DD has left GC's with me and I'm struggling

Yes definitely contact social services. I'd love to hear the conversation between them and the kids dad when he offers to take them for one weekend a month

Thank you for stepping forward for your GCs when their parents have failed them.

Please speak to a senior member of staff at school, be that your safeguarding lead, deputy head or whomever. Explain exactly what you’ve said here and they should engage SS to assess their needs.

Given their ages and vulnerabilities I’m not sure the automatic answer is to send them to live with a father they don’t know well and outside their established support network. But they can help assess that.

Good luck!

You need to contact school and social services.
They will help and support you non-end if you are happy to keep your GDs.
They will arrange and fund wrap around care for them both I.e breakfast club, after school club and extra financial support if required.

I would definitely involve both Social Services and the police at this stage. Firstly to make sure your daughter is safe and secondly for them to look into the circumstances of everyone involved and help make plans for the children’s future. It isn’t safe for their mother just to come back and take them, there needs to be some record of what has happened. If they do go to live with this man they need to be on the radar of child protection. The children’s father may shape up if he gets a visit from social services. If the children stay with you you need more support. Let social services look into it. They will likely have a statergy meeting with the police. school and health involved.

If that it's ok - would he consider having them live with him?

I meant would he consider if the children moved to his location and live with him there? and ask him to consider if the children would cope ok with that move and to stay without familial support.

Well I just want to say how lucky the children are to be under your stability whilst you organise long term care for them.

Her abandoning them with you is a way to get social services involved. This will involve investigation into her partner and if your DD ever gets them back they will remain under SS radar if necessary.

You need to speak to your ex son in law. Would he consider a move down and taking full time responsibility for them? You could sweeten this deal by advising him of what child benefits he would get along with DLA etc. Also - it might help if you told him you could have the kids 2 weekends a month etc.

If that it's ok - would he consider having them live with him? Talk to him about the eldest's SEN - would they cope ok with that big a transition? Ask him if he would be happy for them to go into fostering or a children's home? Ask him to look into the reality of these and look into the stories of children who have grown out of state care and how it's affected them.

What a difficult situation. I agree re the childcare options above but my priority would be to check your daughter is ok. Have you spoken to her or FaceTimed her?

Why are people suggesting the dad, when he is obviously showing no interest whatsoever in his DC. Wouldn’t a good parent be a) concerned that mum had hooked up with a violent partner and b) abandoned her DC with OP.
He lives the other end of the country so can’t imagine he sees them much now.
Poor children

School and social services need to know immediately

School and SS need to be notified.

What an awful situation.

Definitely get dad onside. Assuming he’s a safe/sensible parent then he can’t just abandon you/the girls apart from 2 days a month. Ideally, he should move to where you live and take the girls in, given they’ve been abandoned. He can always get a job nearby. They shouldn’t have their entire lives disrupted just because your DD has bogged off. Your eldest granddaughter definitely sounds as though she needs to be close to you, rather than moving to the opposite end of the country.

It's definitely time to call social services. These poor kids have two parents who don't give a shit about then. Time to give them at least a chance of something better.

And, fly up, drop them off at dad's house and tell him they're his kids and you'll have them one weekend a month to help out.

I think I'd also ask the police to do a welfare check. Abusers and victims often go into hiding when the victim is covered in injuries from a beating.

I think they need to go live with their dad, unless he is not a good parent for some reason.

You need to give them to their father, is he a safe person?

AND call social services because really your DD has abandoned her kids (new man or no) she has left them unless she is being held hostage?

you do need to make yourself aware of that fact and sit with it. Don’t make excuses for her, she’s behaving irresponsibly.

If dad is offering to do one weekend a month, I assume he does bugger all now. Any decent dad would have been straight down to see his DC and support them and try and find a solution.

You’d want the mother who abandoned. Her dc for 6 weeks to be forced back from her “holiday” to whisk her dc away from the love and protection of their DGM to live with a thug! Seriously?

She still needs SS intervention though because she has brought a violent man into her children’s lives and refuses to break up with him.

Get in touch with social services. You becoming ill with stress won't help anybody.

I agree with this post.

How lucky these girls are to have you but you do need support.

I would also be wondering if your DD is ok. If she really is just on a jaunt, then What.Was.She.Thinking?

Either way I’d give them a date. Best to let them know authorities will soon be involved.

Are you sure DD is ok? Has she only communicated by text? I'd ask the police to do a welfare check as a start. Then contact social services and explain the children have been abandoned. You'll just have to walk through it step by step and see what support they can offer.

You need to call social services. They can work with you to explore options like fostering, respite etc.

This isn't true, social services would take abandoned children very seriously.
I also wouldn't suggest relocating for dad, he is going to be no use otherwise he would be offering more than 1 day a month.

Speak to the DSL at school and get social services involved.

Speak first to the school this morning when you do the drop off, let them know the situation, then when you get back call social services and ask them if they think you should also contact the police to do a welfare check on your DD.

have a really good think about what you are capable of dealing with yourself as whatever happens next is going to be really traumatic for the dc and so far you have been the only stable influence in their life, I’m not saying that to guilt you but they don’t want to lose you completely so work out what you can realistically offer.

good luck. 💐

I agree.It could scare them enough to make them come back

I know everyone wants the dad to take some responsibility, but that would mean the kids moving to the other end of the country, to a dad they don't even seem to know, and losing their friends, their grandma and their school. That is probably the last thing they need given the trauma they're already dealing with.

School and social services for the kids, and police for your daughter, like everyone has said.