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To ask stranger if I can dig up their tree in the garden?

165 replies

WaffleDogg20 · 22/04/2024 08:59

My dad had a stroke that left him wheelchair bound and without a voice. when I was 16 which caused my parents to lose their house as they couldn’t afford their mortgage. They were homes in a bungalow. a few months after moving in my mum was diagnosed with cancer, for her 60th birthday all she wanted was this specific cherry tree.

we managed to find one and bought it her and it was then planted in the middle of their garden. It was extremely special to both my parents. Sadly my mum died a few months later but for the last 12 years my dad tenderly looked after this tree and every year he would make us pick the cherries for him. We would find him many times just looking at it in the garden.

my dad died last year and in the rush of having to be out of the council bungalow the Tree was left.

its my biggest regret in life so far and every time I think about it I cry. It’s still in the garden as if drove past a few times.

would I be unreasonable to offer the new tenants a good sum of money to be able to take it? I would love to replant it in my garden as it holds so many memories with my dc.

I don’t know what to do :(

OP posts:
DrJoanAllenby · 22/04/2024 10:53

Why not ask for some cuttings?

The chances are the tree would die if dug up removed.

Axx · 22/04/2024 10:44

No harm in asking. I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

TravelInsuranceQ · 22/04/2024 10:31

I second what others have said about the tree not being likely to survive being moved.
Also, if the property is a council house, would the tree technically belong to the council and not the current tenant?

SmallIslander · 22/04/2024 10:26

I think you might kill the tree by digging it up, that would be terribly sad. Personally I'd plant a new cherry tree. More trees in the world is a good thing.

Tel12 · 22/04/2024 10:24

TBH I would leave the tree in place and buy another in memory of your parents. It would be difficult to move and if it didn't survive you would regret your decision, assuming that to the current occupiers agreed.

Sugarcoatedalmonds · 22/04/2024 10:23

I would say no if someone asked me to do this, I'm sorry.

I know it means a lot to you but unless you were going to pay for a like-for-like replacement then I wouldn't want the upheaval or faff. There is also no guarantee the tree would survive the upheaval.

I totally agree with what @DeedlessIndeed suggested!

KrisAkabusi · 22/04/2024 10:23

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/04/2024 10:21

I would ask. And, if I was the new owner and you could prove your parents lived there, I would let you take the tree for free. Failing that, there are companies that will graft trees for you (fruit trees are grafted onto a different root stock to make them more resilient and control their size), so if they won't let you dig it up but will let you take some cuttings that's another possibility.

It's at least 12 years old. Removing it will do extensive damage to the garden and the root system. It's really not practical to remove it. But do ask about taking cuttings for grafts.

BulliedBySlugs · 22/04/2024 10:22

How big is the tree now OP?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/04/2024 10:21

I would ask. And, if I was the new owner and you could prove your parents lived there, I would let you take the tree for free. Failing that, there are companies that will graft trees for you (fruit trees are grafted onto a different root stock to make them more resilient and control their size), so if they won't let you dig it up but will let you take some cuttings that's another possibility.

Hoppinggreen · 22/04/2024 10:18

I think you need to think about how you would feel if you did it and the tree died

Snugglemonkey · 22/04/2024 10:16

Tbh, if I was living in that house I would say no to the tree being moved. I would be happy for cuttings, photos, cherries etc to be taken, but it would be massive upheaval, leave a big mess, pretty much tuin the garden. And as people have said, the chances of success are not high. I think a cutting and new tree is your best bet. Sorry for your losses.

Whatwaswrongwiththatusername · 22/04/2024 09:54

If it was me I would consider it. But would obviously depend on eg, size of tree/roots, how much potential damage left behind. I would definitely allow cuttings at the least. I think I'd also offer you to pick some of the cherries when they come, not just to eat, but to see if you could germinate from the "offspring" seeds.

6pence · 22/04/2024 09:24

I like the photos at different stage idea a pp posted above. Or the jewellery idea.
You can do all these and ask for cuttings.

ViciousCurrentBun · 22/04/2024 09:22

I would ask for some cuttings. DH took a fancy to a friends laurel tree and took a cutting, it was almost 20 years ago. We now have a rather huge laurel tree in the garden. I’m awful at estimating measurements but it’s possibly 20ft tall.

WaffleDogg20 · 22/04/2024 09:20

Ignore the state of the garden, it was coming out of winter 😂

OP posts:
Mydpisgrumpierthanyours · 22/04/2024 09:19

ask they can only say no. fwiw i had an established cherry tree taken out my garden a couple of years ago and it didnt take long

WaffleDogg20 · 22/04/2024 09:19

Iv just googled it and the cherry trees look huge but it wasn’t like that at all. Here’s a pic, it’s to the left x

To ask stranger if I can dig up their tree in the garden?
OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 22/04/2024 09:14

Ask for a cutting, it will in effect be the same tree (a bit like Groot is Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy!) to enable you to have one and the mature tree to remain where it should (for its own sake remain). I think it you explain then most people will be willing to give you a cutting. If you are unsure as to how and what to cut and then plant I am sure a gardener would be willing to do so

mitogoshi · 22/04/2024 09:13

They are pretty easy to take cuttings from or plant from the stone - mine self seeded everywhere! It's not usually possible to transplant a large tree safely.

SpringOfContentment · 22/04/2024 09:13

I think moving a tree of that size will be tricky, and potentially kill the tree.
Taking a cutting, growing a tree from a cherry, or buying a nursery tree of the same variety would likely lead to greater sucess (and if I was in the house now, a cutting or seeds I would agree to, removing the tree would be a negative reponse).

Also, you mention tenants. If the people living there don't own it, they can't agree to it being removed.

ChooksnChicks · 22/04/2024 09:13

I'm sorry for your losses, op. I can see why you would want to do this, but I agree with pp, it will likely permanently damage the tree if you get permission to move it.

A cutting grafted to a new tree is a brilliant idea, and can be symbolic to your dc of how they are the next generation in the family, with a history of loving generations before them.

Gladespade · 22/04/2024 09:11

Janetime · 22/04/2024 09:08

Would you consider buying the same one in honour of your parents and planting it in your garden?I think this has a better chance of survival. Plus how gutted will yoh be if you move it and it dies, which it has a very high chance of.

Same tree is a great idea.

DeedlessIndeed · 22/04/2024 09:11

The cost for reimbursement of a 12 year old tree, plus making the garden right again will be a couple of thousand. You'll require heavy machinery and some strength to list and move it.

At the end of it, the tree will likely get transplantation shock and die.

What I would do is write a letter, explain the significance of the tree and ask to take some cuttings of the tree.

They will be genetically identical.

You can propagate a cherry from hardwood cuttings in the winter, or semi ripe cuttings earlier in the year quite successfully and inexpensively. The best thing is that it would be without risking your parents tree at all.

Feeding543Frenzy · 22/04/2024 09:10

Sorry for your loss

You don't need the whole tree to have a connection

Suggest
Take 4 photos of the tree
Winter, spring, summer, autumn
Frame into one photo frame

Or

Take 12 photos of the tree, one per month & put into one photo frame

Or

Take some blossom & leaf & have some jewellery made

Or

Sunrise, midday, evening, night photos

MintTwirl · 22/04/2024 09:10

I would ask to take cuttings. It would be hard to move and it would awful if it didn’t thrive in your garden after.