SAHM

I was a SAHM for 9 years, and I absolutely loved it. My youngest has additional needs & needs me always around for afterschool, weekends , holidays etc, so it was hard to get back to work as he wouldn't have done well with childcare. However, financially I needed to be bringing in an income.
So I set up my own business that only operates term time, within school hours. While I love what I do, it's very full on, and throw in all the additional appointments & therapies my son needs to attend, means I never have a minute.
I would give it up in a heartbeat if I could afford to. I miss the days of been a full time SAHM & been available whenever my child needed me. I definitely am not giving my children 100% anymore & I feel guilty for that. Always distracted, always rushing!
I always intended on returning to my career when the kids started school, but that's not possible.
So I'm stuck working (all be it part time) for the foreseeable.

Not at my current job, but I'd definitely be paying for some childcare & a cleaner so I could volunteer with rescue animals.

I could technically afford to be a SAHM (as my wages after tax etc aren't much more than childcare) but working gives me some space, a pension & an identify outside "mama". I adore DS but I'm a far better mum when I've had a chance to miss him a bit. I appreciate him more & I have more patience.

Me too. At least I've chosen to work for the past few years and I didn't have to.

Jesus no! I'd absolutely hate it. I've actually just gone back full time after being part time for 4 years. I don't need the money but I hate doing school runs, dinners and all the other mundane tasks that I end up doing whilst part time so I much prefer to be in work.

A lot don’t ! They use nursery and have a cleaner 🤔

Oh God how smug.

No but I'd pay for part time childcare to get time to myself and I'd pay for cleaners and cooks!

I think it depends on the job, a minimum wage job that's got managers talking to you like dirt, is stressful and unfulfilling then yes most people would probably prefer to be at home.
A meaningful career that someone always dreamed of doing and has worked hard for and enjoys which pays them well and gives them a good standard of life is very different.

I'd work 4 days and would want my partner to do the same in an ideal world.

I'd absolutely hate to have no money of my own. I'd have to buy my husband's birthday present with his wages!

I'd hate to think of activities to fill every single day for the children.

Omg doing most of the housework and cooking - no thanks!

No work friends and social life. Getting further and further out of touch with my profession and losing confidence.

I was a SAHM for 12+ years and have been working for a few years now. I much preferred being a SAHM. Once the kids were all in school, I did lots of things. I volunteered at my kids school, I helped out one morning a week at a charity, I took a language class, I did online cooking classes etc. I was never bored.

I found life so much easier. I could go to every performance or sports day without a thought, I had plenty of time to take the kids tonvisit relatives in holidays (we live in a different country to our families), we didn’t have to worry about after school clubs and who was doing drop off, pick up etc.

Now, both DH and I are stressed and exhausted all the time and I wonder if the extra cash is worth the negative effect it’s having on our family. Every day, one of us is working in the evening cos we’ve had to leave early to take a kid somewhere. We hardly see our extended families. I’ve seen my DM twice in 12 months. I dread every Monday and count down the minutes until the end of my working week.

Urghh no - I worked hard for this career and like to feel I am contributing to society.

If I won the lottery? I'd probably do charity work instead.

I would still do my job if I won the lottery. My passive income pays more than my job so I do my job because I like it.

I would have been happier doing the job I do now than being a stay at home mum (which I was for 12 years) but only if I didn't have to deal with the kids at the end of the day which kind of means I'm a bit all or nothing. It's not the job or the kids I would t like, it's the juggling.

I enjoyed being a sahm when I knew it was for a limited time, but was happy to be back at work once the DC were school age. If I didn't enjoy my job then obviously that would be different. I also don't think its good for anyone's mental health to have a life that revolves solely around their home and family. Everybody needs their own 'thing'.

I adopted my ds aged 3 and a half so didn't experience maternity leave and there was no such thing as adoption leave in those days. I was a SAHM for 3 days a week with him and my mum looked after him the other two days whilst I worked. I'd have liked to have been with him 5 days a week but my job wouldn't allow it. The happiest times of my life were being with him those 3 days for that one year and I completely understand why anyone who can afford to be a full time stay at home mum would want to.

I would love to be a stay at home. Instead I'm a manager at work because someone needs to pay the mortgage and bills and I'm a single parent so it has to be me.
I'm not sure I'm the majority though.

Absolutely this. I would also never rely on a someone else for my financial security or expect them to be solely financially responsible for me.

I'd hate it.

SAHM here, this thread makes me feel better. I feel ungrateful for sometimes not enjoying it, wanting a break, not wanting to do the clearing up again, or food shop or washing etc etc and just feeling lonely. Will be going back to work soon and hopeful this will give me a new sense of purpose!

I had the option of being a SAHM but I was not willing to give up my financial independence.
If I won the lottery I would of stayed at home as I would of been financially stable.

I’d rather not work. Had 5 years off with my kids. If I didn’t need the money, I would do it again in a heart beat.

I was a SAHM for 5 year and now work pretty much fill time.

If I could I would resign tomorrow and go back to be a SAHM.

I loved it. I don't love my job so that may be part of it but the freedom to just have the holidays with the children not worrying about annual leave entitlement.

I feel like I was auch better parent when I was a SAHM

Feel thoroughly depressed at the thought of work tomorrow and another stressful week ahead of not having time to do anything properly because of having to sit at a lap top for 6 hours a day.

I would choose work. I went back to work part time and basically broke even so I could go back. I needed the balance of both with the goal to go full time again when they went to school and I did. Nothing wrong with it if that's your preference but definitely not mine

Yes, I'd find work to do that I enjoyed and felt added value to the world.

Tbh I enjoy my career and have always been independent.

I was that person and I chose to work.