To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

Oh god...I do this but I don't like having it done to me as I like to get into my car without feeling rushed and watched. I might not do it anymore. Just maybe wait till they're at their car.Except people who've come a long way. I'm glad you posted this!

I'm 40 and had absolutely no idea this was a thing!

Never done it or had it done to me.

@Ohnodontwantthiscrush Loved reading that!

I already replied saying I dislike being waved off too. But I'm intrigued by how many people think it's sad or rude to check your phone when you get in to the car. I see it as the opposite that I've politely not looked at my phone while visiting and when I get to my car I'll check any messages, if a long journey I may text to say I'm setting off so my husband knows when to expect me.

Although it's not just phones, again on a long journey I will also take off my jacket, start my music, satnav, sort out the kids and generally just make sure I'm completely ready so I can safely drive away without faffing while driving.

We do it for our DC and my brother and did for our parents when they were living. Goodbyes said then we stand on the porch and watch them get in the car. Then when the car starts moving down the driveway we wave again & they toot the horn as they drive away. We live on property so the horn isn't going to bother anyone and there's no walking anyone to their car as it's in front of the house. For our friends or other relatives we usually say goodbyes on the porch and stand there until they open their car doors, say goodbye a last time, then we go indoors.

Funny how these little rituals develop. I don't think there's a rude or polite way to say goodbye to guests unless you're booting them out the door and slamming it behind them.

I ALWAYS run after the car throwing rose petals. It’s just how I was brought up.

I wave them outside, unless is a really awful weather, if do I great them inside and stalked them through the window to see they depart without problem.
I like to see them going well without issues.

No I hate it. My Mother In Law was one for doing this and even worse waved a white handkerchief until we could no longer see her in the rear view mirror. 🙄

@aSpanielintheworks "In a similar way, if I'm driving after a night out, I always wait and make sure the person is inside their house before I drive away - yet most of my friends think that's weird and just drop and go!"

I do that too, I don't want them to think they've been abandoned in case they can't get in. I also live in the middle of nowhere as do most people I know so we've no street lights if I drove off and they didn't have outside lights on they'd be in darkness.

The replies are so funny, I haven't laughed this hard at a thread in a long time.

The waving off at the door was always a running joke in our house.

We grew up in a posh suburb of a city with two sets of cousins nearby; the 'city cousins'. School holidays would always be spent on 'the farm' visiting our grandparents and our 'country cousins'. Absolutely brilliant times. Country cousins lived in a very rural part of the country. Whenever we would pull up outside the house they'd all run out, hundreds of them (ok 8) and surround the car all noise and excitement and welcomes. When we'd leave they'd all be lined up outside the house waving us off and we'd watch them getting smaller and smaller in the rear window.

In our Big City life a wave from the door as guests walked to the car sufficed.

We inevitably became asshole teens who were bored of the farm but had to go, then hit our early twenties and didn't bother anymore. Driving off we all refused to wave back instead sneering at how hick they were lined up outside the house. We were very sophisticated and successful by then and assumed our Country Cousins would be wowed by our stylish clothes, impressive jobs and innate coolness if we ever crossed paths (unlikely).

A few years later some events threw us together and I realised all Country Cousins now lived in the city not working jobs but each running their own successful company, owned property, charmed our friends and generally made us look like utter knobs in comparison. They could buy and sell us by that point while we could barely afford the rent in our filthy hosueshares. Of course as they were inherently great people they still seemed delighted to see us and hadn't ever picked up on our earlier arrogance as well, they were busy living their impressive lives and I love spending time with them whenever there is a chance.

I'm middle aged now, the farm is gone but their mother still lives there. I took my LO there last year, it was adorable to hear her screeching when we pulled up outside to the sight of my auntie, one of my cousins, his wife and four little kids standing outside the house, the dogs barking and smiley faces all round.

The day we drove off, I watched my daughter in the mirror waving manically through the back window and my heart sang.

