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AIBU?

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Original poster

SAHM

437 replies

VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:24

To think most women would prefer to be a SAHM given the choice. I don't know of anyone IRL that would choose to work if they didn't have to.

OP posts:
shepherdsangeldelight · 21/04/2024 20:38

VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:24

To think most women would prefer to be a SAHM given the choice. I don't know of anyone IRL that would choose to work if they didn't have to.

I'm guessing you are a SAHM? And do you, perchance, spend lots of time with other SAHMs? No chance that the "anyone you know IRL" subset of people might be slightly self chosen?

I'm a woman and had no desire to be a SAHM. I enjoy my job (and would continue to do a similar role on a voluntary basis if I won the lottery).

Peonies12 · 21/04/2024 20:37

If money was no issue, both DH and I would want to work part time in jobs we genuinely enjoyed. The balance of work and home/children is so important to me

Onehappymam · 21/04/2024 20:37

I chose to go back to work. Financially, I didn’t have to. I worked hard for my degree and career. It didn’t cross my mind not to return after maternity leave.

I think it’s easy to say ‘I wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to’ but you don’t know until you’re in that position.

bradpittsbathwater · 21/04/2024 20:36

No way

darkchocolatecoffee · 21/04/2024 20:36

Definitely want to work so I have an identity outside being a mother and not reliant on my DH for money.

If I won the lottery I probably would give up my job however, but it would need to be a life changing amount of money. I would probably do something I enjoy even if it doesn’t pay well.

Maelil01 · 21/04/2024 20:36

Are you kidding?!
Spend years training and doing exams to then sit at home and have to ask a partner for some money when I wanted to do X, Y & Z… NO chance!

Not to mention what happens if the marriage breaks down and you can’t leave of support yourself.

Main reason though is that I like working.

RM2013 · 21/04/2024 20:36

Besides maternity leave I’ve never been a SAHM. I think I’d have liked to when. The kids were younger but it wasn’t feasible. I retrained into a new career when youngest was only 18 months old so I was always happy with working although I used to miss out on some school things due to shifts which made me feel sad and guilty.
if I won the lottery now I would leave my job. I love being at home and can always find something to keep me busy!

jeaux90 · 21/04/2024 20:35

I actually don't know any women who would want to be a SAHM.

motleymop · 21/04/2024 20:35

Work is so much easier than being a SAHM - well, that is my experience with two small children.

Needmorelego · 21/04/2024 20:34

@VGoghsEar oh yawn.
Yet another SAHM vs Working mum thread.....
Some people like their jobs.
Some people don't.
Some would rather be at home .
Who cares really?

Original poster
VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:34

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 21/04/2024 20:32

100% i would still work, i love my kids but i couldn't spend 24/7 with them or just being a parent. I'm my own person

The 24/7 would change when they go to school.

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 21/04/2024 20:33

VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:31

But employed women have to do these things and work.

Show quote history

So do employed men - most husbands do an equal share of household chores and childcare-related activities.
If this isn't the norm to you, you need to raise your bar and do better.

Deathbyfluffy · 21/04/2024 20:32

VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:29

Would you all still work if you won the lottery?

Yes, my working life is a large part of who I am.
I'd hate to have a job where I'd just quit if money wasn't an issue - I do what I do for a lot more than a paycheck.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 21/04/2024 20:32

100% i would still work, i love my kids but i couldn't spend 24/7 with them or just being a parent. I'm my own person

Original poster
VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:31

Orangello · 21/04/2024 20:30

I think most people would want to do something else besides taking care of small children and cleaning the house.

But employed women have to do these things and work.

OP posts:
oldestmumaintheworld · 21/04/2024 20:31

And yes I would carry on working if I won the lottery.

vodkaredbullgirl · 21/04/2024 20:31

VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:29

Would you all still work if you won the lottery?

Yes

PuttingDownRoots · 21/04/2024 20:31

SUrely it depends on how much you like your job? Some people find their work fullfilling. For others, it is just what needs doing.

I liked being at home with my pair. Which was fortunate, as nursery would have cost more than my wage back then.

bakewellbride · 21/04/2024 20:30

My friend is a very successful solicitor and while she loves her son and is a great mum, she also loves her career. She works full time 'even though I don't HAVE to, I WANT to' to use her own exact words.

oldestmumaintheworld · 21/04/2024 20:30

God no, I'd sooner throw myself under a bus. Tried it for six months maternity leave, hated it so much I went back to work early.

Orangello · 21/04/2024 20:30

I think most people would want to do something else besides taking care of small children and cleaning the house.

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 21/04/2024 20:30

Agree.
Lockdown was the absolute better days of my life, and maternity leave.
Even when the school went back and I was still furlough for a bit.

If money was no thought I would never ever work again

onedayiwillbecontent · 21/04/2024 20:29

But probably part time.

mynameiscalypso · 21/04/2024 20:29

VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:29

Would you all still work if you won the lottery?

Yes.

onedayiwillbecontent · 21/04/2024 20:29

VGoghsEar · 21/04/2024 20:29

Would you all still work if you won the lottery?

Yes!