To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

I’m in my 30’s and I do this sometimes for anyone that’s travelled a long way!
I think it’s because my grandparents always did it for us (before maps on phones, Spotify on phones, messages on phones etc), used to stand at the end of the drive and wave us off.
Just say bye and shut the door to everyone who lives locally but I do feel rude doing so.

I always wave off my kids and GCs, just as we used to be waved off by our parents. And as my kids used to wave off their grandparents. It's part of feeling and slowing love, to me. It'd feel weird just shutting the door on them.

Obviously now I'm going to have to ask them if they want me to stop doing that.

I've always done it but then I am from that older generation, yes along with the horn-tooting too! Having read through these replies though I can see why now it might be annoying!

That's what I thought.

And I'm assuming the responder it was referring to was me.

And I'm still not sure how it's intolerant not to want something to happen - as I said, I'm not shouting at them to get back inside...

We even toot the horn when we're being waved off. Now THAT'S old fashioned!

Bit daft to think of is as a 'norm'. Sometimes it is nice/appropriate/etc, sometimes it isn't, depending on: length of journey, parking logistics, how close you are to the guest, whether it is raining, how you feel on the day, whether there is a telly programme or washing up that you are desperate to get on with, whether the guest would feel awkward about the Leaving Deputation, etc etc.

I thought everyone stood and waved goodbye, till I first met my in laws who I thought I’d got on really well with.phew. We left, I turned round to wave and they’d already shut the door before we’d even got to the gate! I was horrified, what had I done?

they don’t wave at all.

@Pastelbuttercream - it's so funny how many people hate this! I do this and have taught my 9 and 6 year old DCs that it is rude not to wave until the car is out of sight!

How does the waving off work if you live in a flat?

I always do this for family and friends. If I am the one leaving and it’s cold or I am going to be a while I tell them to go in .If I drop someone off I always wait to see that they get in ok . It’s just courtesy.

This - I don't like being waved off because sometimes it takes me ages to faff in the car and get ready to actually leave, and it feels awkward when people are standing there waiting for you to go.

I meant the responder was intolerant for being so intolerant of waving hosts!

I absolutely hate being watched as I am trying to leave. I need to faff, pick a podcast, set up my maps. Instead someone is grinning at me, I often have to drive off and pull over somewhere else. Just say goodbye at the door!

My grandparents used to do this but my house didn’t have a road in front of it so my parents didn’t expect my siblings to do it.
Now I walk guests to the door and depending on the guest/ day/ situation, I’ll either help them out with bags or kids or I close the door and say bye. I only wave bye when they’ve travelled a long way to see me.

I wouldn’t be annoyed or find it rude if someone said bye and closed the door.

I agree. It's not people.pleasing. it's an extra layer of faff required when someone is standing over you waiting for you to leave.

Any perceived courtesy/consideration on the part of the host is negated by the extra level of inconvenience of having to drive away before you're ready and having to find somewhere convenient to pull over further up the road surely?

I do what you do but couldn't care less if I don't have the same done for me 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do this for guests who have come a long way or for a longer stay. I do get your point but I don't think it's exactly rude not to.

I agree that waving off is the polite thing to do, and I try to do it.

However, we have a house that takes forever to heat, and costs a fortune to heat. I can't bring myself to stand on the doorstep for 5+ minutes letting all the heat out while my guests settle in their cars, plug in their phones, set their sat nav systems, strap the kids in etc etc etc. So I generally say something about "won't stay at the door as all the heat will go out" and nervously leave them to it! I guess the alternative would be for us to stand on the drive (front door shut) to wave them off, but that is a big faff with small kids!

I don't like being waved off, especially if I've got the children. I've got to strap them both into the car, and having people standing at the door makes me feel rushed because I don't want to inconvenience them by making them wait for me to get sorted.

Well I’m clearly old fashioned but I like the waving off ritual when we’ve been visiting our older folk. It signals they’re not in a rush to shut the door and be rid of us as fast as possible :)

I'll walk people to the door and talk until they get in the car. Then I leave them to it. Waiting on the doorstep until they drive out of sight just feels weird and like I'm keeping tabs on them until they leave. I only do it for my parents, and that's because they're old fashioned and expect it, and also my son likes to wave at them.

😆
Love the little 'intolerant' sitting on it's own.

I'm not sure why it's there though. If someone did it to me I wouldn't be shouting at them from the car telling them to close the door. I'm not that bad!

I would feel pressured into driving off asap - when I would rather sit for a wee while first. I'm the classic introvert who's energy is used up by spending time with people, so I just want a bit of time before driving away. It's a waste of the hosts time and it's certainly not benefiting me.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Used to be just get in car, engine on, wave and go. It's a bit sad that people are now so irritated by something that used to be seen as a polite and caring thing to do. We always wave off guests, it would just feel rude to shut the door on people who've travelled a distance to visit us.

I think people would quickly give up this practice if they had to wait for me to wrangle my two into their car seats.

Same here.

I walk people to the door, say my goodbyes, wave them off and then go back inside. I wouldn't wait until they had left.

I don't have a driveway so people have to park on the street. I wouldn't walk them to their car unless we were continuing a conversation or needed help carrying something because I like to have time to organise myself in the car and presume others are similar.

If I'm dropping someone off home, I don't leave until I've seen them go into their house though just In case there's a problem of some sort.