Keep waving them off OP, it's lovely.

I’m envisaging it … and getting a clear image.

I love being seen off properly and find it really sad when folks see me out of the door, then disappear and close it behind me, especially if I’ve come a long way to see them. It feels like they can’t get rid of you fast enough. I always see my own guests off, but try to be sensitive about it. If they give hints, like needing to sort the sat nav out, then I take it that they dont want to be waved goodbye and then will say something like ‘ l’ll leave , you to it then, but do let me know if there’s anything I can do to help’, then will go inside. So I’m with you OP.

I thought it was only parents and grandparents who did this.

My mum waves us off at the window which leads to awkwardness as DH is inevitably faffing about with Satnav and music before we go.

As a guest I bloody hate this. I often like to sit in my car for a few moments setting up my music and getting maps open and making sure I have a drink,snack to hand, and that I'm a good temperature before setting off. People waiting for me to leave makes me feel hassled !!!

I suppose I am old now so see it as rudeness if someone does not at least see you to the door, Of course if it is bitterly cold they wouldn't but would wave at the window.

Sometimes I don't get off the sofa when my guests leave... just holla "bye" at them.

That’s a lovely memory! Life was the richer for all these little traditions and efforts.

Now people just sit round farting about on their phone.

This definitely used to be the done things years ago, certainly for people who had driven a distance, and it would have been seen as incredibly rude not to. The routine for us after visiting my grandparents was we all gathered on the street everybody gave and received a tearful hug, my grandma shoved a fiver in my pocket during our hug and said don’t tell your granda, my grandad would give me a hug and also shove a fiver in my pocket and say don’t tell your grandma, then my auntie , who would have travelled to my grandmas house especially for ‘the send off’ would do the same and say dont tell your mam. Then we would get in and drive off with EVERYBODY waving, car occupants included, until we were out of sight. We would then pull over and sort out coats cardigans sweets Radio Etc and count our money😊😂 sometimes if it was pissing down we would beg them not to but they still would insist. I’m 50 now and I really miss those days. It was also definitely not just my family , it was the done thing.
forgot to say I usually see people out and chat while they load kids etc in they go back indoors . If it’s people I see more regularly I usually just shut the door , my mum waves is off without fail still tho !

My kids (6 and 8) wave me off to work every day. They walk to the end of the drive and wave as a I cycle away. 😊

Oh I always wave guests off. I'm surprised to hear it's old fashioned.

adult goes down. kids wave at the window

My grandmother did it. Grandfather used to stand looking ready to bolt, but she loved it and would wave and blow kisses, which we children would all enthusiastically blow back. My poor DM hated it as they had a very long drive that she had to reverse down and did not enjoy the audience or kiss blowing going on while she tried to! I remember one day she snapped: “ oh just stop encouraging them!” I was really shocked but totally get it now!

Visitors hanging around for ages before actually leaving is something I find really annoying and awkward - we've said goodbye so I don't want to run into you ten minutes later when I'm dashing out to go somewhere else. I can't really relax until people have properly gone.

As far as manners go - my instinct is to wave long-distance visitors off but I never stand at the door if someone's said I should go inside (and I wouldn't hesitate to tell people to go inside if I'm the one leaving and need time).

The door being shut very quickly feels very rude to me, I think it feels like the host just wants the visitor out of their sight as fast as possible ("you're still here at my house but I don't want you taking up a minute more of my time").

Having someone start to wave me off but also offer to go inside quite quickly doesn't feel like that though, so to me that feels like a good compromise.

I wave off my daughters to uni each term. DH drives them to the railway station.

They have both said they like it... the last thing they see is me smiling and waving goodbye. (I stand by the door till DH starts to pull away, then I wave.)

DH drops them at a drive-through-drop-and-go at the station, and they wave him off too.

Yes I agree if there is much manoeuvring involved, you shouldn't watch and wave. Should have added that to my list.