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Original poster

Secret Snapchat

31 replies

witmum · 21/04/2024 23:58

To ask you to tell me all I need to know about Snapchat and cheating husbands?

I have just found my 'DH' secret Snapchat.including messages about making girls his sugar babies 🤢.

I have print screened. He has been chatting with exclusively women/girls for the whole 5 years of our marriage (probably longer).

Hidden on his work phone.

Annoyingly I can't get into his fake email address. I only found it as he fell asleep with stories running.

He is a CFO with poor hygiene and I have been putting up with poor behaviour for too long.

OP posts:
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Durdledore · 22/04/2024 20:45

witmum · 22/04/2024 09:31

Of course. Apologies I was not meaning it as offence.

The comments were last night when I was in shock and reaching for support and as someone who does not have Snapchat it was all a blur. They did not look like my friends in there 30's but girls not the right term.

Show quote history

No worries at all. I tried to word it in a way that didn’t shame you - it’s so easy to slip into latent sexism, and we all do it because it’s so ingrained.

We are all a product of this shitty culture that teaches men like your ‘D’H that it’s acceptable to behave how he does.

No shade to you.

And I really hope you LTB.

mintich · 22/04/2024 17:41

I imagine if there is talk about sugar babies etc, they are probably from somewhere like Adult work or the like

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 17:34

imfae · 22/04/2024 16:51

Hi op , hope you are doing ok . A few posters on another thread recommended the website - surviving infidelity . FlowersFlowersFlowers

Thank you.

It has been a really strange day of waves of feelings and emotions. A real rollercoaster.

OP posts:
imfae · 22/04/2024 16:51

Hi op , hope you are doing ok . A few posters on another thread recommended the website - surviving infidelity . FlowersFlowersFlowers

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 14:45

I am not sure on the age thing.

I don't feel the need to cat fish/ honey trap him. I have enough reasons to leave. Though seeing the photos that he has sent would repulse me and make me lol at the same time. He is old enough to legally be father to an 18 year old.

He is the one that has exploded our life together.

I am a strong woman and this will not break me. I am so pleased I did not quit work (his request) and that I have family support financially if I need it.

Legal appointment booked for Friday. We will also need some therapy together/ apart as I want to coparent well.

Silver lining I don't have to see the in laws this weekend for a 7 year olds tea party.

OP posts:
Violetroseyjane · 22/04/2024 14:38

My best friend & I always say adult men with snap chat are cheater as we have both had very bad experiences of this.
My ex 12 year relationship also claimed he didnt have snap chat , he was asleep one evening and a notification popped up on his phone. I had no way of getting into his phone so my best friend set up a fake snap chat account with fake pics from the internet and she added him.
I was sat at her house having coffee while he would message her fake account saying he was single and she was absolutely stunning , then the explicit pictures came. We set up a meet up.We screen shot some of it and it notified him, he blocked her , it was ok though as I had enough proof to leave him.
Snap chat is for cheats or teenagers

NeedToChangeName · 22/04/2024 13:41

He may be asking their age cos he's avoiding children, not seeing them out

Either way, it's hard to see how a marriage can recover from this

toomuchfaff · 22/04/2024 13:34

witmum · 22/04/2024 01:01

His first question is always how old are you.

He has been doing it the full 5 years (probably longer) of our marriage, miscarriage and the birth of my son.

I have confronted him. He is sorry blah blah blah.

He massages 15 girls a day. This seems wild when I can barely get a hug!

I'm sorry but if i found this out about my husband - the last thing i'd want from him is a hug. I'd arrange to see a solicitor, and he'd see the door to our relationship that day. No coming back from that for me, no matter what else you find out.

When you say he always asks their age first - is that to make sure they are old enough - or is he that much of a letch/creep he is wanting to chat to young girls?

Gcsunnyside23 · 22/04/2024 10:48

I'm sure it's been such a shock for you. Don't let him minimise it or anything, you deserve much better than this

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 09:34

Gcsunnyside23 · 22/04/2024 09:29

What happened when you confronted him? Are you staying with him?

He was 'sorry' blah blah.

Sorry he got caught more like.

I think this will be the end it is just how we untangle our lives as I have no experience and neither do my close friends/family. That is not minimising just my life has changed a lot in 24 hours.

He knows the carnage he has cause for me and our son.

OP posts:
Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 09:31

Durdledore · 22/04/2024 09:28

He’s a piece of work.

Could I ask you to refer to these women as women rather than girls? Unless he’s contacting actual girls, in which case obviously report him to the police. But I think it’s young women?

