SAHM

I will say the downside though is how other people view you as a sahm. Theres an assumption that you are boring, which is crazy hecause there are a hell of a lot of dull jobs out there. And my job could be great at times, so sometimes I do miss it at bit.

Absolutely not, I’d have never given my job up completely. I was part time for a few years but full time again, I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being a SAHM.

I went back to work for a rest. The joy of being able to buy a sandwich for lunch and eat it in peace.

That's a completely different question absolutely irrelevant to being a sahp.

Absolutely not! I hated being at home during maternity leave and was glad to go back to work, I need the structure

God no. I was a SAHM for a while but was bored senseless with the mundanity of the day to day. However, we didn't have a great amount of disposable income. I would perhaps enjoy it more if I could afford to go to classes/activities everyday.

First of all, it is work. I am a SAHP, love it, adore it, couldn't be happier.... but you are very wrong. I know lots of friends who would have gone crazy without being able to work. It's pretty naive to think that every single parent wants to spend 24 hours a day with their child.

I never intended to be a sahm - it happened by accident (difficult 2nd pg combined with a job ending), but it was great and I have thoroughly enjoyed it. Much nicer (to me) than trying to make my Year 9s learn Shakespeare or even just behave themselves!

I think you have to be a certain type of person though - I am happy with my own company for long periods of time, am able to entertain myself and don't rely on colleagues or work for mental stimulation or validation. I enjoyed being with my children full time - I'd gone back to work very early with dc1 and felt I'd missed out.
Sah has also meant that I could have more dc than if I'd decided to go back to work. I wouldn't have been able to cope with a big family and a ft job.

If I'd been ambitious, career wise, or if I'd just loved my job more, maybe I'd feel differently.

If money were no object, I'd be part time. Doing a job I love regardless of pay.

Baby and toddler years - work

School age kids - SAHM 😜

Yep

I didnt enjoy my time as a SAHM . I had to stay at home for a period because we've had needed 3 in childcare at once and it was a simply unmanageable expense at the time. I hated every day of not working.

I would give up work in a heart beat to be a stay at home mum with the caveat that i would want a standard level of being able to afford some luxuries. Hence why i am not and went part time, to try and give myself the best of both worlds.

Going back to work (part time) saved my sanity.

Would I rather do my job than look after my dc? Hell yes, especially when they were young.

I wouldn't do my job if I won the lottery but then I imagine myself doing a variety of charitable work instead and taking a degree and spending time practicing 2 musical instruments and taking singing lessons and travelling the world (with the dc and alone).

Being a SAHM is a grind.

It wouldn’t suit me. I’d go so far as to say I’d hate it and my mental health would be damaged. It’s society’s fault. SAHM is expected to be 24/7 and basically family slave in most houses. I’d find that psychologically very tough.

Are you friends actively wanting to be SAHMs, or just thinking it would be nice not to have the drudgery bit of work sometimes, though?

It's my observation that (judging by the number of MN posts) SAHMs of school age children are always quite keen for their children to go back to school after the holidays, suggesting it's not the desire for constant childcare that's appealing.

I love being at home with my children and my maternity leaves were some of the happiest times of my life.
I went back to work as financially I needed to and fortunately kept my career as I'm now a single parent. I hated being reliant on someone else for money.
If I could keep my financial independence and maintain adult friendships that didn't revolve around my children then I probably wouldn't have gone back to work.
If I won the lottery then I would still work but it would take the pressure off and I would probably change my job to something school hours or term time.
I'd be worried that they'd hit their teens and suddenly I'd be lost as they don't need me as much anymore.

I only know one SAHM and she has been desperate to get back into work for the past four years. It has severely affected her mental health and confidence.

That may well be a self selecting sample but in the sample group I am exposed to being a SAHM is very much not something people aspire to.

Yes. I love my job and enjoy being something other than just mum.

DH would give up work in a heartbeat with a lotto win, I have always said I would still work in some capacity.

Personally would hate being a SAHM.

I think I lost myself a bit. I am an 'older parent' - maybe losing my autonomy hit me harder than I imagined it would? I like not being 'mummy' a few days a week. I find parenting a lot harder than working.

Being a SAHM would destroy my mental health. I actually can't think of anything worse. I have so much respect for women who do it (as I do think it must be very beneficial for little kids)

I don't know anyone who would rather be a SAHM in real life.

I think all this tells me is that we tend to be friends with people like ourselves.

Actually I forgot I do have a SAHM acquaintance but she has her DD in full time nursery, they have a weekend nanny and evening babysitting several times a week so she isn't really typical