To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

Oh god is that why you do it? My mil does this alongside kind of groaning, sighing and wringing her hands and wet kisses umpteen times. It's. So horribly awkward to the point I was glad to have children to use as a shield or because they get bored of theatrics.

Would the reason you're left waiting for them to answer door not be due to reasons of poor health?

Oh sorry op I hate this. We don't do it in my family, it just seems so drawn out and pointless 🙈

It's embarrassing.

Doesn’t usually happen to me but in that situation I’d feel pressure to pack up the car and pull off 😄 I’d definitely have to find somewhere to pull in down the road to get my drink bottle, do my sat nav etc.

My grandparents used to wave us off when we were kids but I thought that was just because they were so obsessed with us and we thought it was funny. Don’t remember anyone else doing it really.

It’s not people pleasing, it’s because she wants to set up her Sat nav in peace

I find the focus on manners on Mumsnet very interesting. Manners are just a set of conventions that vary across cultures and evolve over time. They don't always have a practical reason beyond the convention that might bind us together as a society. For example, waving someone off has no practical purpose- unless you live in a war zone it's unlikely you're not going to be safe getting to your car and driving away.

It's interesting on this thread that it makes some people uncomfortable to do this, which is the exact opposite of what manners should be.

Fwiw I have never done this, wasn't brought up to do so and don't really understand the point. I don't think this makes me ill mannered, and I doubt anyone who comes to my house is remotely bothered either way. For context I am in my early 50s

I can vaguely remember people doing this, although my grandparents didn’t.

It’s kind of annoying for guests isn’t it? You can’t faff and get sorted in peace.

No, as the person in the car you feel the need to hurry up, so they can go in again. Just say bye at the door.

Definitely the polite thing to do, unless you know the person dislikes it.

It is not a social faux-pas.

I thought this was a fun thing we did as children, waving grandparents off, I remember we used to chase the car down the street as they left, then wave from our frount window too

Maybe 'people pleasing', but if it makes the host happy after they've made the effort to entertain you, why not.
We aren't all self-obsessed; some of us will do things to please people. We aren't all so selfish that we cannot modify our behaviour temprarily to make someone happy.

It seems 'manners' have been re-branded as 'people pleasing' and are now something to be sneered at. Lovely.

And now I'm weird as well

Gosh I do this and I'm in my 50s. I was brought up to believe it was the polite thing to do and it feels rude not to. Never in a million years would I have realised that people are offended or annoyed by it. Or that I'm old fashioned. I've definitely learned something new this morning!

I hate it. I want to be able to sort the car out, plug my phone in, pick the music, answer any messages and sort my coat and stuff out before driving off.

I have no idea why anyone feels the need to stare at someone's car until they leave - it's both weird and annoying!

Absolutely bonkers suggestion. Ridiculous people pleasing

Car or walking - always wave them off. I had no idea it was such a social faux pas. If anyone needs to do anything like set up sat nav, they always just say(as I would).

Perhaps she does, but perhaps it 's about your final act as hostess - making sure your guests are safe
Intolerant

I don't do this as I simply cannot be arsed. Luckily nobody cares.

Just drive around the corner, for heaven's sake. If your hosts are kind enough to be ensuring you get to your car and that it starts, so what? Do what you need to do to keep them happy (i.e., drive off), then stop and do all this admin and stuff you want to do

This. It just makes me feel rushed

People are definitely ruder now. I'm an HCP working in people's homes - people leave me on their step in the rain for ages before answering, don't turn the TV down/ off when I'm there, let DC poke round my bags and scream over me talking, and at least half don't show me out at all!

Generally, my preference is to be shown to the door (really so they can close the door behind me as I carry a lot of stuff) then I'm fine with them closing the door.

Same with friends and family.

We do this in my family to people who have travelled a long way, close family and close friends. My sisters are in their 30s, I am 40s. If we have things we need to do, we just say, ‘don’t worry about waving me off, I’ve got to set up the Sat nav’ or whatever. We like to do it and think it’s normal to do. I wouldn’t do it to someone who just popped round though! I would say take care, bye, thanks for coming, pause for a bit and then shut the door so depends on circumstances.