SAHM

I’d choose work every time. It adds another dimension to my life and challenges me intellectually.

The nature of the SAHM brief depends on the level of family income and age and number of kids. You can't compare being a SAHM of baby triplets and another one under 5 to being a SAHM of one school age child, for example - one sounds like hell on earth, the other like quite an easy gig.

Oh and DH earns more than enough that I could be a SAHM if we chose. I don't choose it.

I’m from a working class family so women have always worked.

I’m now a doctor, mostly know other doctors, and don’t know anyone who chooses to stay at home although almost all could certainly afford to do so. I suspect having interesting, fulfilling work that was hard to achieve and that is financially, intellectually and personally rewarding changes the dynamic somewhat.

I’m going to side with you OP. I work FT with a 2 year old and 4 year old and I absolutely hate it. My DH earns erratically so falls to me. I’d give it up tomorrow if I could.

And therein lies the rub. I think everyone would love to not work - i.e. rely on said job for income - but the lifestyles achievable are different!
I know some women who are SAHM on a shoestring budget - they prefer it to working, but it takes effort! Bargain hunting, making delicious meals from cheap ingredients, budgeting etc etc. Of course some dual-income families are close to the breadline too. But some people think being a SAHM is worth sacrificing extra income.
If my husband was a multimillionaire and being a 'SAHM' meant doing 'charity work', having lazy brunches etc. while my armies of cooks, cleaners and nannies did all the actual work then sign me up!

I hated work with a burning passion. Unfortunately DH has insisted I get a job again when they start school, even though he earns enough for all of us 😂

What if he hated work too?

With under 3s? Yes I'd agree, i didn't like leaving mine to work at that age - but with school aged kids working is great.

For me the compromise was part time work so I didn't lose skills.

I can't imagine not working with a 7 and 9 year old for eg, at school all day

There are a lot of things to do “beside taking care of children and cleaning the house”
When you have the money …

I much prefer being a SAHM than going to work, I hated work with a burning passion. Unfortunately DH has insisted I get a job again when they start school, even though he earns enough for all of us 😂

Hell sometimes I've considered getting pregnant (or breaking my leg) just for the break from work.

My present career is stressful and not what I want to do. But needs must. I have the qualifications and I can't afford to retrain now.

If you're lucky enough to do a job you love, I can understand why you wouldn't want to give it up! I used to have a job like that.

I adored being a SAHM. Absolutely loved being at home with DC. Taking them to playgroups, music groups, swimming, tumble tots, sing & sign.

Lots of mums say they want to feel like themselves again and “not just mum,” but I never felt that I was “just mum.”

Worked all my life until I had Dd a little later (infertility, not choice) stayed mainly at home with Dd until 5, some of the hardest, but best days of my life, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
If I didn’t have to work, I wouldn’t and if I won the lottery, I’d travel lots and study and enjoy my life.

I loved being a SAHM while my children were small but I know plenty of women who wouldn't have wanted to do it. Some people do actually like their work and earnings!

I'd have own thing if I was a SAHM again just don't want it to be work.

I would have preferred to work if we could have afforded childcare that wasn’t too stressful. But watching friends skimping at work and at home, rushing back to meet pick up times, then working till midnight at home, panicking over who was going to stay home when their child was sick, stressing over holiday clubs etc. seemed like the worst of all worlds. Especially as it was, despite everything, always the women that ended up doing the majority of the compromising.

What I really wanted was what my husband had - a loving parent at home picking up all the slack while I focused on my career and still got to have weekends and some evenings doing the fun stuff.

I work FT myself and know that it's the right thing to do for long term security etc. But do I think it's "easier" than not working? No way!!!

I don't understand how this could be true. You still have to do all the mum stuff AND work.

I always thought I'd love to, but was the higher earner and we couldn't afford me to not work. As it turned out with our first, I am not remotely well suited to day in day out stay at home with hyperactive child (pandemic hit at 12 months). Our second is a very different character, and I could happily stay at home with her, getting things done and playing. Still can't afford to!

Is working but having a SAHD available as an option?

I loved having 10 months at home with my little girl but I was so excited to get back to Uni! I still get to spend alot of time with her but I also get to do something that is intellectually stimulating and challenging so I get the best of both worlds! And I do want to work PT at least until shes in school I couldnt just be at home all the time.

I choose work.
I choose holidays.
I choose sleep.
I choose no mess.
I choose no responsibility.
I choose not to have kids.
I choose me me me.

I would rather sit on a cactus than be at home.

I would choose to work every time. I love my children but I would go crazy being home with them all day every day

when my children were small i was desperate to stay home. Then as they got older i got over it. Now they are teens I really feel they would be better off with one of us at home with homework and clubs. Sadly we cannot afford that.

if we came into enough money to do it, id quit in a heartbeat and look for a work from home job.