Of course. Apologies I was not meaning it as offence.

The comments were last night when I was in shock and reaching for support and as someone who does not have Snapchat it was all a blur. They did not look like my friends in there 30's but girls not the right term.

OP posts:
Gcsunnyside23 · 22/04/2024 09:29

What happened when you confronted him? Are you staying with him?

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 09:29

Bank statements checked. PayPal also looks clear.

As you say not that it matters regarding evidence but I am curious as to what has been happening secretly in our marriage. There seems to be periods of £££ going into sky bet.

I am so annoyed we have just got a new kitchen and I have just started removing wallpaper so selling the house will be a bit of a bugger. Apologies I am wildly practical.

OP posts:
Durdledore · 22/04/2024 09:28

He’s a piece of work.

Could I ask you to refer to these women as women rather than girls? Unless he’s contacting actual girls, in which case obviously report him to the police. But I think it’s young women?

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 09:24

The muppet has also used his work phone! He work for a defence company.

He has 50 'friends with names beginning with A therefore over 1500 contacts in total.

It is just curiosity to work out what has happened in my marriage.

I feel so sick.

Please use this as a warning to check your kids phones for dirty old me. My 37 year old accountant, who wears Crew t shirts and lives and unremarkable life and if he is capable anyone is. Sickening.

OP posts:
Testina · 22/04/2024 08:37

witmum · 22/04/2024 01:04

He says he has never paid. Tomorrow I will get all bank statements and check.

He has sent dick pics (hopefully not unsolicited) and received tit pics.

You don’t need bank statements to know that this is unacceptable. I would give him an icy, “it doesn’t matter whether you paid or not” on my way to the solicitor.

I have been in a similar position, chasing around for “evidence”. I can’t tell you how freeing it was when I realised that I didn’t need to prove anything, I didn’t need to refute any bullshit… you can just say “I’m done.”

That - just last week I found out that second husband had an (innocent!) bank account he’d never mentioned, and I know he has no clue how many accounts I have. So you wouldn’t get conclusive evidence anyway.

Not paying them is very likely to be a lie though. If he’s using terms like sugar daddy, then parting with money is actually part of the kick from it.

Devonshirerexx · 22/04/2024 07:26

I have snapchat and I am over 25 💩
My teens ignore whatsapp so I use it to message amd track them on the maps.
They have had sleazy men asking them to be a kitten or sugar baby and get offered money, which they laugh about , but I do not find it funny, luckily they aren't vulnerable like some youngsters.
I would hand my husbands phone into the police if I found this on his phone.
I've seen what gets sent but we report it and they get kicked off.
Check your statements to where he is sending money through PayPal or cash app as my lot tell me.
What an absolute pig!
I hope you are wise enough not to fall for the sorry's .
5 years is a long time he knew what he was doing.

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 01:04

He says he has never paid. Tomorrow I will get all bank statements and check.

He has sent dick pics (hopefully not unsolicited) and received tit pics.

OP posts:
Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 01:01

His first question is always how old are you.

He has been doing it the full 5 years (probably longer) of our marriage, miscarriage and the birth of my son.

I have confronted him. He is sorry blah blah blah.

He massages 15 girls a day. This seems wild when I can barely get a hug!

OP posts:
FuckTheClubUp · 22/04/2024 00:33

That’s awful, he sounds awful too. What a betrayal, sorry OP

TassledFez · 22/04/2024 00:12

I’m so sorry @witmum. You must feel so sad, angry, disgusted reading that.

Did you take in what @CaraMiaMonCher said about the person on the other end knowing that you’ve taken screenshots?

Do you think he’s deliberately using Snapchat because it’s used by under 25’s?

Do you think he is messaging children - when you say “girls”?

I just would not be able to be in the same room as him after this, never mind sharing a life.

Temphelp · 22/04/2024 00:08

Know someone who was in the EXACT same situation and it doesn’t get better. Snapchat is notoriously sleazy and hard to stay on top of. Genuinely recommend you LTB.

so sorry you found out this way and even more sorry that he was such a prick in the first place. X

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 00:05

It is all so grubby. His first message is always how old are you and lots have not replied.

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MalibuBarbieDreamHouse · 22/04/2024 00:04

I don’t know anyone over 25 that uses Snapchat.
Is he a “sugar daddy” where girls are pretending like him; give him attention for money?

Original poster
witmum · 22/04/2024 00:04

I messaged saying I was drunk. Fat fingers.

One has tried to call twice in the last hour!

This feels very strange.

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