To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

I (mid-forties) am a waver-off of people who have travelled a long way and people I really like / have just had a great time with. It's a way of extending the visit to the last possible moment.
Equally, I will see them to the door, but close it once they have gone down the front steps to their car if:

(a) I can sense they are needing to faff, or they tell me they need time to faff;
(b) the weather is dreadful and I want to keep the house warm; or
(c) there are several guests in several cars and I am maybe getting coats etc for those still in the house. Then I won't wave off even the last to leave. Don't know why.

My grandparents were the most prolific wavers-off I have ever known. They lived in a residential road set back from, but parallel to, a busy road with a shrubbery in between the two roads. You had to drive down their little residential road away from their house, then turn back on yourself onto the busy road, so you passed their house again. They would wave us all the way down the residential road, and then emerge in the shrubbery to wave us up the busy road too! I always felt that they loved us a lot, and were sad to see us go.

My sister often doesn't even come to the door to see me out, and if she does she closes it the minute you're out. It makes me feel dismissed, even though I know she doesn't mean to come across that way.

Just because you were brought up to do something doesn’t make it right or needing to honour your elders. Giving babies alcohol and taking thalidomide was also normal but times change.

Personally my DH thinks it’s rude to watch someone reverse and turn around and tells me to shut the door and not watch/wave!

I do it I’m mid 30’s Was brought up with family and friends doing it. If someone doesn’t do it I find it rude actually.

My late FiL used to wave us off and I always worried when he got a bit frail and would have trouble walking that he might trip on the way back in.
I agree it's pretty old fashioned now although a lot of people will see you to the door, but not wave.

And here's me thinking that my grandparents had this huge love for me. They'd shut the door and then rush to the kitchen window at the side of the house, slide open their café style net curtains and keep on waving good-buyes until I was (and they were to me) just little specks in the distance down the road. Sometimes I'd see them wipe a tear away. It is, hand on heart, the most loved I've ever felt.

I walked past that window as an adult and without them being there, I caught a stray tear of my own.

I'd rather not think of any of it relating to "good manners".
Don't do it to appear polite, do it out of love. The former can be irritating, the latter will always be appreciated.

In my case it's not politeness that keeps me there. Waving off is something I do for people I love or am very close to. I'm generally sorry to see them go, and waving off is a gesture of warmth, to me.

Again, obviously it's a conversation I need to have with those I wave off, in case they're among the apparent majority who hate this.
One of them is a prompt door shutter when I visit, so I'll start with her

My in laws do the waving thing. I find it irritating now as we live a 5 min drive away and see them regularly. When they lived over an hour's drive away it felt more natural eg they won't see us for a while so fair enough, but not now after popping by for a cup of tea, just feels weird and annoying.

Edited: the only other people who wave us off are my grandparents, who are in their 90s.

I wave from the door and stay there until they're in the car, but I'm not going to make people feel rushed getting ready for their journey by standing there awkwardly whilst they set their sat nav up, message their partner, wrestle a child into a car seat etc.
I'd feel that was quite rude because it's putting my desire to appear polite and be seen to do the 'right' thing above the guests' comfort.

this.

I also hate it as its usually the older, infirm people that do it as well which is even more annoying! Go inside, stop the heat escaping, go make sure you're ok before i leave, what with you being prone to falls, or disabled - stop standing at the door straining to see me walking the 200m down the street to my car, stop coming into the garden so you can see me getting into the car and standing on tip toes so you can see over the bush, and stop waving... Stop it go inside. #overthinking

Only for immediate family, grandchildren really

I was brought up to always be ace guests out of sight. My dp does it too because I like him to-but he thinks I'm weird.

I feel that to close the door and not wave goodby is somehow rude and gives off vibes of ‘I’m glad you’ve left ‘

Yep, like they can't wait to get rid of you. That's how I feel, too.

I love this. I usually do it with close family and my MIL always does it with us. My Mum doesn’t and it always makes me a tiny little bit sad when we drive back past her house and she’s already gone in, I know that’s BU of me and I’d never say anything to her about it!

Of course. All anyone who doesn't like it has to say is "I'm going to be a while getting myself together, so do go indoors"

It's just never occurred to me that anyone wouldn't like it. If I've been visiting a good friend or much loved family member and they just shut their front door on me, I find it really abrupt.
Maybe waving until they actual open their car door is a compromise.

Used to do this for people who had traveled to see us, not for someone local who had popped in. Not so much nowadays as it makes me cold and triggers Raynauds. Close family I will still often wave from a window (unless they are obviously going to be a bit of time with music etc).

Our family have always done this. I feel that to close the door and not wave goodby is somehow rude and gives off vibes of ‘I’m glad you’ve left ‘. Waving them off at the door gives the message that you have enjoyed having the guests over. At least that is what I was taught. But each to her own.

My mum who is mid 60s does this. I love it. I also do it when she leaves mine.

Say goodbye at the door and wave. Anything else is very 1950's. I'd hate people to walk to may car and watch as I faff.

I grew up to do the same. Were you a 70s kiddie like me?

OP I too was bought up to do this. Although I don’t walk others directly to their car most of the time I will stand outside and wave 👋 till they are out of sight.

I do this! When guests leave I stand at the front door and wave them off. Not for everyone - my mum, DCs.
I didn't realise it was old-fashioned ...?! But I've heard that the 'wave goodbye' evolved from a 'come-back' gesture in ancient times -- as in, we will see each other again.
If that's true, I find it rather charming that I'm practising an ancient tradition LOL. 👋

I don't do it because I hate it being done to me. I like to decompress and get myself set up for the journey before setting off. Faff around with the sat nav, set up a music playlist etc.

I always feel under pressure to get moving asap or I feel guilty that people are stood in the cold with plastered on fake smiles and aching waving arms. I often end up just driving around the corner out of site and stopping so I can get myself settled.

@Rumpunch1 Exactly the same here, if I drop someone off I wait till I've seen them "safely" inside. Also, in the days before mobile phones if me or my sister had been out together or visited each others houses and one of us had driven home alone late at night, the one who was driving did "three rings" of the home landline to let the other know she'd got home safely. Trouble is, by the time I got home I'd often forget to give my sister "three rings" and she'd have to phone me, usually after I'd gone to bed, to check I'd got home safely and hadn't broken down or anything. People would think we were crazy these days!

We used to always do it but then you have people who are messing with their phone (fair enough for directions, checking messages etc) or a child is getting upset/ won’t put car seat on etc and you’re trying not to make them feel uncomfortable and by the end of it everyone is just embarrassed 😅😅😅

I'm a waver and a car faffer, so worst of both worlds! A good compromise is probably for the guest to wave as soon as they get in the car, then break eye contact to complete their faffing ritual. The host can then wave you off and hopefully won't feel obligated to hang about until you've pulled away.

If I have to stand in the doorway too long, it just feels awkward and performative. Plus, I get the feeling that the longer I wait, the less I look like a polite hostess and the more I look like I'm making sure they go away. 😂