To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

It isn't caring it's fussing and putting on a performance of caring where real care would put the needs of the person arriving/ leaving first and not be rushing them to jump in and out of cars and drive off as fast as possible.

YABU. Can’t think of anything worse than having to set off immediately because someone’s stood waving at me. My Mum does this. She also, when she knows I’ve arrived, comes out to tap on the car window and ask what’s wrong if I don’t immediately leap out of the car.

This thread proves that we are losing humanity more and more. It’s wrong to leave without waving goodbye and t’s even more wrong to close the door as soon as someone left your house. It's just sad that even a gesture as simple as this is being lost because people can't be bothered to care anymore.

My mum would wave me off from the sofa or door on a good day.
My dad would wave me off at the gate, then I'd drive round to get on the main road whilst he cut through on foot and wave me off again on the main road as I passed.
First time he did it, he hadn't said and I was startled as I didn't expect to see him there.

He's always done it and we do it now.
If I was taking a coach when younger, he'd wait whilst it filled up and wave until out of sight.

I would always walk people to the bus stop too back in the day.

Don't mind it as I was brought up with it and now DH & I do it to each other.

I do this and I'm only 40....done it my whole life. My mum does it too and my gran. I don't care if its old fashioned. Being kind and polite never goes out of fashion.

Im usually worried I might distract the person as theyre trying to reverse out my driveway , so I give hugs then disappear.

.... and they do it because they love you.

Blimey, what a bizarre overreaction to your older family members waving goodbye to you. There are some hugely rude and unkind posts on here. Good grief, they're not stealing a kidney from you, they're just waving goodbye.

WTF is wrong with some people on this thread? 😐

And it's what OLD people do?! What a rude thing to say!

God, no, please just let us leave. Its what old people/our parents/in laws do. And it's annoying when you you just want to go.

I walk people to the door but I don’t usually wave people off, it’s freezing 90% of the time.

But if your child said ‘actually I find it stressful when you wave us off’ then surely it would be polite to not do it?

Of course, @TheOriginalEmu . But they've never said they don't like it. And it's never occurred to me that they might not. But going by this thread, they probably do hate it and now I feel like I'm doing something wrong. That doesn't make me rude though.

I generally do apart from DP who generally take about half an hour to perform a 15000 point turn in the cul de sac at 1 mile an hour very painful to watch so sometimes I make a cup of tea and look at the window and they still turning !!

My friend insists on waving me off when I've been to hers for coffee. I find it mortifying. We see each other all the time. Just stop it.

Yes, they are about 500 miles away, roughly.

I was setting off early from Cornwall to Manchester on my own and it was their advice I set off early to avoid the congestion at Bristol. Do your family live 7 or more hours away? Regardless of what you say, I think they should have said goodbye.

@MotherWaver Ooh Ken Dodd - yes, I think it was. That's stirred some memories for me. Thank you. 😁

Gosh.

I regularly visit family, and leave early (but later than 7, more like 7.45) to get home. I would never expect them to disturb their sleep just to suit my travel timetable. That's the worst time to have sleep disturbed, as it's unlikely they'll get back to sleep again before they have to get up for the day.

I would have thought driving 7 hours to visit someone would warrant a quick cheerio when I left. It was about 7am, not the middle of the night. If you have a different opinion fine, but that’s my opinion.

That’s such a lovely thing to do at your Dad’s funeral!

Which is fine if everyone involved is happy to do it that way. But if your child said ‘actually I find it stressful when you wave us off’ then surely it would be polite to not do it?

I think people need to communicate their needs and preferences more tbh. I have no problem with saying ‘I’m going in now, love you bye’. Or ‘can you not stand outside waving us off, it stresses DC1 out too much, a Swift goodbye is better’. So many people on this thread don’t seem to be able to use their words.

So you chose to leave really early but then are upset they didn’t get up?? Did you have a nice visit? Were they good hosts? If yes then surely that says more about how they feel about you then getting up and disrupting their sleep to wave at you?

I don’t think it’s unusual to have children who are fractious after a visit, too much stimulation, too much sugar, tired, etc. Many of the people who are replying saying they don’t like being waved off have said it’s because they feel pressured during what is a potentially stressful time when getting kids situated and ready to leave, so I don’t think I’m that unusual in that respect.
I understand what you were brought up with, but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true. I was raised that not wearing a coat would make you ill, that isn’t true. What I’m saying is there’s not anything inherently rude in saying goodbye waving and then going inside.

I agree that good manners are lovely. I also think that good manners evolve with time. In a time where cars were more unreliable and all a person had to do when they got to the car was drive off, it made sense. But given that poll in this thread is 70% not liking the waving, either because they want to faff in the car, or don’t like the pressure of being watched, then I think etiquette is moving on this one. I wouldn’t send a thank you letter in the post following a dinner party as my grandparents would have done, not because I’m less polite, but because society has changed with technology, and a text message is standard etiquette today. Manners are meant to make people feel comfortable, and having to drive around a corner to pull up when I was already safely parked is the opposite of that.

It's not pressuring them to be on their way. Usually it's the opposite, especially when it comes to people like me who are parents to adults, and grandparents to little ones. We want to make the most of our time with them, we love them and are a bit sad when it's time for them to leave (even if we're exhausted) So we go out and wave them into the distance. Just as my parents and in-laws did.

No - it would be if that was the intention. I think the gesture comes from a good place. I just don't think it's worth getting upset over. Either drive around the corner and do stuff or be assertive and tell them that you'll be ages getting ready to go. It's really not difficult.