as others have said, it will get better and you are not alone 💐

Totally normal. I remember when I went back to work after having my son a friend asked how I was coping and I say "yeah great, except for the mornings - I really need to get into a smooth routine. It's carnage at the moment but once I get that sorted it'll be lovely."

She said "AHAHAHAAAH! You poor chump! The mornings are always going to be carnage!" Which was both depressing and reassuring. And I must say, although things have got better over the years, it has never become the finely tuned process I was hoping for.

I think it's normal at these ages, but it will get easier soon when your baby is on more of a feeding routine.

Mornings and getting to school on time was always the most stressful time if the day for me! It’s probably normal.
Especially as you are tired and probably not in a proper routine with the baby yet.

I hate school mornings and I only have one, I imagine it's very stressful with a baby. And the 5 year old is still at the age they need assistance and pushing to do everything to get out the door. Can you feed the baby while your older child is eating if they are crying as you need to leave?

The other thing is if there is any way your partner could change his schedule temporarily so he could take the school run for the first 6 months..

It was normal for me when I was in your shoes and doing it by myself, yes. I also had the same thoughts that it couldnt possibly be normal to feel that stressed. The school run was a very gruelling and complex thing to pull off each morning.
It will 100% get easier over time, your baby is so young. Don't best yourself up, you're normal and doing a great job.

Can the 5 year old go to breakfast club so that DH could take him there, even if it's just one day a week?

Really sorry you're feeling like this. This is not your fault, it sounds very normal with kids of those ages. The baby's needs are very immediate and yet you have to get the older child to school. Honestly I don't think there is any perfect way to prepare, maybe try an earlier feed for bb but otherwise - any way your partner could help with school run? Otherwise all I can say is it will get easier, it may take a few months, once the baby is more 'grown up' as it were. You are doing brilliantly and have my full sympathy.

Do you have a DP? Given that your baby is so young could he not do the school run for a while? The first few months with a newborn are tough.

Do you have another adult you live with who could help you in the mornings?